Work » One Off

First Day at a new Job

Jun 072010

So, today I started my new job. For those of you just tuning in, I was recently hired as a Program Manager for a company called Datasphere Technologies. They do hyper-localization. That’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand what it means either.

I realized that this job was going to be a step above what I had been doing at Microsoft, and I was right. However, after today, it feels less like a step and more like I need a pole vault pole to reach it. I’m sure I’ll be able to pick it up, but I feel like there’s so much to learn so quickly, trying to pick it up is rather like trying to get a sip of water from a firehose.

Yeah…it’s kindof like that. I really like the folks in the office and the folks I’m working with, but it’s been a big change of environment. I instantly went from being one of the oldest people on the team with the most understanding of what was going on behind the scenes to being one of (if not the) youngest, and completely without a clue in the world.

At one point, I had such a bad headache I thought I was going to pass out…and I couldn’t tell if it was from the tiny screens I was using (it’s hard to go from three 24" widescreen monitors to a 19" non-widescreen monitor), the flourescent lights, or the fact that my brain had effectively been turned into Jello. Plus, now that I’m no longer an hourly employee, I get to stay at work later, which I hadn’t prepared for in terms of edibles.

Right now, things just feel a little unsettled. I get like this every time I experience change, though. I don’t have any doubt that I’m going to pick up everything I need to in a timely manner, and will be able to be quite successful in my work. And I don’t doubt that I will really enjoy what I’m doing. I just always have a few shaky moments as I get on my feet.

On the plus side, I just filled out the paperwork for my very first big-boy insurance today. I’m actually on a group policy! It’s a really good group policy, too. It almost makes me want to get seriously ill just so I can test it out. But not really.

So, after the first day of work, I’m a little wiped. I think that a nice dip in the hot tub will be in order this evening, then maybe the remainder of the pint of ice cream in my freezer. Then bed. Definitely bed.

What a Trip

Family, Food, Pictures, Vacations and Road Trips, Work 1 Response »

Jun 042010

Well, well, well. It’s been quite a week.

As I mentioned in some earlier blog posts, last Friday was my final day at Microsoft. It was a bittersweet departure for me…I’d been there for a long time (especially for me.) A small group of work friends went to lunch at the sit-down restaurant on campus. I got a steak sandwich and perhaps one of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind: Sweet Potato Fries. (Cue: Choir of Angels). Then, my boss scheduled a little celebration for the whole team for my leaving. I’m not sure if they were honoring me or celebrating the fact that I was FINALLY gone. (I’ll chose to think the former. I just like living in that world of oblivion.) He got pie. (Have I ever mentioned how much I love pie? I haven’t? Well, I love pie.)

It ended up working out that I was able to take a week off between leaving Microsoft and starting at DataSphere. So, I woke up Saturday morning with a full week of luxuriating and lounging and being a bum ahead of me. As I was laying in bed snuggling with my puppy, trying to avoid getting out of bed, I had a thought. Now, normally, I try to avoid having thoughts as, more often than not, my thoughts only lead me down dark and dangerous roads from which there is no possible return. This time was no different. I was laying in bed thinking about a conversation I had with my cousin earlier in the week. Austin and I have been close since we were little kids. He’s only six months older than I am, and when we got together we were dangerous. Well, dangerous in only the way that two goody-two-shoes Mormon kids can be dangerous…which is to say we weren’t dangerous at all, just really annoying. Anyway, Austin and his wife were travelling to Utah to visit with his parents…who only live about five minutes away from my parents. As I was laying there in bed, I thought. "It’s too bad that I can’t be down in Utah while Austin and Anna are there. I’d like to see them again. Wait a minute. Why can’t I be down in Utah?" I didn’t have any work considerations, why not go. So, at 8AM, I called up my folks and said, "So, um, would you mind terribly if I just drove down to Utah today?" Then I called up Constance at Paws-A-Moment, the awesome boarding facility at which Luke stays when I’m travelling, and by 10:30 AM, I was on the road.

Thirteen hours and one really terrible audiobook later, I pulled into Syracuse, UT at about 12:30 AM. (Yes, I know that 10:30 AM to 12:30 AM is not 13 hours. There’s a time zone change. Sheesh.) (And seriously, that audiobook was AWFUL!)

Thus began my very short, but very fun spontaneous vacation to Utah.

Sunday, the folks and I drove across the causeway to Antelope Island, out in the Great Salt Lake, and took a boatload of photos. It was an absolutely stunning day, and the island was beautiful. I got a LOT of really great shots, including the really cool shot that is now the banner image for my new photoblog. Below is the view from the east side of the island looking back toward the Wasatch mountain range. (Click on the image to see the full-sized version. Warning: It’s HUGE.

We putzed around the rest of the evening, and took a walk down to the little pond/park at the end of my parent’s street. Again, I got some more great pictures of some of the local birds. Especially these little ducklings!

So cute. Monday morning (Memorial Day) dawned extremely early as my dad, uncle, and I decided to hike Adam’s Canyon just east of Layton. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning is against my religion. And getting up at 5:30 in the morning ON VACATION is even more evil, but nevertheless, I set aside my deeply held beliefs in order to appease my tormentors. By 6:30, we were starting a long uphill climb to a very pretty area with a big, 40-foot waterfall.

The hike was tiring, but very pretty. I carried all my camera gear along with me to take a bunch of pictures…a few of which turned out all right. It reminded me that before I go on any long backpacking trip, I really do need to get into better shape. By the end, my legs were like Jello and I felt the need to sleep for the rest of my life.

After the hike and my nap, my sister, brother-in-law, and niece came to my parents house to visit, then we all went over to my aunt and uncle’s house to have a little BBQ (not a really barbeque…just grilling burgers) and enjoy each other’s company. It was nice to see everyone, the food was great, and the weather was just perfect.

No, she’s not screaming or crying. She’s making a (hilarious) camera face.

Tuesday was much more laid back. Austin, Anna, and I went to this little dive called The Star Cafe in Layton, which serves "Utah Scones." I’m going to write a whole blog post about Utah Scones vs. Regular Scones (Utah Scones SO win) so you don’t get a picture now. Stay tuned for that little gem. Breakfast was awesome. This is one of those places where you could become "a regular" and the waitresses know your name and know what you want when you come in. Plus it was CHEAP! Austin, Anna, and I ate enough to sustain a small third world country for about a week, and it ended up costing us $23. Whereas, I can usually spend more than that just for myself at my cafe here, and still not get as much food. Good on ya’, Star Cafe!

The rest of the day we just spend hanging out. We ran some errands, watched The Princess and the Frog, ate Cafe Rio (my most-missed Utah food) including their awesome Tres Leches, and did some work on Dad’s computer. Then, Wednesday, I was back in the car for another 13-hour drive back home to Seattle. And, of course, about an hour before I got back home, it started raining, and hasn’t stopped since I got back. (Not that I’m bitter.)

I’ve never really done something that spontaneous before. It was a lot of fun. I actually even enjoyed the car ride. I tell you what: a good audiobook or two really make the time just fly. (For military or sci-fi nerds out there, I would HIGHLY recommend Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet series. Very captivating.) I am the kind of person who generally plans his activities and doesn’t generally like having to change my plans at the last minute. I was just planning on working on my website, maybe starting my next audiobook, and playing some video games. Instead, I got to take about 800 photos, see distant friends and family, eat some great food, enjoy the sunshine for a couple of days (since we haven’t seen it in Seattle since last October), and let someone else clean up after me for a change!

The moral of the story? Aw, hell. I don’t really do morals. Just suffice it to say that if the opportunity arises to make a surprise visit to my family again, I’m totally going to do it. Big thanks to mom & dad for the flexibility, and to Rich & Barb for saving space for one more for Memorial Day! It was a blast.

Movin’ On Up

Work 5 Responses »

May 192010

On April 30, 2010, I walked through the doors of Microsoft Studios as a new contract employee at Microsoft. It was my first job after moving up here to Seattle relatively unannounced and completely unplanned. I have been at Microsoft for over three years as an hourly contractor, with a couple of position changes during that time. It’s the longest I’ve been in a single job…well…ever.

In a couple of weeks, this era comes to an end.

That’s right boys and girls, I will be leaving my long-term employment at Microsoft and moving on to a new position with another company in nearby Bellevue, DataSphere. And, it marks the first time in my entire employment history where I am a full-time, salaried, and benefitted employee. No more timecards! Paid Vacation! No overtime pay (*Sad Trombone*) It’s a great position, looks like a great company, and I really dig their platform. (By the way, may I highly suggest that you visit and then bookmark http://www.sadtrombone.com and http://www.dramabutton.com? These two websites are a must for anyone who needs more sound effects in their life.)

It’s been a fascinating three years at Microsoft, for sure. When I started, I had just finished working at Aztec ShowTrax, teaching voice, and performing. I was still getting used to the idea that I was done with the performing world. My business experience was limited to my own start-ups and customer support jobs. I had spent several years as a gypsy, taking me to wherever the next paying gig was.

Over these three years, I got used to working a standard work week, learned to appreciate my weekends more than life itself, learned what it’s like having a regular paycheck, got an MBA and learned how to speak the language of business a little better. I speak the language, but with a very heavy performer’s (aka affected fake British) accent. I’ve managed to start a real live savings account and have a 401k AND an IRA. I’ve started another company. I became thoroughly engrossed in video games. I gained 25 pounds.

The last three years have been a really fun, challenging, difficult, amazing, life-altering time for me. I’m grateful for the opportunities I had to learn and experience and grow at Microsoft, and I’m grateful for the opportunities that I’m going to have to grow and expand my skills further. It’ll be bittersweet to leave my nice cubicle with the wall of windows and my access to all the latest and greatest technological toys…even before they are announced to the public. But it will also be nice to expand into a new position and face new challenges. I’m the kind of person who has to continue to be challenged, and I’m excited for the new ones headed my way.

I won’t be blogging a lot about my work at DataSphere because, well, it’s just kind of tacky to blog about work too much (and can really come back to bite you in the butt if you’re not careful) but I wanted friends and family to know about this big change for me. I’m no longer a contractor, I’m a real employee! I feel like a real human boy!

Weight Loss, the stream-of-consciousness version

Food, Health, Resolutions, Work No Responses »

Jan 132010

OH HAI! Remember me? I used to blog here.

Well, when the holidays concluded, I weighed a hefty 198.6 pounds. DANGEROUSLY close to breaking my vow to myself that I would never cross over the 200 pound mark, ever in my life. So, starting on December 28th, I began Operation Fatty McFat-Fat Killer (working title.) The goal, as mentioned previously, is to lose approximately 20 pounds, getting down to a much more manageable 175, and to get more in shape in preparation for my big hike this summer. So far, so good. This morning, I weighed in at 189.0 pounds. That’s nearly 10 pounds in two weeks. I can’t complain too much.

I’ve also been exercising…some. I started by taking Luke running on the streets a few times, but then I got shin splints, and stopped doing that. I’ve been doing some treadmill running at my apartment complex, and I’m beating myself up on the stair-steppers at the gym. I’m also doing some very minor weight lifting…mostly core strength stuff. I’m far more focused on losing fat than I am on gaining a lot a muscle right now, so I’m doing a little lifting just to help improve my metabolism, but not enough to bulk up at all.

I really, really hate exercising. REALLY. HATE. IT. With a fiery passion. You know how most people say they feel great after working out, or they get that endorphin rush? I don’t. I never have. Not even when I had been doing 2-hour workouts five days a week for six months. I always feel like garbage after working out. I can’t possible exercise before work because after I’m done, I absolutely have to take a nap or I can’t function. So, working out is a major struggle for me, and will continue to be.

The eating thing, however, that’s become a whole lot easier. Back when I still had ~~friends~~ roommates, I would often do the cooking for the whole house. Because, with the possible exception of Nate and Brett, I don’t know that I’ve ever had roommates that were anywhere near as proficient in the kitchen as I was. Maybe I did, but I never found out, because I was always doing the cooking. Anyway, when you cook, it’s all about combining ingredients and flavors to make a fantastic meal. Eating for weight loss, for me, anyway, is a lot different. It’s extremely difficult to accurately track your calories when you’re cooking meals with tons of ingredients.

However, since living on my own, I’ve discovered that I don’t enjoy cooking as much for myself as I do for other people. So naturally, my eating had gotten a lot simpler. Previously, it was largely fast food. No cooking, no clean-up, no problem. But obviously, fast food isn’t so great for the whole weight loss thing, so that’s off the table. However, when you cook and serve ingredients separately, it’s much easier to track your caloric intake. For instance, if I wanted to make salmon before, I might have marinated the salmon in lime juice, honey, and green chile, then grill it, and serve it with a mango peach salsa and a large side of rich, cheesy risotto. That simple recipe is actually very difficult to calculate the actual nutritional value without having to find out the values of each individual ingredient, which could take 30 minutes to look up online. And if it takes longer to figure out the nutritional value of a recipe than it does to cook the meal, you’re not going to track your calories.

Instead, eating for weight loss is more about preparation methods than it is recipes. It’s about eating just the food without all the extras. For instance. I now have a salmon fillet grilled or baked, some plain brown rice with 1/2 a teaspoon of butter, and steamed cauliflower. Sure, it’s majorly lacking in the flavor department, but at least it’s easy to track exactly what I’m eating. And tracking what you eat really is the only way to really lose weight. There is a scientific principle (I can’t remember the name and Google failed me) which states that it is impossible to observer or measure something without changing it somewhat. That’s especially true when it comes to food intake. You begin change what you eat because you see your calorie allowance been raped and pillaged by excruciatingly small amounts of food, so you start eating lower calorie foods naturally. And by measuring, you actually limit your portions in a way that you wouldn’t if you weren’t tracking.

So my eating has become much more healthy in the last two weeks…even if it’s been somewhat lacking in variety.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with 1/2 a banana almost every day. Occasionally a "healthier" cold cereal with skim milk or peanut butter toast. Usually runs about 200-300 calories.

Lunch: Perhaps the greatest boon to my eating change is the presence of Chandry’s, a natural foods cafe in the food court in the commons at work. We just moved into a new building complex in May of last year, and it has a huge commons area with a bank, post office, salon, gift shop, outdoor shop, and about 20 different restaurants. Chandry’s has been my lifesaver. All of their food is all natural, prepared very simply. It’s a walk in the park to pick food to eat that is easy to measure. Most days, I’ll have either roasted turkey, grilled chicken, or grilled fish, usually Tilapia or Salmon. I’ll usually get some brown rice, a little fresh fruit, and some grilled veggies (carrots, zucchini, green beans). Lunch usually runs about 400 calories, and leaves me extremely full.

Dinner: This is where things get a little tricky for me. I’m on a strict no fast food diet except for my cheat days (more on that later.) So I’m cooking every single night. Or, at the very least, re-heating in the microwave. Occasionally I’ll have some baked salmon and rice for dinner, but usually, by the time I get home at the end of the day, I want something a little more "together." So, I’ve been trying to find some recipes that are healthy, and already have the nutritional information figured out. This week I had a stir-fry of steak strips with steamed veggies and soba noodles. Tonight I made Vermicelli with roasted veggies and parmesan. Next week I’m planning on making a pot of my amazing Turkey Meatball and Orzo soup which I will serve with steamed veggies on the side. It’s a little harder to track recipes like this, but I try to make an effort for dinner, at least, because having something that’s more like a meal than like a bunch of individual elements make me long for my Panda Express Orange Chicken just a little less. I usually try to keep my dinners to around 600 calories.

Snack: With the new year, work has axed the practice of allowing us lowly contractors to get overtime, which is totally fine for me, because I hate getting overtime. I’d rather have more time off than get more money, thanks. I also started on an earlier schedule (8-4) which means that I get home earlier in the day, and usually eat my dinner by 5:00 or 5:30. I absolutely must have something else to eat before I go to bed otherwise I’ll wake up hungry in the middle of the night, and end up eating something that a) probably isn’t all that healthy and b) I will forget to track in my calorie count. And usually, I try to satisfy my insatiable sweet tooth a little. This is my biggest hurdle. Most nights I have to talk myself down from the ledge of whipping up a quick Molten Chocolate Cake. I did try making a grilled Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich after watching a segment on the Food Network, and I’m completely hooked. I didn’t think I would like it, but it’s REALLY good. Plus, it’s less than 200 calories if you do it right. Either that, or I’ll have one of those 100 calorie bags of popcorn and an orange or apple.

For tracking my calorie spend, I’m using a really cool website called FitDay.com. It allows you to track your food, your activity, and your weight. And it’s free. And since it’s accessible when I am at work as well as at home, I seem to do a better job of entering my food that I eat during the day. In fact, since I eat my lunch at my desk, I usually take a few minutes to enter breakfast, lunch, and what I expect to have for dinner and my snack that night during my actual lunchtime. It works well for me.

So, it’s the 13th of January, and I’m already down 9.6 pounds. Just 14 more to go!

OJ, Money, and Sleeping: A Week In Review

Health, Holidays, Money, Work 2 Responses »

Dec 212009

Once upon a time there was a gap-toothed little red-headed boy who used to write a blog. And in this blog, he wrote all kinds of stories about his life, his crippling emotional retardation, and sometimes, he even posted pictures of his little doggy. Then, one day, the little red-headed boy realized that his life was boring enough to send Robin Williams into a permanent coma, and he ran out of things to write, so he stopped writing in his blog, and instead spent all of his time playing video games. The End.

Yeah.

I’ve been having a difficult time trying to summon the motivation to blog lately. Partly, I think it’s just because my life is pretty monotonous. Also, I just didn’t want to. But I am nothing if not grudgingly dedicated, so here I am, spilling my guts for the world to see. This week was, to put it mildly, not one of my better weeks, certainly.

Monday, Tuesday: Work. Everyone decides to go on vacation two weeks before Christmas through the end of the year in order to use up their vacation before they lose it, so I am largely unable to accomplish what I need as I rely heavily on other teams and departments. And since I don’t get very much paid vacation as an hourly contractor, I am not able to take three weeks of vacation at the end of the year without ruining my credit rating even further.

Wednesday: Wake up with a sore throat. Assuming it’s just because I sleep with my mouth open (see previous post) and it’s been very dry. Drink water. Drink Hot Chocolate. Drink Mint Tea. Threaten to fire-bomb the universe if I get sick this close to Christmas.

Thursday: It hurts to swallow. I stay home from work. I only leave the house to walk the dog, get a bunch of orange juice, and bolster my immune system with a trip to Dairy Queen for lunch. Sleep almost all day long.

A Side Note: the only time I really don’t like owning a dog is when I’m sick. It wasn’t so bad when I had roommates and I could beg them to walk Luke. But now, it doesn’t matter how sick I am, if I don’t walk Luke, I’ll just be cleaning up his leavings…and that is certainly the worse of two evils. Mothers, I don’t know how you do it when you get sick. I couldn’t handle having to take care of kids and being sick at the same time. At least I can tell my "child" to go lay in the corner for six hours and he’ll do it.

Friday: It doesn’t hurt to swallow anymore, but the throat is still scratchy and I have a terrible sinus headache. Work from home. Get a TON of stuff done because I’m actually able to focus on my work rather than dealing with crises all day long. Three hours worth of naps.

Saturday: Feeling better. Throat is fine, but now I’m sneezy and have a runny nose. Go into the office to catch up on some hours. End up having to re-install my whole operating system due to some test/beta software that I am "dogfooding" causing some issues. (Dogfooding is a term used within the software industry which means that the people within the company have to use the software to help expand the pool of testers. For instance, I was using Windows 7 six months before it came to market. I’ve been using Office 2010 for about three months now. (P.S., neither of those software packages were the cause of the problem.) Go to the storage locker to get my suitcase. Forget it’s packed full of books. Zipper pops open and is beyond repair. (This suitcase has been with me on my mission, on the cruise ship, and pretty much every trip back and forth between Utah and Michigan. It’s served it’s time.) Send old suitcase on to the great baggage claim in the sky.

A Side Note/Rant. My dearly departed suitcase was one of those mammoth 30" suitcases on wheels that I could easily fit into myself, and still have enough room left over for Luke to hop in and snuggle with me. When I bought the suitcase, I would regularly pack it to the gills to get to and from where I was going. It rarely got weighed. I never got charged extra if it went over 75 pounds. The suitcase itself weighed 17 pounds. Even if I were to fill it with cotton batting, the stupid thing would still weigh over 50 pounds, the new weight limit for the cheap-a@# airlines. Last Christmas, I was bringing home my Christmas presents, and my suitcase ended up going over the 50 pound limit by seven pounds. They wanted to charge me $90.00 to put it on the plane anyway. NINETY. DOLLARS. I could have slapped an address label on it and shipped the thing next-day air to Seattle for less than that. So instead of ~~being financially raped~~ paying the exorbitant fee, I had to open my suitcase right there in the middle of the check-in plaza, take out my presents, finish checking in, and then call my parents to drive 20 minutes back to the airport to pick up the presents they had just bought me, which I would then pick up in June when I drove down. NOW, the airlines are going to charge me $20 just to bring a suitcase on the stinking plane at all. God forbid that my family actually wants to give me any Christmas presents this year. Gift certificates just aren’t as fun douchebags. Airlines, if you keep nickel and diming me to death, I’m going to start taking the Amtrak train down. It may take a little longer, but at least I won’t have to cash in my 401k just to visit my family. Also, I weigh less than 200 pounds. So why is it that I get charged $90 to bring a suitcase on that’s 7 pounds over the limit, and the 350 pound lard-a@# in the seat next to me doesn’t get charged $90 for being a fatty? My extra seven pounds is a whole lot less damaging than his extra 150.

Saturday, Continued: With the suitcase beyond repair, and the realization that I didn’t want to be opening my suitcase in the middle of the airport to pull out my personal belongings again, I decided it was time I bought some new luggage–something smaller and lighter that wouldn’t make it so easy to pack over my allowed weight. So, I went to Kohl’s. Kohl’s is a very dangerous store for me: Everything is always on sale. They are always having some crazy scratch and win discount game going on, you always get special deals if you use your Kohl’s card, and worst of all, they give you Kohl’s cash based on how much you spend, which you can then turn around and bring back to the store in a couple of weeks. So, I found a great deal on a set of American Tourister suitcases. A 25" upright, a 19" carryon, and wheeled duffel bag for $89. While I was there, I also happened across a new electric razor that I’ve been wanting to try, and it was on sale too. Normally $189.00, on sale for $149.00. Then I got 10% off for using my Kohl’s card. And another 20% off for the scratch and win game. AND I got $40 of Kohl’s Cash back. So, if you count the Kohl’s Case (which I do) I got a brand new suitcase set AND razor (approx $400 value) for $150. Then I went home and promised myself I was never going to spend money again.

Another Side Note: I have discovered that, among men of shaving age, most have very set-in-stone ideas about shaving implements. Until yesterday, I always used the Mach 3 straight razor for my shaving needs. Before that, I had an electric razor, but I didn’t really like it that much. My brother uses and electric razor, and says that straight razors give him really bad razor burn. My dad uses an electric razor, but it has to be one of those kind that you can use in the shower. The level of brand loyalty to razors and shaving accoutrement is nothing short of astonishing. Most men even stick with the same brand of shaving cream or gel for their whole lives. Someone should do a case study. Where do these loyalties come from? Do they stem from the father? Is it the same way for women’s shaving needs? I don’t know many men who switch brands or methods very easily. When it comes to shaving, that just seems not to be a problem for me. I’m a fickle consumer, and if you do something to piss me off, you’re on the list. Even with razors. E.g., this razor. Avoid this like the plague. It’ll rip the hell out of your face, and it costs more than my grocery bill for the month.

Sunday: Still stuffed up, and tired, but otherwise feeling fine. Still drinking OJ (which, in my old age, doesn’t sit well with me any more (*ahem*) and also gives me really bad heartburn.) Lounge around the house. Get hit with a very unusual wave of buyer’s remorse. Well, that’s not quite accurate. Buyer’s remorse is when you regret a specific purchase. I suppose it’s more a case of shopper’s remorse. I just feel sick about my spending habits. I was doing SO well with paying off my credit cards. But I’m terrible with budgets, money, self-control, fiscal responsibility, etc., and I decided it was time to put together a game plan. When I do this, the same thing always happens.

Gather my financial information
Put together a really awesome spreadsheet full of formulas and automatic calculations
Start plugging in budget numbers
Get completely discouraged when looking at budget numbers
Give up
Calm myself by a) eating pie, b) going clothes shopping, or c) ordering something expensive online.

The cherry pie was good.

I’ll probably write a confessional post about this later on, but I am really, really struggling with my inability to control my spending. I just can’t seem to stop spending money. And it’s getting to the point that I’m really starting to get worried. My students loans go back into repayment in February, and that’s going to be a massive hit to my budget. And instead of spending the last six months finishing off the last of my credit cards and saving money like depression-era grandmother, I managed to save about $1,000 and in the last four months, have racked up another $9,000 in credit card debt. THIS is why I have to get rid of my cards. I have proven over and over again that I simply can not be trusted when it comes to money. And that scares me. I don’t want to be one of those lonely old guys who lives in a little one-room hovel and never has any money but the meager income from social security (which likely won’t exist when I’m an old man.) Thank goodness for automatic paycheck deductions into the 401k otherwise I’d never save any money.

So, the remainder of Sunday night, I spent in front of my computer trying to figure out my plan of action. I can’t say that I’ve figured it out completely yet, but it looks like over the next few weeks I’m going to have to start cutting back on eating out, expensive groceries, shopping (duh), entertainment expenses, etc. I’m going to see if I can’t consolidate my student loans at a much lower interest rate than the one I’ve got now. I have, however, figured out my credit card payoff plan, and think that, if I can wrangle it, I can have all of my cards paid off and closed out (credit score be damned) by December 31, 2011.

Unless I get a raise (woo hoo!) or get laid of (I’m screwed), that is.

So, in summary, not one of my better weeks, that’s for certain. I know it’s stupid to wait until the beginning of the year to start getting your life back in order, but there is something refreshing about having some fixed point in time to flag as your opportunity to collect yourself and begin to work toward a new goal. And the New Year is coming up shortly. I’ll be updating my resolutions shortly, and hopefully, I will be able to get things under control. It’s hard to get your financial life under control when your personal and emotional lives are FEMA disaster areas, but you’ve got to start somewhere, right?

And now I need another piece of pie.

Losing My Voice

Audiobooks, Money, Ramblings, Work 5 Responses »

Dec 012009

It’s been four and a half years since I hung up my tap shoes and walked away from the performing world. Doing so was easier for me than I expected it to be, what with the miserable performing experience I had just gotten through with. Nevertheless, when I "retired’ from performing, I was basically erasing my identity. Ever since that moment on my mission when I got a letter from Tim Threlfall telling me that I had been accepted into the Music Dance Theatre program in college–and even before that, when I joined the ranks of the theatre nerds in high school–I was a performer. I was an actor. I needed to be on stage. I needed the applause. I needed to feel like I was special because I put on costumes and sang and danced for a living.

Walking away from the day-to-day realities of performing wasn’t that hard. I hated rehearsals, the poor pay, the torturously long hours, the low pay, the self-esteem destroying criticism, the constant rejection, and the low pay. But part of me still longs to be the performer, still wants to be the guy singing and dancing on stage and entertaining people. Plus, let’s be honest, I spent tons of money and countless hours honing my craft and teaching it to others. My rejection of the performer’s life means that those skills lay largely dormant in my day-to-day life.

Lately, I’ve really been struggling with my role as a corporate drone. I’ve been in my job for well over two years now, which is the longest I’ve ever held a single job. And certainly, the longest I’ve ever held a full-time job. Actually, this really is my first "official" full-time job. All my other jobs certainly took up more than full-time, but didn’t pay accordingly. I feel, working in a corporate environment, as though I’m losing my voice. Not physically, but metaphorically. Up until my move to Seattle, I’ve been something of a free spirit. I went where the jobs took me. But now, I go to the same place every day. I do the same thing every day. I struggle to find the passion and fire that I used to have over my previous endeavors.

I’ve discussed this in previous blog posts, certainly. It’s not a new feeling, and it does come and go in waves.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve really felt a drive to reclaim my voice a little. Both literally and figuratively. I’ve decided that I’m going to try to start doing some freelance voiceover work. I own an audiobook company, and enjoy doing that deeply. But until that starts paying the bills (remember: audiobooks make a great Christmas present!), I have decided that it’s time to put some of my training to good use in other arenas. I’ve got the setup, some of the training, and a desire. In my world, that’s a recipe for moderate success.

So, I’ve joined a few sites for VO artists. I have recorded several new VO demos. I’m sending out auditions when I get the chance. And I’m enjoying the process. This certainly isn’t a full-time thing (at least, not yet), and my full-time corporate job certainly provides me far more financial stability than would VO work, but I want to feel like I’m reclaiming some of my abandoned and suppressed history and identity. Plus, let’s be honest…VO work can pay really well. I can make as much in 1-1.5 hours of VO work as I would for a whole day’s work at my regular job. And with freelancing in my own studio, I can do both! (Then I wouldn’t feel so guilty about buying that new $1900 camera that I want so desperately.) (Um…I mean…Then I could start building my emergency fund again. Yeah. That’s the ticket.)

If you’d like to hear my new VO demos, just visit http://www.voices.com/demos/DrChumley.

And if you know people who are looking for voiceover talent, forward the link on.

Halloween: I don’t get it.

Pictures, Ramblings, Rants, Work 1 Response »

Oct 302009

Okay, so tomorrow’s Halloween, right? Do you have a costume? Are you wearing said costume to work? Are are mentally challenged?

Seriously. I don’t get the Halloween thing. I mean, sure, it was fun when I was a kid to dress up and go door to door trick or treating and making myself sick on candy for the next few weeks (or, more accurately, a few days with my sweet tooth.) I can even understand, though I will never be caught dead doing it, people wearing costumes to costume parties. What I don’t understand is how people can wear costumes to a professional workplace. Exhibit A – three of my co-workers:

Now, granted, I’ll give the two on the left props for originality…especially considering that we work publishing TV content. (Ryan is dressed as McGruber from SNL, Nick as Brett Michaels from Rock of Love…with guyliner even.) And Nate wins the award for the most elaborate costume, although that hardly counts, since he goes to pirate conventions dressed like that every once a month, it seems. This year, I was shocked to find that more guys dressed up for Halloween than girls.

But at work? Really? There’s just no way I can take you seriously when you’re dressed like a member of the cast of a VH1 Reality show. You got a problem you need help with? You’ll have to wait until Monday. I can’t focus through the dying gasp of your professionalism.

Oh, and while we’re at it, what’s with girls dressing up like hookers for Halloween?

"Why are you dressed up like a whore?"
"I’m not! I’m a witch."
"Um, no. You’re a hooker with pointy hat on."
"Nuh uh! I’m a sexy witch."
"Look sister, I know a hooker when I see one. In fact, there’s a dead hooker in the trunk of my car as we speak. And you, miss thang, are a whore with a pointy hat."
"I also have a wand."
"Look, just go away. If I wanted to see a whore with a hat, I’d have stuck a baseball cap on my ex-wife*."

* I’m just kidding. My ex-wife and are actually on good terms. She’s in the trunk of my car.

Look, if you have to use the adjective "Sexy" to describe your costume, then it’s not a good costume. Unless you happen to be using it as an adjective for "Male Swimsuit Model." Fortunately, we didn’t have any sexy nurses, sexy schoolgirls, sexy witches, sexy stenographers, sexy angels, etc. in the female workforce today. During one of our conference calls today, however, the contact from the other company said that his secretary came to work dressed as a "punta loca" (translated: Crazy Bitch. His words, not mine)–a latina gangsta girl. Is that the impression you want to be making, even on Halloween Eve?

I know I’m an old curmudgeon already, but I just don’t get it. I don’t. And I REALLY don’t get decorating for Halloween. Exhibit B – The Lobby of my Building:

This is a brand new building–one of six massive new buildings built to house the Entertainment and Devices division of the company (Xbox, Zune, etc.) That huge white thing at the top of the picture is a two-store high LED curtain that probably cost enough money to pay for the salary of at least three of the people working on my team for a year. The Atrium is a huge, beautiful four-story high space with a glass ceiling, with massive planters full of real tropical plants scattered around in cozy little seating areas. So what better way to decorate for Halloween by filling the atrium with cotton batting fake spider webs and giant inflatable fabric pumpkins. Because nothing says "I wear a mullet, my car is up on blocks, and I have couch in my front yard," better than 4-foot high giant inflatable lawn ornaments being used for decorations in a professional workplace.

Aside 1: Giant Inflatable Lawn Decorations are never appropriate under any circumstance whatsoever. If you use Giant Inflatable Lawn Decorations, you are, by definition, tacky and white trash. Now you know. This also holds true for giant inflatable snow globes, nativities, motorized reindeer, or those really heinous plywood cutouts of silhouettes or ladies bending over in the garden showing their underpants.

(By the way, don’t do a search for "Lady Bending over in a garden" in Google unless you’ve got SafeSearch turned on. Just trust me.)

Aside 2: White-trashy decorations are bad enough, but can someone please tell me why it’s okay for us to put up Halloween decorations in the workplace at all. Sure, it’s okay if you decorate the brand new building in Nuevo-redneck decor to celebrate an opportunity to dress like a ~~sexy witch~~ prostitute, but, by company policy you can’t put up any decorations in December to celebrate a holiday that promotes Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Men…both of which were apparently acquired by Google at the end of 2004. That offends my sensibilities. Not in the self-righteous religious way, but in the "Why can’t you decorate for a holiday that has a less horrendous color scheme" sort of way. Orange totally makes me look pasty.

Besides, everyone knows that, after the age of 12, October 31st is good for one thing, and one thing only: going to your local superstore (Target, Fred Meyer, etc.) and looking at the Christmas decorations. Because starting on November 1st, it is the patriotic duty of every red-blooded American man and woman to deck the friggin’ halls already.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get a dead hooker out of my trunk so I can go get my new Christmas Tree tomorrow.

A Little Work Gratitude

Gratitude, Work 1 Response »

Oct 162009

I don’t really know what it was about this last week at work, but it lasted a year. It was a rough week. It didn’t require exceptionally long hours, but the nature of work was just mentally exhausting. Being more of an operational team rather than a software or project-based team, it can get rather discouraging, because you never get to be "done" with a task. The train has to keep rolling, and our team is the one shoveling the coal. So, as soon as we get to the bottom of one coal car, there’s another one right behind it.

That’s not really the way I work. I tend to be far more project-based in my personality. I really miss having that sense of accomplishment after something is done and I’m able to look back on it with a little bit of pride and feel like I made a contribution.

But, as frustrated, and exhausted, and angry as I have been over certain aspects of what I’ve been doing lately at work, I really feel as though I need to take a step back and express a little gratitude for my job. You know, to put things into perspective a bit.

The Workspace

When I first started on this team two years ago (it was two years ago September 12th, even though, for some unknown reason, my boss thinks it wasn’t until October 22nd) we were working in the "Microsoft Studios" building. There were five of us crammed into a room that had originally been the room for the copy machine, and was far too small for five people. It wasn’t the best work environment. Then, about a year later, we moved into Building 87. (The local Microsoft Workforce is approximately 7 times larger than that of the town in which I grew up…right around 70,000 people. There are well over 100 different buildings on the local campus). Building 87 was cubicle hell. It was a massive warehouse that had been retrofitted into an entire rolling landscape of cubicles. It was, perhaps, my least favorite place I ever worked. Then, this spring, we moved into a brand new mini-campus built especially for the Entertainment and Devices division: Studios West. We’re in Studio C. One of the best things about the design of this building is that it merges cubicles with a much more private office feeling. This is my workspace

The entire wall behind me is of west-facing windows, which look out onto a nicely manicured planting bed, a rolling lawn, and an artificial turn soccer field. (Computer Nerds + Soccer = Hilarious Lunchtime Hijinx). Having a full window, allows me to have lots of greenery, which is excellent, because it helps me remember that working in corporate America doesn’t automatically smother all life.

Also on my wall of windows is my really cool fountain

Which just makes me happy. (To be honest, I’ve gotten more compliments on my fountain than I have on my work…not sure if that’s a comment on the quality of my work, or the overwhelming coolness of the fountain.)

Another thing which makes me happy: Multiple Monitors.

Those would be three 24" widescreen monitors. Also note the USB Powered Orange Siren Lights, which never get used. Yes, there is an Easy Button (circled in red), and yes, I do appreciate the irony of working at Microsoft and having an iPhone on my desk. I just wish I appreciated the iPhone. The phone itself is okay, but man is AT&T service atrocious.

I also have a few decorations which really make me feel as though I’m at home:

Yes, those are Muppet stuffed animals. I have Fozzie, Gonzo, Kermit, and an Animal Antenna Ball (which I can’t use on my car because my car doesn’t have an Antenna). I got them when I went to Disneyland to see the Muppet 3-D adventure, thus finishing my quest to see all of the Muppet movies created by Jim Henson while he was still alive. Also pictured is the butt of my Jibber Jabber doll that I bought with Jamelah one weekend when we went to Toys ‘R Us at Paka Plaza (later renamed Jackson Crossing). For those who don’t know, the Jibber Jabber is a doll with a very long neck that you can use to practice your shaken baby syndrome skills. And best of all, the head has these special velocity sensitive noisemakers that make the doll sound like you’re strangling him. I’m not sure why Ertl, the company than manufactured them, thought that this was a toy appropriate for children, but I’m glad they did, because the Jibber Jabber doll has made made me happy for nearly 15 years.

And then, perhaps my favorite desk decor is a gift I was given by one of my providers for Christmas two years ago:

Waiter Mickey sits on the corner of my desk, sharing my message of peace, joy, and love to the world (and everyone who comes to my desk hoping I’ll solve their problems). I used to put mini candy bars on Mickey’s platter, but then I realized that a) I didn’t want to spend my money helping me and my teammates get even fatter than we already are and b) I don’t actually want people coming by my desk all day long. So I did the next best thing.

All things considered, when it comes to office workspaces, I’ve got it pretty good. True, I can’t close my office door and block out the world, but honestly, if I did have an office door, I wouldn’t be able to close it anyway, because I spent 90% of my day answering questions and fixing bugs and the like, so people would be coming in and out all day long anyway.

The Money

If I am being completely honest, I think I can honestly say that I’m not doing work that I’m passionate about. There are many days where I wake up wishing I didn’t have to go to work. But that idea that you’ll find that one job where you wake up every day excited to get to work, and where you just love absolutely every minute of what you’re doing…yeah, I think we can mark that one off of the to-do list as being completely unrealistic. And, when it comes to my job…the money’s pretty darn good. I’m not a Microsoft Employee. (Getting a full-time position at Microsoft is about as hard getting rid of Tracy on the Biggest Loser.) I don’t get much paid vacation, and I don’t get to go to the company store and get cheap gadgets, and I don’t get health insurance, but the money is pretty darn good. It’s nice, for the first time, to be able to buy the things I want without having to put them on a credit card…most of the time.

The People

My team is fun. It’s 40 people between the ages of 20 and 41, most of them pretty smart, funny, talented, and sarcastic. In addition, we have developed a team-wide irreverence which allows us to operate in a, shall we say, somewhat less than formal business environment. Tempers flare, people get frustrated, but overall, it’s a good group.

The Location

Redmond, Washington is a beautiful place, and the many campuses are well maintained, lush, green, and very pretty. But the best part my office is that it’s a five minute drive from the parking garage (the worlds largest underground parking garage, BTW) to my beautiful lakeside apartment. This means I get to go home every day and eat my dinner leftovers from the night before while I watch HGTV (motto: All ur Masculinity R Belong to US) and play with my puppy. I even get to take the occasional nap, which I often have to do because I can’t sleep at night time. It also allows me the luxury of sleeping in more in the morning. I can wake up 45 minutes before I have to be at the office, and still have time to shower, walk the dog, eat, and brush my teeth before walking about the door.

The Flexibility

I was able to work full time while doing school in the evenings for two years, resulting in the arrival of this:

It just came in the mail Tuesday with a copy of the official transcript. 4.0 GPA BABY! While I was in school, my boss and my co-workers listened to me whine about it endlessly, but also provided me with the flexibility to get this degree completed. (I just wish the company could have paid for it :). These student loans are probably going to last longer than my real teeth.)

Conclusion

So, as much as I complain about my job–and let’s be honest, I do–it could be a whole lot worse. I could be making $7.75 an hour with no paid vacation, working with people I hate, doing something that makes me question my reason for living, spending 3 hours a day in commuter traffic, sitting in a dark, windowless room in a dark and dreary cubicle, and being chained to my desk ~~while a large man in a loincloth beats monotonously on a giant drum at the head of the ship~~. Now if we can just get past this launch so I can get my weekends back. Because as nice as my office is…I don’t want to be there any more than I have to be.

Fall Can Fill You Up the Most

Food, Ramblings, Work No Responses »

Oct 142009

For the last several days, I’ve spent a great majority of my time ~~wallowing in the schizophrenic ramblings of a crack-head nineteenth century nutcase~~ working on the audiobook version of Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. So, I’m spending all day in front of my computer at work, then I come home and sit in front of a computer for another 4-5 hours cutting out breath noises and listening (and re-listening) to the horrifyingly manic randomness of Wonderland. As a result, I haven’t been able to spend anywhere near as much time on writing blog entries as I would like…and considering how I left things previously, there’s a lot about which I’d like to write.

With summer officially banished from the great Northwest, I’m thoroughly enjoying the onset of Autumn, which everyone knows is, without question, the best of the four seasons. It’s Gladys Knight to the Spring, Summer, and (mildly retarded) winter Pips. The leaves are starting to change colors. The air gets that light, sweet, heady perfume of wet leaves and moss. There’s a slight crispness to the evenings and early mornings. And, of course, the best part of Autumn: the food.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love me some food regardless of what time of year it is. (Hell, as the mounds of fast-food bags and empty paper cups in the passenger seat of my car can attest, it can barely classify as food, and I’ll eat it with gusto and pleasure…I’m talking to you Taco Time’s Chicken Baja Tacos.) But this time of year, I can eat fresh, organic, honest food, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. The gardens are surrendering the last of their bounty, the peaches are just winding down, the apples just coming into their own.

Oh, the APPLES! Apples are, as a stand-alone fruit, simply orgasmic. I’m not talking about those mealy, nasty, gross apples you get at the grocery store in mid-February. The ones with an airbrushed perfect skin, shiny wax coating, and the internal fiber of Glen Beck and Amy Winehouse on a PCP bender together. (Use your imaginations if you dare). I’m talking about the farmer’s market, u-pick, perfectly imperfect apples. The ones with the dusty covering of fruit bloom, the firmness of Chris Evans’ abs, and a sweet, epic, glorious flavor that’s part acid, part sugar, and part angel tears.

Of course, as good as apples are, they are only enhanced by some minor additions, some of which I have been so kind as to photograph for your edification:

When it’s the middle of March and I’m ~~ready to slit my wrists and bleed out in the middle of the interstate completely naked because of the six straight months of rain~~ feeling a little down, this is the plate of which I dream…my happy place if you will. When I’ve reached my wit’s end at work due to the epic mountains of ludicrous CYA corporate bureaucracy, I dream of this. One large Honeycrisp Apple sliced, and dipped into T. Marzetti’s Caramel Dip. If there is a better food in the world (except Fleur de Sel Caramel Ice Cream), I defy you to name it. For the next two months, this will be my breakfast, snack, and post-dinner palette cleanser.

Of course, apples aren’t just the main course. They can make a wonderful garnish as well.

(By the way, don’t I have the cutest plates? Thanks mom & dad!)

These are mammoth homemade buckwheat pancakes smothered with a sauce of fresh Gala Apples peeled, sliced, and sautéed in butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar until al dente. Of course, because I have yet to figure out the whole portion control thing, I made a batch of pancakes meant for four people, and then ate 3/4th of it all by myself…then didn’t eat again for another 12 hours.

So, for those of you keeping track, my life for the last weeks have consisted of 18+ hours a day in front of the computer, with occasionally forays to shovel apples, caramel, carb cakes, and occasionally Fleur de Sel Ice Cream down my gullet. In other words, I’m bringing sexy back.

But it’s still better than eating mushrooms…

Alice in Wonderland Coverpage

Alice in Whacked-Out Wonderland

Audiobooks, Rants, Work 3 Responses »

Oct 122009

Have you ever read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll? I’m not talking about watching the Disney Movie (which is, in and of itself very disturbing). I’m not even talking about the 1985 made for TV version of Alice in Wonderland where we are treated to this tremeondously horrifying song and dance routine by Sammy Davis Caterpiller Jr.

I happen to be working on the audiobook version of Carroll’s novel, and I just have to say this: the man was obviously high when we wrote this book. It. Is. NOT. Okay.

That is all.

Older Entries Newer Entries

First Day at a new Job

What a Trip

Movin’ On Up

Weight Loss, the stream-of-consciousness version

OJ, Money, and Sleeping: A Week In Review

Losing My Voice

Halloween: I don’t get it.

A Little Work Gratitude

Fall Can Fill You Up the Most

Alice in Whacked-Out Wonderland

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