20120118-IMG_426020120118-IMG_426420120118-IMG_428420120118-IMG_428720120118-IMG_429720120118-IMG_426720120118-IMG_425920120118-IMG_423920120118-IMG_428920120118-IMG_427520120118-IMG_424620120118-IMG_429820120118-IMG_430020120107-IMG_423820120107-IMG_4235

The last week has been interesting here in the great PNW.  This is an area that is not particularly well know for massive snow falls.  In fact, it is not uncommon to not have any snow at all during the winter.  Or at least that’s what I’m told.  Of the last five winters I have spent here, three of them have had fairly significant snowfall at least once.  In any case, about a week ago, we started hearing whispers of a mammoth winter snowstorm that would be barreling down upon us.  Soon it was all that folks could talk about.  This last Saturday, I was out in the car, and it began to snow, and it snowed hard and fast for a good while.  By the time I had gotten home from my trip, there was about an inch of snow on the ground.  Folks began to get excited.

Of course, as is often the case around here, snow doesn’t last that long.  By Sunday afternoon, all the snow had melted.  There were spits of flakes now and again, but nothing major.  But, the meteorologists told us, the big one is coming.  At work on Monday, folks began making plan for what we would do for the BIG ONE that came on Monday night.  Schools were cancelled for Tuesday morning in anticipation.  It was all that anybody was talking about.  The evening news spent 45 minutes of its 60-minute broadcast talking about snow and how bad it was going to be.

But when Tuesday morning came, I looked out the window and saw green grass.  There had been no snow overnight. At least not where I lived.  So, I went into work, a little disappointed.  I know better than to buy into that whole “excited about snow” thing (it comes from living in Michigan…the novelty wears off quickly). Nevertheless, I found myself buying into the excitement.  SNOW DAY!  So, it made working on Tuesday all the more difficult, since I had been expected not to have to go.

Tuesday night, after some more flurries here and there, the news folks were still warning about the horrendous snow storm we would be getting.  Again, the news spent 45 minutes of their hour-long broadcast talking about the snow we would be getting tomorrow.  Again, schools and businesses were announcing closures in anticipation.  And again, by the time I went to bed at midnight, the ground was still green.

Fortunately, this morning when I woke up, it was white.  We had gotten about 2 inches of snow where I live and got probably another two inches throughout the day.  A bit less than the 12-18” that had been estimated, but when it comes to snow, I’ve learned that everyone here exaggerates.  I chose to work from home because, hey, everyone else is, so why not.  I probably could have come into the office, but since nobody else was there, why bother?

Luke the Dog™ loves the snow.  That is, I believe, proof that dogs are, in fact, of significantly lower intelligence than humans.  Humans know better.  Most of them anyway. Most humans stay at home in front of a fire with a mug of hot chocolate, wrapped up in a soft blanket, and read a book.  Or watch movies. Or play video games. Or bake four dozen pretzel rolls on a whim.  There are a few mentally challenged individuals, most of the men, who think that being outside in the snow is fun. Some of them even find frozen lakes, cut a hole in them, and sit around for hours like dumb-asses trying to pull frozen fish out of the water. This is, of course, the definition of stupidity.

Had it been up to me, there would have been no outside time at all.  Snow is fine through a window. But my deep-seeded dislike of snow was overridden by my even more deeply-seeded dislike of cleaning up dog poop from a shag rug. (They never go on the laminate…always the rugs).  So we went outside a few times.  During our lunchtime outing, we met up with some of Luke’s friends: Merlin the Dachshund, Gordon the St. Bernard, Peanut the Chihuahua, and Roxy the Rat Terrier.  If dogs had the equivalent of a late night house party while your parents are out of town in a bid to become the most popular kid in school, it would be playing in the snow.  Watching them play together almost made the fact that I was voluntarily standing out in the snow freezing my Rastafarian nay-nays off seem not insane. Almost.

And, best of all, by the end of the day he was so pooped from all his romping in the snow that I found him sprawled out on my bed, spread eagle, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and snoring…not unlike a trashy prostitute I…um…knew.  Yeah.  That’s it…

In any case, chances are I’ll have to go back into the office tomorrow for work because I won’t be able to justify staying home.  The snow is supposed to have stopped, and it should begin warming up tomorrow and raining, which will melt the remaining snow quite quickly. It’s all for the best, I suppose.  I’d rather do my work at work and my home stuff and home anyway.  But I may take the dog into the office with me tomorrow just so I don’t have to drive home to take him out at lunchtime.

So there you have it. The annual Seattle Snow™. May it not happen again until 2013.

 

This year’s Christmas was a little more special than usual, because I got to meet my first nephew.  His name is Charlie (Charles), and he was born on the morning of the 28th, at a whopping 9 pounds, 11 ounces.  (His older sister was 10 pounds, 13 ounces when she was born.)  The plan was to have a natural childbirth this time around, but unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way.  He was too big, and up until a few days before the surgery, he was butt down.  It also turned out that he ended up having the cord wrapped around his neck twice, so it was probably for the best that the natural birth wasn’t ever attempted.

Both mom and baby are doing well, although he’s dealing with a bit of jaundice right now.  But they're both home from the hospital, and now the fun times begin. :)

20111228-IMG_4188-Edit20111228-IMG_420520111228-IMG_419020111228-IMG_4217-Edit20111228-IMG_4207-Edit20111228-IMG_417720111228-IMG_4194-Edit20111228-IMG_419220111228-IMG_4212-Edit

Welcome to the world, Charlie.  I’ve already decided that I’m going to send you your birthday presents on your half-birthday, so they don’t get lost in the Christmas rush.  That is, of course, if I get approval from your mom…who I would never dare oppose in matters such as this.

 

Le Sigh. I love Holidays.  Not fake holidays, like Halloween or Valentine’s day, where you still have to go to work.  No, I love real holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and the 4th of July when you don’t have to go to work.  In terms of work, though the greatest of these is Thanksgiving.  Because every year, Thanksgiving comes with a 4-day weekend, which are seriously the best. 

This year for Thanksgiving was a little strange, but enjoyable, nonetheless.  I had Thanksgiving dinner with my friend, Melissa and a bunch of people from her Choral Conducting program at the University of Washington.  I had never met any of them before, but they were a fun bunch, the food was good, and I made a particularly stunning caramel apple pie (if I say so myself.)

On Friday, I actually ventured out to the mall to do a bit of shopping, wander around and enjoy the hustle and bustle, and to see a movie for which I’ve been waiting for months.  The mall was packed, which was to be expected, but I got my Bath and Body Works pine-scented candles (my yearly tradition), my Auntie Anne’s pretzel with caramel sauce, and I got to see The Muppets.

The Muppets was fantastic.  It’s the best Muppet movie since Jim Henson passed away.  The voices are a little “off,” which is to be expected since Jim Henson and Richard Hunt passed away, and Frank Oz doesn’t want anything to do with the Muppets anymore.  (For shame, Frank.  For shame.)  But it captures the spirit of the Muppets so thoroughly and completely.  The music is ludicrously catchy. And I am not ashamed to admit it:  When they recreate the opening to the Muppet Show with all of the original puppets, I got a little choked up. It was a brilliant, heartfelt, un-ironic, funny, charming, uplifting movie from beginning to end.  Grade: A.

Also on Friday, I ended up cooking the 20 lb. turkey that I purchased but that I didn’t make for Thanksgiving.  It was quite yummy. And I will be eating it for the next two weeks.  Because a 20 pound turkey for a single person and a couple of ravenous dogs can go quite a long way.  I’ve got another day or two of turkey sandwiches in me, then I’m going to make a big pot of turkey noodle soup.

Saturday consisted of two things: Assassin’s Creed: Revolutions and Arthur Christmas.  The first is a video game that I’ve had for a couple of weeks but haven’t been able to play very much.  The second is the new animated movie that came out.  Arthur Christmas is another really delightful little Christmas movie.  It was done by Aardman Animation (the same studio that brought you Chicken Run and Wallace and Grommit).  The computer animation is fantastic, the story is perfect for getting into the Holiday spirit, and Bill Nighy’s portrayal of Grandsanta was hysterical.  Really fun movie, and it will get put into my Holiday movie rotation.  Grade: B+

Today, the majority of the day was spent on Assassin’s Creed.  And I’m dreading having to return to work tomorrow.  Christmas feels so very far away right now.

However, the real excitement in my life over the last nearly two weeks has been the (temporary) addition of a new member of my family: Jasper the Dog.

Jasper’s owner watched Luke for me a couple of months ago when I drove down to Utah to visit in September, so I owed her a favor, and offered to watch Jasper for her while he was out of town.  Jasper is a 1.5 years old, and is some sort of Terrier/Chihuahua Mix.  He’s very affectionate, wicked smart, and has been a holy terror for the last week and a half that he’s been at my place.  He was rescued about two months ago, and has a few abandonment issues.  It started out with he and Luke the Dog™ not getting alone very well.  Well, to be more accurate, he was afraid of Luke and would snap at him if Luke got too close.  Luke was fine with Jasper.  Eventually, they got over it, and now they’re good friends, and like playing together.

20111121_074817Jasper is a very demanding dog, though.  He gets jealous easily.  If I wanted to pet Luke, Jasper would get in between Luke and I.  If I sat down anywhere, Jasper climbs on top of me, whether I want him to or not.  He demands to be picked up all the time, which I will only do when I want to.  And, for the five or six days he was here, he was afraid of everything and everyone.  He would walk very timidly behind me when we were out walking, and Luke would walk in front of me, pulling, so I ended up looking like a drunk showgirl trying to do a sideways showgirl walk with a broken high heel. 

The bigger problems, though, were Jasper’s attitude.  Jasper peed or pooped in my apartment 12 times in 7 days.  He chewed through both Luke’s leash and his own leash.  He ripped a hole in my bedspread.  He climbed up on the table and shredded one of my bamboo placemats.  He would go into my closet, grab my socks out of the hamper, and carry them all over the apartment.  I eventually had to crate him whenever I left the apartment for more than about 5 minutes.

As I mentioned, he’s very, very smart.  When properly motivated, he would pick up obedience commands in a matter of seconds.  But he’s uber-stubborn.  When he wants something, he will completely disregard you.  I don’t allow my dog in the kitchen when I’m cooking, and Jasper would sit at the entry to the kitchen until I turned my back for one second, and then he’d run in and try to get into the garbage, or jump up and get something off of the counter.

Despite all of that, though, Jasper is a real sweetie.  He obviously loves being around people once he trusts them.  He loves to cuddle in a way that Luke never did.  He actually likes sleeping under the covers of the bed, which was really nice on those cold nights.  He was like a furry hot water bottle.  Except for the time he decided he needed to warm up his nose by sticking it down my butt crack at 3AM.  I tell you what: if you are the kind of person who has a hard time getting up in the morning, you should invent an alarm clock that will simulate a cold, wet dog nose in your butt crack.  That will wake you right up.

In the last week, he’s really come out of his shell, playing with other dogs in the complex, interacting with all of the office staff and regulars.  He does a better job of playing fetch than does my Golden Retriever.  And, like Luke, he eats like a fiend.  But getting any work done with him around is very difficult.  He’s like most of the MDT people I knew in college: he insists on being the center of attention all the time, and if he’s not, he’ll pee on your bed. Again.

So, Jasper goes back home tomorrow, and I will get to finish the sewing project I’ve been working on, and Luke can go back to sleeping on the bed without worrying about getting kicked off by a dog 1/10th his size.  It’ll be weird only having one dog in the house again.  But, I do think that this cured me of the craving I’ve been having to get another puppy anytime in the near future. One dog is enough for me for now.

Well, I hope all of my reader(s) had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and you’re all giving your Pandora Christmas Music stations a workout.  Speaking of, if you need an expertly chosen Christmas music station, you can find my Christmas music station here: http://www.pandora.com/#!/stations/edit/341352601847510870

 

Wouldn’t it have been awesome if it was 2008 and I could have titled this blog post The Great Redecorate of 2008?  Alas, I was three years late to the party.  In my own head.

Anyway, as usual, I eschewed relaxing this weekend in favor of being wildly productive.  Thus far this weekend I have:

  • Sewn a sweatshirt
  • Made a pineapple upside-down cake
  • Consumed the entirety of said pineapple upside-down cake
  • Recorded 75% of a new audiobook in one day
  • Ran royalty reports for audiobook sales
  • Did quarterly sales tax returns
  • Painted my living room
  • Walked Luke the Dog™ twelve times
  • Tried a new pizza place and two new burger places (Mega yum on all three)
  • Four loads of dishes
  • Seven loads of laundry

And yet, somehow, in the midst of all that, I still managed to take a minimum of two naps a day for the last three days in a row.  See, America.  Do you see how productive we would all be if we could adopt the siesta as a standard operating procedure here in the US?

In any case, the biggest project, painting my living room, was a major pain in the butt, and I’m not altogether sure that I like the resulting color.  But it’s painted now, and I won’t be touching it again until after Christmas, at which point I will probably try to repaint the living room one more time to get the color I actually want in there.

In the meantime, though, here are some shots of the recently reassembled living room:

20111030-IMG_4125_6_7

Things I particularly like: The new curtains, the way that the dark furniture stands out from the wall, and that awesome wishbone lamp on the table which I commandeered from my bedroom.  (My bedroom now has all the old, less awesome lamps, since it hasn’t been redecorated yet.  And here’s the head-on view:20111030-IMG_4120_1_2

The back wall on the left still needs some artwork of some kind, but that will have to wait until a) I am done paying nearly $1000 to board Luke for Christmas and b) the Christmas decorations come down.

It’s just too bad that I have to go back to work tomorrow, or I could get so much more done!

 

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I just went on a little trip.  Like I do about twice a year, I pack up my Xbox and a few clothes, hop in the car, and drive myself down to Utah to visit with the family.  This year was a pretty quick trip.  I spent all day on Saturday in the car, was in Utah for Sunday through Wednesday, and then spent all day Thursday in the car driving home.  It’s about a 13-hour drive.  It’s actually not too bad—except for driving through Idaho, which is awful. 

Most of Idaho, especially the part through which I-84 slices, is pretty darn ugly.  (Apologies to family who lives there…my heart goes out to you.)  I did however, find a slightly less ugly view at, of all places, a freeway rest stop.

 

See that’s not quite so bad.  Of course, you can put a river almost anywhere and it will improve the scenery drastically.  Idaho in the winter is the worst, though.  It’s like driving through Hoth.

attack-on-hoth

Only without the mechanized shooty things.  (I have only seen Star Wars once, and I didn’t like it that much, so I’m not that well-versed on the correct terminology.)

In any case, this trip was nice and uneventful.  Sunday, my sister, her husband, and my adorable niece, Aubrey, came up to my parents’ house for a visit and a huge, early Labor day barbeque.  We sat around on the patio in the back and played with Stella the dog while Aubrey the niece played in the kiddie pool.

20110904-IMG_394120110904-IMG_395020110904-IMG_3946

Seriously.  Isn’t she about the cutest thing ever?  Those eyes should be illegal.

Monday—Labor Day—was spent on my Uncle and Aunt’s boat up at Pine View Reservoir.

20110905-IMG_3960_1_220110905-IMG_396720110905-IMG_397820110905-IMG_3972_3_4-Edit-2-Edit

It wasn’t as sunny as we would have liked, but what can you do.  In fact, aside from Sunday, it was cloudy and overcast pretty much the whole time I was down in Utah.  It’s like mother nature decided to deprive me of any nice weather all year long this year, like she’s punishing me or something.  She’s such a vicious trollop.  I mean, I drive a fuel-efficient car.  I recycle.  I don’t clear-cut Brazillian rain forests.  She could ease up on me a little.

You know what, just for that, I’m going to go buy the biggest Hummer I can find.  If you want global warming, I’ll give you global warming.  Bring it on, Mother Nature.  I will take you down.

Anyway, Tuesday, I made peach jam with the peaches from the tree in my parents’ back yard.  The tree is only two years old, so they had to trim off most of the fruit this year (about 95%) to keep the tree from getting over-burdened before it’s strong enough.  Even still, they had about five dozen peaches that all got ripe at about the same time…which just happened to correspond with my arrival in Utah.  So I made peach jam with a few of the peaches, and it’s chillin’ in my freezer.  Note to self: make waffles soon.

One of the other main reasons that I decided to go down to Utah for my vacation time was to see my friend Nicole perform in a musical called “Drowsy Chaperone.”  Nicole is a classmate of mine from the MDT program at BYU, and is one of the most ludicrously talented people I know.  She was also my partner in Choreographic Styles when we sort of killed it.  It was also directed by my not-so-secret artistic crush, Dave Tinney.  My sis was able to come along, so I drove down to Daybreak to pick her up and take some more pictures of my stinkin’ cute niece:

20110906-IMG_399520110906-IMG_400320110906-IMG_401620110906-IMG_402020110906-IMG_4011-Edit

Then sis and I drove down to Orem, were disappointed to discover that Lon’s BBQ had gone out of business, went to Burger Supreme for old times’ sake (at which I was disappointed to discover it wasn’t as good as I remember it being…especially the onion rings.  Blargh), and ended up at the Hale Center Theater in Orem.  The show was great, it was great to see several of my old theater friends and one of my former students (who is teaching himself now too!) and spend some time with my sister.

Wednesday, I got myself some Utah Scones at the Star Café in Clearfield, did laundry, shopped for some snacks for the road trip, and made a nummy dinner with the tomatoes and zucchini from my parents’ garden.  And through it all, we played a lot of games on the Kinect.  Tell you what…if my mom could spend a bit of time getting used to playing Dance Central, she could be a major threat.

So, it was a nice trip.  It was great to see everyone, but it was also nice to get back into town and get back to my dog.  He stayed with a co-worker of mine for the week I was gone, and quite frankly, he doesn’t seem all that thrilled to have me back.  He’s been pouting and disobedient ever since I got back.  I just think he got used to having another dog in the house since my co-worker has a very sweet Sheltie named Charlie.  I think Luke wants a brother.

And, to top it all off, I found four zucchini like this when I got back:

20110909-IMG_4022

I was only gone for six days, and when I left, I didn’t have a single Zucchini on either of my plants.  In six days, I had four of these get pollinated and grow to roughly the size of a Northern Pike.  I also got a dozen ears of corn, a dozen carrots, a couple of bags of radishes, and two gallons of lettuce.  And my tomatoes STILL aren’t ripe.  Well, at least we’ll have another week of sunny, warm weather.  But this is getting ridiculous.

And, fortunately, I’ve got two more full days of weekend before I have to go back to work on Monday. I do love vacations.

 

So, I was totally called out in a text message today for not writing a new blog post in over two weeks.  It’s true.  I’m guilty. I have a mind-numbingly boring life, and didn’t really have anything to post. Until now!

I took last Friday, Monday, and today off of work, so I could have an extended little staycation, staycation being the word for what you do when you need to take some time off work, but don’t have any money or friends to go anywhere with. (And yes, I’m fully aware that I just ended that sentence with a preposition.  Deal.)

Anyway, the staycation started with my annual pilgrimage to the Skagit (pronounced skae-JIT) Valley Tulip festival.  I went with my old friend Mukluk, who is up here in the choral conducting program at UofW.  Unfortunately, due to the cold, wet weather we’ve been having this “spring,” most of the fields weren’t in bloom.  We did find a few in bloom, though.

IMG_3561Clearing the Tulip FieldsIMG_3589IMG_3536IMG_3603

On the way out of Tulip Town, we happened across this little sign, tucked away in a flower bed near the entrance to the pavilion.

IMG_3609

<rant>

Okay, really?  First of all, I saw your “Hispanic” crew out in the fields while I was there.  And there were more than a few Asians in that crew.  Secondly, WHO CARES if they are Hispanic?  Why call it out?  You have a crew who works hard.  It doesn’t matter if they’re Hispanic, Asian, or Swahili.  People are people, regardless of the land of their original birth, so don’t make a big deal out of it.  You want to know why people of different races are still struggling with racism?  Because we KEEP making a big deal about what race they are.  Stop calling attention to it, and maybe people will eventually stop noticing quite so much.  I’m just sayin’.

</rant>

Afterwards, we drove into Mount Vernon and, after much swearing and gnashing of teeth, managed to creep our way through beastly traffic in order to find a parking space.  Then we went down to main street, found a café, and had a thoroughly passable lunch.  And then we got an elephant ear.  And, as is often the case, fried dough with butter and sugar made everything just a little bit better.

***

I have been struggling with a bit of an ingrown toenail for a little over week.  It was only a minor little niggle, and I was soaking it in Epsom salts and trying to pry out the in-grown part.  Well, I woke up on Saturday morning, and it was BAD all of a sudden.  As in it-hurts-to-put-any-weight-on-my-foot bad.  Having had chronic ingrown toenails in the past, I knew that it had very quickly progressed from minor niggle to needing to have it surgically removed.  Unfortunately, it was Saturday, so I couldn’t get into my regular podiatrist.

Fortunately, my next door neighbor is a podiatrist at a local health club for  rich people (seriously…this is one of those health clubs that has a full spa, restaurant, and marble staircases up to the workout rooms or one of the six different pools.)  He agreed to cut out my ingrown toenail for free, which was awesome, since our new “Consumer Driven Health Plan” (more accurately known as the “Screw the consumer, we’re tired of spending money to take care of our employees Health Plan”) at work don’t cover this doctor’s practice. 

While he was numbing and slicing open my toe, he mentioned that he had just written a song a couple of nights ago, and was wondering if I’d be willing to record it for him.  Having been jonesing to do a little bit of recording with someone else, I thought it would be a great idea, so I agreed, and he came over that afternoon to start recording. 

I pulled out my wanna-be serious producer mindset, and we went to “crafting” a fully-produced version of the song that he had written. I’m not as well-versed in contemporary music genres as I am theatre styles or orchestral music, so it was a fun challenge to work with real guitars and try to make something a little more poppy.  We spent about six hours on Saturday, four-five hours on Sunday, and a couple of hours on Monday getting it all worked out.  All in all, I’m pretty pleased with the way it turned out.

Honesty’s For Fools

Written by Clay Johnson
Produced by Matt Armstrong / Clay Johnson
Engineered by Matt Armstrong
Guitars, Bass by Clay Johnson
Piano, Organ, Sampling by Matt Armstrong
Vocals by Clay Johnson
Background Vocals by Clay Johnson and Matt Armstrong

Coming up: The Staycation, Part 2 – Redefining gluttony.

 

 

Luke the dog is having a rough day.

Starting right about the time I moved to Seattle in 2007, Luke started getting chronic ear infections.  Normally, I just clean out his ears every couple of weeks, and that’s good enough.  (He HATES getting his ears cleaned, by the way.)  But this time, not so much.  One ear is fine, the other is quite seriously infected.

Luke also has really bad skin allergies.  That usually kick in right about this time of year, and plague him all summer.  He gets a bad, itchy rash on his stomach, then he chews on his skin, rips out big chunks of fur.  Then the wounds from ripping out his fur get infected.  This year, he’s got the worst case I’ve ever seen.

Both of these issues re-reared their heads in the last week.  And so Luke the Dog is in a pretty crabby mood at the moment.  So, I scheduled an appointment with a new vet whose office is directly across the street from my office, and I piled Luke into the car this afternoon.  We were going to get the ear infection taken care of, the skin allergies investigated, and while we were erstwhile engaged in the fun, we decided to go ahead with the vaccinations that are three months behind schedule.

It was SO. MUCH. FUN.  Let me tell you.

I walked out of the vet’s office $300 poorer, and with three bottles of pills, a topical spray, ear cleaning solution, an ear-infection ointment, and perhaps the most horrible thing ever invented by mankind (at least in Luke the Dog’s mind) the Cone of Shame

IMG_3473

If I have ever seen my dog look more pathetic, I can’t for the life of me remember it.  Seriously.  I see-saw back and forth between laughing uproariously and feeling bad for him.  But mostly, I’m just laughing uproariously.  Every now and again, he’ll saunter into my studio/office (usually bumping into the doorframe for dramatic effect) and just look at me with these wounded eyes, as though asking how I could torture him so horribly.  At this very moment, he’s leaning against my leg, with his head tucked under the desk and the cone of shame scraping across the bottom of the desk and panting heavily.  He’s not a happy boy.

Hopefully, things will get better shortly.  By Monday I can start giving him his prednisone.  And by then, hopefully he won’t have to wear the cone of shame anymore, because, really.  This is just too pathetic.

 

One of the first things I did when I moved into my apartment in Seattle was to buy an orchid.  I have had house plants of my own since I was about 12 years old when my grandmother bought me a rope plant that I named Gertrude.  Then I bought another house plant that I named Henrietta.  (Apparently, I had this thing with naming my plants after those of my great-grandmother’s era.)    I have always liked orchids, but I’ve always been under the impression that they’re really difficult plants to raise. 

I got my orchid just after the bloom had fallen off, so it was only $2.99.  I only had the picture of the bloom from the little plastic stake in the pot to tell me what it was going to look like.  I could tell that it wasn’t going to be your standard orchid, though, and I liked that.

Well, orchids aren’t hard to raise, per se, but they are pretty difficult to get to bloom.  At least this one was.  It’s been three and a half years, and it’s blooming for the very first time.  And I can’t tell if I think it’s pretty or ugly.  It’s certainly very different.  And, it’s prettier from a distance.  If you get too close, it starts to look a little strange and otherworldly.  I will say that I think it’s fascinating that this flower is from the same family as those white or purple orchids you see all over the place. 

So, below is my orchid, Mabel.  (Gotta stick with the theme.)  Not sure which of the photos I like the best, but I’m leaning toward the first one.  What do you think?

Lady Slipper Orchid 1Lady Slipper Orchid 2IMG_3456IMG_3462

 

Caramel Pecan Sticky Rolls

As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, I recently had a craving for Caramel Pecan sticky rolls, and went to Panera to get one.  But, since it was 8:00 at night, they were all out.  So I decided to visit the Safeway right next door and get the ingredients to make my own. 

They weren’t so good.  The flavor was fine, but the texture was way off.  Very heavy.  So, I decided, as I am wont to do, that it was now my personal mission to make the perfect Caramel Pecan sticky rolls.  I went through a total of three batches (most of which I gave away to the office staff at my apartment complex and my co-workers, I’ll have you know) until I got what I was looking for. 

I was so proud of my creations that I even had to go out and buy some white china plates that I could use to photography my sticky rolls because the green plates that I was using before just didn’t do them justice.  So now, here is the recipe for my Caramel Pecan Sticky Rolls.  Enjoy.

Ingredients

Roll:

  • 3 1/2 – 4 C Flour
  • 1/3 C Sugar
  • 1 t Salt
  • 5 t Active Dry Yeast
  • 1/4 t Baking Soda
  • 1 C Warm Milk (120-130 degrees)
  • 1/3 C Softened Butter
  • 1 Egg

Filling

  • 1/4 C Sugar
  • 1-2 t Cinnamon
  • 2 T Softened Butter

Carmel Topping

  • 1 C Packed Brown Sugar
  • 1/2 C Butter
  • 1/4 C Dark Corn Syrup
  • 1 1/2 – 2 C Pecans

Instructions

1. Add 2 C flour, 1/3 C Sugar, salt, yeast, and baking soda to the bowl of your stand mixer.  Add in milk, 1/3 C butter, and egg.  Using the paddle attachment, mix just until smooth, but don’t overmix.  Add remaining flour (1 1/2 to 2 C) gradually into the mix until dough is easy to handle, but not too dry.

2. Turn the dough out on a floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic.  Add additional flour as necessary to keep the dough from sticking.  Place the dough in a greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap.  Allow to rise for 90 minutes, or until dough is doubled.*

*I found that the absolute best way to deal with fast-rising dough like this is to use steam.  I put the bowl, uncovered in the cold oven, and put the base of my electric steamer filled with water in the oven and well, and would turn it on for 10 minutes every half-hour.  You could accomplish the same thing by using a shallow pan on the bottom rack of your oven which you can fill with boiling water, then place the dough on top of the pan on the top rack.  Replace the water every 30 minutes or so.  This helps keep the dough hydrated and speeds up the rise, which will result in a lighter, more delicate roll.

3.  While the dough is rising, Mix Brown Sugar, Corn Syrup, and 1/2 C butter in a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Once thoroughly combined, pour into the bottom of an ungreased 9×13” pan.  I prefer glass in this case.  Sprinkle pecan halves over the caramel in a single layer.  Caramel should be pretty much covered by pecans. Set aside

4. Turn out the risen dough onto a floured surface and roll out to a rectangle shape approximately 10×15”.  Using your hands cover the dough with 2T of softened butter.  Then sprinkle on cinnamon and sugar.  Roll up along the long side of the dough to form a “snake” about 15” long.  Using a very sharp knife, but the snake into 12 pieces.  Place those pieces on top of the caramel pecan mixture, allowing a little bit of room for a second rise.

5. Allow the rolls to rise another 30-45 minutes.  (I use the steam trick again for the first 30 minutes, then pull out for 15 while the oven preheats.)  Preheat over to 350 degrees.  Bake for 25-27 minutes or until the “top” of the rolls are golden brown and the centers are done, but just barely.

6.  While still hot, run a knife around the outside edge of the pan to loosen any rolls that may have stuck to the edges of the pan.  Then, place a greased cookie sheet upside-down on top of the rolls, then flip the sheet and the 9X13 pan upside down. Make sure that the rolls have separated from the pan, and then let the pan sit for about a minutes for the caramel mixture to drizzle down over the rolls.  Remove the pan.

7. Gorge yourself silly.

 

It is official.  Mark this date on your calendars.  No, it has nothing to do with being a pseudo-holiday wherein people eat boiled food, get drunk on beer and green food coloring, or go around pinching strangers based on their unfortunate wardrobe choices.  (I mean, do we need a holiday for that?  I like going around and pinching strangers for their unfortunate wardrobe choices pretty much every day.  It’s great fun.)

No, the momentous occasion is not St. Paddy’s day. (Side note: It’s Paddy, not Patty.  Patty is a woman’s name.  Paddy is the Irish nickname for Patrick.) No, March 17, 2011 is the day on which I made the absolutely PERFECT caramel pecan sticky rolls completely from scratch.

IMG_3413

IMG_3410

And once again, I am reminded how desperately I need to buy some white plates on which to do my food photography.  These celery green plates make everything look orange.

The color of my plates not withstanding, these caramel pecan sticky rolls were/are beyond awesome.  And I still have 12 left.  Soon to be 11.  Or possibly 10.  Light, flaky, crusty with caramel in the corners, and then sprinkled ever-so-lightly with sea salt for that salted caramel awesomeness.

Yeah, I think I’m going to have to make these one more time just to be sure.  But only after I go to Kohl’s and buy some new white plates.  And a few pair of larger pants.

© 2012 One Off Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha