Audiobooks » One Off

Hear my newest audiobook: Night of the Long Knives

Dec 062011

My latest audiobook, Night of the Long Knives, by Fritz Leiber, was released yesterday, and is now available for purchase from a couple of different retailers. (I personally prefer Ambling Books myself.) It should be available on iTunes and Audible in the next several weeks.

This is my first sci-fi book, and it was a nice change of pace to read something other than classics for a change. It’s a shorter audiobook, just over 3 hours, but it’s an engaging story.

So, if you’re interested in listening to me read an Audiobook, click here, and go to the Open Book Audio website.

I wrote a theme song–from the 80s!

Audiobooks, Links, Music, Ramblings 2 Responses »

Feb 202010

So, for those of you who don't know, I do a couple of podcasts for my company, Open Book Audio. One podcast is a weekly installment of my recording of "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" by Mark Twain. I release a couple of chapters of the book on a weekly basis. It's a free audiobook!

I also do the fortnightly Open Book Audio podcast with my partner, Andrew, and we talk about audiobooks in general. We also have samples of other audiobooks, giveaways, and an occasional epic rant or two.

You may also remember that one of my resolutions for the year is to get back into writing music more often. I haven't been writing much lately, and wanted to get back into it. Over the last week or so, I've been writing and producing some music that I can use for the intro and outro music for the OBA podcast, and in doing so, I realized something: I've missed my calling in life.

You see, I started trying to write something that was like the theme to NBC Nightly News or the Olympics or something. But as I got going along, i realized that I was being taken on a journey through musical time, back to that magic era where all television shows had immensely awesome theme songs–the 80s and early 90s. (My love of the awesome TV Theme Song has been well documented here.) Before I knew it, I had written an intro theme that was so quintessentially 1989 that I may have squealed with delight…like a big old 'mo at a Barbra Streisand concert. It wasn't want I had set out to write, but it was SO much more awesome. I was BORN to write TV theme songs for 80s and 90s television shows. I was just born about 20 years too late.

So, sit back, grab your slap bracelets, jelly shoes, and hypercolor clothes. I am proud to present, with no further adieu, my piece de resistance, the Theme to the Open Book Audio Podcast. Bask in the 80s!

Open Book Audio Podcast Music

Losing My Voice

Audiobooks, Money, Ramblings, Work 5 Responses »

Dec 012009

It’s been four and a half years since I hung up my tap shoes and walked away from the performing world. Doing so was easier for me than I expected it to be, what with the miserable performing experience I had just gotten through with. Nevertheless, when I "retired’ from performing, I was basically erasing my identity. Ever since that moment on my mission when I got a letter from Tim Threlfall telling me that I had been accepted into the Music Dance Theatre program in college–and even before that, when I joined the ranks of the theatre nerds in high school–I was a performer. I was an actor. I needed to be on stage. I needed the applause. I needed to feel like I was special because I put on costumes and sang and danced for a living.

Walking away from the day-to-day realities of performing wasn’t that hard. I hated rehearsals, the poor pay, the torturously long hours, the low pay, the self-esteem destroying criticism, the constant rejection, and the low pay. But part of me still longs to be the performer, still wants to be the guy singing and dancing on stage and entertaining people. Plus, let’s be honest, I spent tons of money and countless hours honing my craft and teaching it to others. My rejection of the performer’s life means that those skills lay largely dormant in my day-to-day life.

Lately, I’ve really been struggling with my role as a corporate drone. I’ve been in my job for well over two years now, which is the longest I’ve ever held a single job. And certainly, the longest I’ve ever held a full-time job. Actually, this really is my first "official" full-time job. All my other jobs certainly took up more than full-time, but didn’t pay accordingly. I feel, working in a corporate environment, as though I’m losing my voice. Not physically, but metaphorically. Up until my move to Seattle, I’ve been something of a free spirit. I went where the jobs took me. But now, I go to the same place every day. I do the same thing every day. I struggle to find the passion and fire that I used to have over my previous endeavors.

I’ve discussed this in previous blog posts, certainly. It’s not a new feeling, and it does come and go in waves.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve really felt a drive to reclaim my voice a little. Both literally and figuratively. I’ve decided that I’m going to try to start doing some freelance voiceover work. I own an audiobook company, and enjoy doing that deeply. But until that starts paying the bills (remember: audiobooks make a great Christmas present!), I have decided that it’s time to put some of my training to good use in other arenas. I’ve got the setup, some of the training, and a desire. In my world, that’s a recipe for moderate success.

So, I’ve joined a few sites for VO artists. I have recorded several new VO demos. I’m sending out auditions when I get the chance. And I’m enjoying the process. This certainly isn’t a full-time thing (at least, not yet), and my full-time corporate job certainly provides me far more financial stability than would VO work, but I want to feel like I’m reclaiming some of my abandoned and suppressed history and identity. Plus, let’s be honest…VO work can pay really well. I can make as much in 1-1.5 hours of VO work as I would for a whole day’s work at my regular job. And with freelancing in my own studio, I can do both! (Then I wouldn’t feel so guilty about buying that new $1900 camera that I want so desperately.) (Um…I mean…Then I could start building my emergency fund again. Yeah. That’s the ticket.)

If you’d like to hear my new VO demos, just visit http://www.voices.com/demos/DrChumley.

And if you know people who are looking for voiceover talent, forward the link on.

Et Tu, iPhone

Audiobooks, Money, The Technology Whore, Whine No Responses »

Oct 222009

It may come as a massive shock to you, dear readers, that I am something of a technology whore. I work hard for the money…so hard for it honey, I work hard for the money so I can go out and piss it away on technology gadgets that I don’t need, use, or sometimes even want. (Wait…that’s how the song goes, right? Or have I been mis-hearing the lyrics for all these years.) Never is this more true than in the cell-phone realm. I have owned a cell phone for 10 years now. I started off with VoiceStream Wireless, a carrier that was later bought by Deutche Telecomm and turned into T-Mobile, in 1999, the year I got back from my mission. It was part of my post-mission, credit score rape-and-pillage technology binge in which I bought a DVD Player ($400), a VCR ($200), A Computer ($800), a 19" Monitor ($400), a portable DVD player ($600), and a new 27" TV which I only bought because my existing TV didn’t have the proper inputs to allow me hook up my DVD player to get the best possible picture, and which provided me with on my worst (and only) cases of buyer’s remorse. In fact, I felt so bad about buying it, I told everyone that I WON the TV in a drawing at Circuit City for the floor model so they wouldn’t lecture me about spending money so frivolously (LAME!)

This was my first phone. My first plan was only a 60 minute plan because, "I’m only getting this phone so I can be available if my agent calls me at the last minute to come and audition for a job. I need to be reachable at all times. I’ll never use it to place calls until it’s after 7PM and I’m on my free evening and weekend minutes." The price for this plan was $20 a month. (Okay. Stop laughing now.) Three days later, I called up Voicestream and I told them that I needed to up my plan to 600 minutes a month.

Since that time, I have never once made it all the way through my contract before getting rid of my phone and moving on to a new one. Less than two years after I got phone #1, I got #2–a little flip phone so small it was nearly impossible to dial numbers. Then I moved to ~~The Suck Pit of all Human Existence~~ Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, where T-Mobile didn’t get service, and I switched over to Cingular. Then I moved back to Michigan, where Cingular didn’t get service, and I switched back to T-Mobile. But T-Mobile didn’t get service at my parents’ house, so I got Sprint.

Then I moved to Utah, and Sprint screwed me over (and not in the good way) so badly I vowed that I would never rest until I could see the look in the eyes of Sprint’s CEO as I ripped his heart out of his chest with my bare hands and showed it to him while it was still beating. Then I switched to Verizon…for my first foray into the SmartPhone arena.

This thing was a beast, but I convinced myself that the $400 price tag was worth it because, "I need to be able to keep track of my voice lesson schedule."

Then I moved up Seattle, and Ye Old Verizon started dropping calls and/or failing to allow calls through. So I went back to T-Mobile.

Then, a year ago, I did something of which I’m not proud. I bought an iPhone 3g, and in doing so, ~~proved to the world that I do, in fact, suffer from severe brain damage~~ left T-Mobile and switched to AT&T. The iPhone itself is a great piece of technology, especially if you don’t need your phone to place calls, deliver voicemail messages, send and receive text messages, not crash, hold a charge for longer than 52 minutes, or cost less than the price of meals for a family of Ethiopian children for the next seven years. I wanted in on the tech bandwagon, and so I got an iPhone. And it was a love-hate relationship. I loved to hate the phone, and moreover, I really loved to hate AT&T (motto: Why let you phone calls when you will pay us $90 a buck a month for nothing?)

Then, when the Palm Pre came out, I decided that the Sprint CEO had suffered enough, and I decided to go back to Sprint…and I couldn’t have had a better experience. The phone was great, the people were friendly, the pricing plans were so much cheaper than they had been. The only problem was that I didn’t get any reception at all in my house. In fact, my phone was roaming from within the apartment. Not okay. So back the Pre went, and cancelled went the Sprint Plan. Fortunately, I hadn’t ported over my number yet, though. I’d have to suffer through with the iPhone.

Last Sunday, I finally had enough when, for the seventh time in as many hours, I had to shut off my iPhone and turn it back on just to get it to connect to my apartment Wi-Fi. So, I went to the AT&T Store. Unfortunately, the iPhone’s warranty is for one year, and I had owned this particular iPhone for one year and six days. Meaning I was SOL. So I had one of three options

* Cancel my contract, pay $175 and go to another provider where I would have to pay a minimum of $200 for a new phone and sign a new two-year contract

* Suffer with my existing iPhone for another 6 months until I could upgrade for free

* Suck it up and pay $500 for a new Phone that actually, oh, I don’t know…WORKED.

Any guesses as to which one I chose?

That’s right boys and girls, I paid through the nose for a new phone. And what did I get? (Geez, I’m such a sheep).

I got another iPhone. I really don’t like the iPhone all that much, but there just isn’t another phone out there yet that has the flexibility and utility of this stupid piece of overpriced, overdesigned, and really over-hyped equipment. At least this one has more memory, a faster processor, and is blissfully absent the propensity of hanging up on me and/or failing to delivery my voicemails than my old iPhone 3G. (Not that anybody ever calls me unless they want something from me, but, you know…) Also note that I have since loaded a thoroughly mediocre audiobook on my iPhone for listening enjoyment in preparation for my next Open Book Audio Podcast. Oh yeah, didn’t you know? I host a podcast now with my business partner, Andrew. It’s funny, exciting, and trenchant…just like me. Oh, and humble. Don’t forget humble.

Anyway, so yeah, I got an iPhone. And I work at Microsoft. Isn’t that ironic? (Answer: No.) But at least I got it with a snazzy new case:

Now, I just need to see if I can make this phone last long enough that when, in a year and a half from now when I am ready to fire-bomb the AT&T Wireless building that I pass on my way to Dairy Queen and/or Coldstone, I will be able to a) find a better non-iPhone phone and b) not have to pay my early termination fees.

There’s a first time for everything.

Can you hear me now?

Alice in Whacked-Out Wonderland

Audiobooks, Rants, Work 3 Responses »

Oct 122009

Have you ever read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll? I’m not talking about watching the Disney Movie (which is, in and of itself very disturbing). I’m not even talking about the 1985 made for TV version of Alice in Wonderland where we are treated to this tremeondously horrifying song and dance routine by Sammy Davis Caterpiller Jr.

I happen to be working on the audiobook version of Carroll’s novel, and I just have to say this: the man was obviously high when we wrote this book. It. Is. NOT. Okay.

That is all.

Open Book Audio: Tom Sawyer

Audiobooks, Books, Work 3 Responses »

Aug 092009

Well, after a few long months, I’m proud to announce that the company I’ve started with my good friend Andrew, Open Book Audio, has just released its very first product, starring yours truly. I’ve spent the last couple of months in the studio, working on recording The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and as of about 11:30 this evening, it’s now finished. The art is done, the recording is completed, the CD masters have been made, the copyright papers have been filed (so don’t get any ideas), and the new Open Book Audio Store is now open for business.

You can click the “Play” button below to hear the first three chapters of the audiobook.

And now, best of all, you can purchase said audiobook from the new OBA store, found at http://www.openbookaudio.com/store. The store is still having some of the last minute polish put on, and the last few pages filled in, but it is fully functional. You can download the whole 500-minute audiobook as DRM-Free .mp3, chaptered .m4b (iPod Audiobook Format), or a 7-CD set. The whole site is S&H free, secure, and accepts all four major credit cards.

If you’re an audiobook listener, give it a go (and don’t forget to use the promotional code on the front page for a 25% discount on your order.)