Living It Up » One Off

Sympathy Nesting

Oct 282011

My little sister is about seven months pregnant with her second child—a little boy. I have heard it said that as a woman gets close to the end of her pregnancy, she begins nesting: she experiences an almost overwhelming desire to clean, decorate, and fix up the house. I don’t know if that happens with all people, but I do know that in speaking with my sister in the past, she has been doing a bit of nesting lately.

I have too. I don’t know if it’s the weather, or the fact that I just signed a new lease, or a completely overwhelming desire to never see a white wall again for the rest of my life, or perhaps because I’m feeling sympathetic nesting vibes from my sister, but I have been pretty desperate to fix up my apartment and have a much nicer-looking abode.

It started a couple of weeks ago when I signed my lease. My lease was set to expire at the end of November, and I had just discovered that my rent was going to go up by $235 a month, which is a bit out of my price range. Fortunately, I waited about a week, and the rent fell by $110, which is still more than I’d like to pay, but it is within my payable budget. (It just means that I have to save $110 less every month. Boo.) Once I signed the lease, I realized that this would be the start of my third year in the same apartment…something I have never done ever in my life since I moved out of my parent’s house to go to college. I’ve been in Seattle for a little over four and a half years (!), but I’ve lived in three different apartments during that time.

So, now that I knew I was going to be sticking around for a while, I figured it was time to invest a bit in my living space, and make it feel a bit more like a home, and less like a sterile, white-walled monstrosity with really awful cabinets. So, I went to Home Depot, got a bunch of paint chips and a few of those color book fans, and set about picking a color palette. I decided on a dark chocolate brown, a very pale robin’s egg blue, a celery green, and a pale yellow color to help brighten up the space. I went and bought a sample can of each color, put them on the walls, and realized that it looked as though I was trying to decorate a baby boy’s nursery. Way too pastel, way too cutsey, and not at all my style.

So, next I decided I’d start with fabric rather than paint. I went to Joann Fabrics and found this really great fabric for $20 a yard and 40% off. I bought nine yards, and bought the blackout lining as well, and decided to sew my own curtains. The only problem? I don’t own a sewing machine. I borrowed one from some friends only to find out that it was broken. Nobody else I knew in the area owned a sewing machine, so I finally broke down and bought one.

This is the model I eventually ended up going with. Now, I learned to sew when I was about seven or eight years old on my mom’s 50’s-era Singer sewing machine (which, coincidentally, still works and she still has.) It weighs a blue ton, has very few special features, and is all manual. My new sewing machine has 60 some-odd new stitches, a drop-in bobbin, and will thread the needle for me. This may not be very special for people who sew a lot, but it was a revelation for me.

So, having not sewn in something like 15 years, I proceeded to make my curtains. Now granted, curtains are pretty darn easy to sew. It’s just a flat panel of fabric with a liner. It’s not like I went all Schmuel the Tailor on them. (Bonus points to anyone who knows that reference without having to look it up.) And they turned out well.

Then, once I had the curtains up, I was finally able to choose more accurate colors. I started with the safest color (the brown) and the easiest room (the dining room). I spent all of Friday evening last weekend taping and painting the dining room a nice café au lait color. Again, I believe it turned out quite nicely. Especially when I dressed it all up and made it look like someone with class lived in my apartment, instead of someone who cooks pizza rolls on tin foil and then eats it on the floor of the living room because he doesn’t want to get the dishes dirty.

I still need some artwork for the wall to the right of the dining room area, and if I were a bit more adventurous, and had a ton of extra money to spend, I would get a small chandelier to hang in the dining room instead of the single (crappy) pot light that is there, but I don’t want to go to that much effort. So, instead, I brought my brushed nickel teardrop lamps out of the bedroom where they were languishing (since I never spend time in my bedroom) and put them out in the dining room.

Then, I basically spent the rest of the next week (this last week) wishing that I had something else to sew. I couldn’t afford another couple of hundred dollars for fabric to make curtains for the dining room or my bedroom. So I decided I would try my hand at sewing clothing. Now, the last time I tried making clothes was when I was working on the cruise ship back in 2000. I was buying all of my fabric in shops in Denmark or Sweden, and buying all of my patterns there too. And most of the patterns didn’t have any instructions in English. And I couldn’t really ask for advice from the people there. Suffice it to say, the results were less than ideal.

My first apparel project was the green hooded sweatshirt you see me donning in the picture to the left. Yes, in case you are wondering, I did actually take a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror. I know, I know. It’s tacky. Just deal with it. I didn’t want to set up my real camera gear. The fact is that a) I made a piece of clothing from scratch and b) it actually looks fairly well-made and I would be able to wear it out into public. There’s supposed to be a drawstring around the bottom of the sweatshirt, although I haven’t been able to find one in the right color. I suppose it’s all for the best though, because putting a drawstring on the bottom of a sweatshirt doesn’t make any sense to me. It would just make me look like a green pumpkin with legs.

After a harrowing week at work, I also decided that I was going to take a much-needed day off from work to just relax. I lounged around the house for most of the day, then when my cleaning lady came, I went to get a burger for lunch, get my oil changed, and get a sample can of the new green color that I’m going to be painting my living room. This evening, after a dinner of homemade waffles with caramel sauce and sea salt (drool), I pulled out my paintbrush and started putting the color on the wall. I actually like it a lot.

It looks a little more blue in this photo than it does on the wall, but again, this is just a quick snapshot with my phone. I am pretty sure this will be my color. It’s light, and just a shade away from being a neutral green, so it’s not too wild. And it brightens up my dark apartment (especially on cloudy/rainy days) a lot. I’ll let it try overnight, and then I’ll go get the full gallon of it tomorrow, and paint tomorrow night. This room will be quite a bit trickier for a few reasons. First, there’s a butt-ton of electrical equipment in it, so that will have to be dismantled and moved. Meaning that I won’t be able to easily listen to music while I’m working, which may drive me to violence. (I hate doing work like this without music, podcasts, audiobooks, or the TV on in the background.) Second, I have surround sound speakers on the back wall and ceiling and a cable conduit that runs along the entire ceiling. That conduit has to come down, and it’s pretty ugly, so I don’t want to put it back up if I don’t have to. I may need to find another options for my surround sound speakers. (I feel like I need a #FirstWorldProblems hashtag here.) Finally, there will be a LOT of taping in this room. I hate taping a cutting in. My least favorite part of painting.

Next, I have picked out the color for the kitchen, but I haven’t convinced myself that I really want to paint the kitchen anyway. There isn’t a lot of paintable space, but I’m not really in the mood to move or paint around all those appliances. After that, I have to take a break until after the first of the year. I need to get all this done soon because with Halloween upon us, it’s almost time for me to start decorating for Christmas. Also, my savings account needs a breather to recover. I haven’t spent a TON of money on my new nesting habit (maybe $500 total), but I’m on a very tight budget these days, and I hate to dip into my savings account for something that’s not a necessity. I spend most of my time in these rooms anyway.

I’m not sure why the nesting bug hit me so hard and so quickly, but I really hope that nobody else I know is planning on getting pregnant anytime soon.

Why I Hate Halloween, 2011 Edition

Angry Matt, Health, Holidays, Ramblings, Whine 3 Responses »

Oct 132011

When it comes to people, it’s often hard to get below the surface. People don’t often let you get to know their true selves. And sometimes, that’s tragic. Because sometimes, a person’s true self is glorious and wonderful, and far more deep, profound, or moving than the face they present to the world. On the outside, they may look like they stumbled out of bed with a hangover and directly onto the pages of PeopleOfWalmart.com, while on the inside, they are rainbows and unicorns.

And sometimes, it’s probably better that you can’t see past the surface because on the outside, they may look like this:

While on the inside, they are like this:

fat emo kid-he doesnt agree.

Of course, I exaggerate. Even my Inner Fat Emo Kid would never pierce his lower lip or wear pigtails. Tres gauche.

No, my Inner Fat Emo Kid and I are pretty darn close. And we’ve been a lot closer lately. He has been blasting his death metal and writing sad poems in his journal alone, moping in his room a lot. This is nothing new, of course. My Inner Fat Emo Kid has been doing this steadily since 1994, when I was 16 years old, and I discovered that the world is always a more tragic place when you’re driving through the late-night streets and empty cemetery of Albion in a 1989 Mercury Grand Marquis LS. (And my goodness…you should see home of the horrific emo poetry I wrote back then. Huh-larious.)

Of course, back then, Inner Fat Emo Kid wasn’t so inner, and he wasn’t so fat. But still just as emo. Or rather, as emo as a clean-cut, red-headed, Mormon kid wearing a purple shirt, mustard yellow shorts, and black and brown loafers with white socks can be. (Geez, that’s a mental image I wish I could erase. Thank goodness there are no photos of that, or I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from posting them on the blog. Inner Fat Emo Kid loves suffering.)

As I’ve gotten older, Inner Fat Emo Kid still manages to mope around every now and again. But these days, he’s a little less Emo, and a little more Fat. And, I hope at least, a lot more inner. Except of course, when summer finally goes away, and I find myself staring at the prospect of another long, dark, and wet winter. Then he’s much more emo, much more fat, and a whole lot less inner.

That’s right! All of that pictorial diatribe above was simply for me to complain about the weather! Well that, and Halloween.

My hatred of the miserable “holiday” called Halloween has been well-documented here and here. My feelings on the subject have not changed, but have, in fact, strengthened. And I think I understand why. Halloween falls into a bit of a happiness black hole. During the summer, the sun is out, the days are long, it’s warm(ish) and dry(ish). People are suffused with an excess of Vitamin D. There are flowers, sunshine, and lollipops. Well, maybe not the lollipops. But there are popsicles. And in England, they’re called Ice Lollies, so that’s close enough. But it’s Summer! And summer is awesome.

And then in November, it’s okay to start decorating for Christmas. (And don’t you dare even start with me.) And there’s Thanksgiving, when even Inner Fat Emo Kid can make himself so full of yummy food that there’s no room left for the Emo. And after that, there’s Christmas. And Christmas is the calendar equivalent to unicorns pooping rainbows and glitter. It’s the most awesome thing ever. And it makes me happy, and it has great music. And it doesn’t matter that daylight only lasts 17 minutes because there are twinkling lights and pine-scented candles and the promise of presents and going home to visit family and letting my mom do the dishes for two weeks because she is apparently the only person in the Universe who actually knows how to load the dishwasher correctly so instead I get to go downstairs and play video games while she cleans up the kitchen.

But Halloween just falls smack-dab into the right armpit of the year. (The left armpit is the Late February-Late March kill-me-now-if-I-don’t-see-some-sunlight-or-flowers corridor.) Summer’s over, but the real holidays haven’t started yet. It’s too early to decorate for Christmas, and it’s too cold and wet to enjoy being outdoors.

But seriously, this year, I have noticed a major shift in my mood when summer came to its very abrupt end. I’ve been working very hard to keep myself busy, and to enjoy what little sunlight is still available to me, but I’m a bit worried about how I’m going to manage to cope through the upcoming winter. Normally, the beautiful Seattle summers are enough to keep me going, but the last two years we’ve had very poor, cold, wet summers in comparison to what I witnessed the first two years I was here. It didn’t start until mid to late July, and was over by the first week of September.

So, I’m going to try a few things differently this year to try to stave off the Seasonal Affective Disorder of Doom™ that I can feel sneaking toward me on little hippopotamus feet.

#1 Must. Keep. Exercising. I started swimming several miles in July. I lost a bunch of weight really quickly, and had a lot more energy. I was actually getting up and going swimming before work. I have not been able to keep that up as the days are getting shorter. I’m a rise-with-the-sun kind of person, and it’s been very, very difficult for me to get when it’s still completely dark outside. And going after work is pretty much not going to happen. Once my shoes come off after a long day of work, I’m not goin’ anywhere. Except maybe to the apartment complex hot tub to soak for a few. (Note to self: Go soak in the hot tub).

#2 Eat Better. October is very bad month for Matt nutritionally. And I can attribute it to one thing:

Look. I know it’s horrible for me, but I don’t care. They start putting those damn little monopoly pieces on the 10-piece Chicken McNugget box, and I will go all SuperSize Me. (PS. Did you ever notice that McDonalds doesn’t use the term Supersize anymore?) So far, I have won 300 Coca-Cola Points, a $5 Wal-Mart Gift Certificate (Megan, I’ll give this to you because I don’t have a Wal-Mart in my area, and even if I did, I wouldn’t shop there. But you’re strong enough to withstand the evil so I’ll bring it down when I come for Christmas), 20 4×6 Photo prints from Snapfish, and a $40 Tiger Wood 2012 Master Xbox Game. Oh, and a Medium Fry, two breakfast sandwiches, and two quarter pounders. Once this orgy of fried foods is over in two weeks (*cough*) I’m back to healthy eating.

#3 Modern Pharmaceuticals. (And don’t worry…I totally had to look up how to spell pharmaceuticals.) This year, I don’t care what anyone says. I am not going to go through this winter on my own. I don’t believe I need the help of any prescription friends yet, but I’m all about the herbal supplements and all that crap. Melatonin, Vitamin D, St. John’s Wort, Monkey Placenta…I don’t care. I will take it all. Load me up with as many pills as needed. Hell, if I have to start chugging 4 Loko and 5-Hour Energy, I will do it. If Nature can’t provide me with what I need to make it through this Winter, then Amazon.com will.

#4 Light Box. I’m pretty seriously considering getting one of those full-spectrum light boxes that you shine in your face for 30 minutes a day to help wake you up. To be honest, it sounds like a scam…especially considering how stinking expensive the dang things are, but I’ll give it a go. Especially if someone buys me one. I’ve got one picked out already and it’s even on my Amazon wishlist—your one-stop shopping destination for buying me Christmas presents!

#5 Create. Look, I’m miserable, fat, tired, and cranky. So, instead of falling into the trap of doing what would come naturally (i.e., becoming a right-wing radio talk show host), I’m going to try to direct what’s left of my energy toward being creative. Writing songs, finishing my book, recording an audiobook, taking more photos. I’m sure that all of my creative efforts will reek of Inner Fat Emo Kid, but that’s okay. At least he’ll be so busy being tragic that he won’t be able to completely drag me down all winter.

And if all else fails, I suppose I could always dress up as my Inner Fat Emo Kid for Halloween.

Making Change: A Shopping Tale

Living It Up, Money, Ramblings, Rants No Responses »

Sep 252011

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~Oscar Wilde

One of the perks of my new job is that once a year, I get a bonus which is a percentage of my annual salary (assuming we meet our revenue projections.) This is the first time I’ve ever had a job where that was the case. Our fiscal year ended in June, and I have been waiting with anticipation to determine whether or not we reached our revenue targets, and more importantly, when we would be getting our bonuses.

Last Tuesday, the bonuses were delivered. And lo, there was much rejoicing.

Over the last year, finances have been pretty tight for me. My expenses increased pretty significantly when insurance rates went up (both health and auto/renters), rent went up, groceries and gas went up, and I got hit with a not-insignificant tax hit because of a foolish purchase I had made back in the middle of 2010. My piano, while greatly loved, was not purchased the right way—by saving up until I could afford it. So, to put it mildly, I haven’t been doing much in the way of shopping lately. I have managed to sneak in a couple of trips to Kohl’s for clothing, but that’s about it. Most of my paycheck these days go toward payin’ the bills.

That’s one of the reasons why I was so excited about this bonus. I had several things that I had needed (and wanted) to purchase, but couldn’t afford to do so without putting them on credit. Which I don’t do anymore. So, when my bonus check came last Tuesday, I was itching with anticipation about getting back into the shopping mindset for a while. Since then, I have learned something that is both simultaneously exciting and upsetting: I have grown to hate shopping.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I started on Tuesday, when I purchased a new cell phone. (Discussed in the previous post.) My old one was falling apart. I purchased my new phone on Tuesday during my lunch break. And I love it. A lot.

That kept me engaged for Tuesday. Wednesday, I refocused my efforts on the amazingness that is Amazon.com. I love Amazon. I have multiple wishlists that I use to track all the things I would buy if I had the money. I always go there first to check for pretty much anything that isn’t food. I have a Prime membership, so I get free two-day shipping. And I can even get same-day delivery on most of my purchases, because I live in an area where Amazon Fresh, their grocery delivery service, is available.

Amazon’s purchases were pretty fun. I got new ink for my large-format photo printer, and 17X22” paper, to print up some large prints of my photos to frame and hang up. I figure for the cost of the ink, paper, and generic frames, I can get about 10 times more artwork than if I had to pay to have it printed up elsewhere. I got a soil moisture detector ($5!) so I could make sure I don’t overwater my plants. I bought bluetooth receivers for both my home stereo and my car, so I could listen to music through my phone without having to deal with plugging in the headphone jack over and over again. (That’s how I screwed up my last phone). I bought some amazing Drinking Chocolate and refills for Luke the Dog’s™ Everlasting Treat Ball. I bought a second battery for my camera, and another pair of waterproof headphones as a backup for swimming. Oh, and I got a 32gig MicroSD Card for my phone so I could put more music and videos on it. That was done on Wednesday, through Amazon. The ink for the printer was, by far, the most expensive of my purchases, so I had done pretty well.

Thursday, I actually paid all of my bills ahead one month. You know…just to see what that felt like.

Friday, I did some more shopping on Amazon, but didn’t buy anything, because I wanted to leave stuff on my wish list for people to buy me for Christmas.

And then came the weekend:

The best purchase of this bonus season is this awesome sideboard that I purchased for my dining room.

It’s oak, 78” long, and has the most beautiful wood grain. Since my existing furnishings are contemporary, this should fit right in, and now I can finally get all of my cooking stuff out of the pantry so I can use it for, you know, food. I can also finally get my microwave off that ugly printer stand in my dining room. Best part of this buy? It was on clearance, so I got it for $500. Actual big boy, solid wood furniture that doesn’t come in a flat-pack box or need to be assembled with an Allen wrench, and it only cost me $500! (It was originally $1,100.)

So, I was pretty excited about finding this buy, but by now, I was getting awfully tired of consumerism. It used to be that I found the hunt for the right thing to be exhilarating. But even though I had managed to find this really cool thing for a great deal after going to five different furniture stores, I didn’t get that rush I normally get. I was starting to get an inkling that, perhaps, my year without shopping had changed me fundamentally.

As if to drive that point home, I went to the mall. I don’t go to the mall very often, but once upon a time (a year ago) I loved going to the mall and shopping for clothes. If I ever needed confirmation that I was a changed man, this did it. Just setting foot inside the mall send me off the cranky old man deep end. Everything drove me crazy. The music in all the stores was terrible and too loud. None of the clothes fit my new, Reubenesque frame, every single sales person wanted my email to sign me up for a loyalty program. And, behold, my wrath was kindled mightily against a new foe. A foe that embodies the full evil of American retail. My anger, which had been smoldering gently, burst into wildfire flames, fanned by the noxious aroma permeating the air surrounding the softcore porn shop, Abercrombie and Fitch.

I mean, really. There’s a picture in the entrance of a naked man, the lights are low, there are dark shutters across all the windows, and there’s a reek of cheap (yet still expensive) perfume, as though the store was trying to cover up the scent of human feces, mildew, and desperation. If I were walking by that and I didn’t know Abercrombie and Fitch sold clothing (something I’d never assume, since none of the people in the photos visible from the front of the store are ever wearing a stitch of clothing), I’d assume that it was a gay bathhouse.

I actually went inside A&F this time. Ludicrously overpriced merchandise, which I could barely see because it was so dark, awful caterwauling coming from the sound system, and that horrible, horrible odor that the pump into the store. I get wanting your store to smell nice, but A&F is like the 14 year-old using his dad’s aftershave for the first time to go to the big dance. Just a quick dab behind the ears A&F. You don’t need to bathe in it. And more importantly, I don’t want to have to taste it if I happen to walk within a 200 foot radius of the front door of your store. I was eating an Auntie Anne’s preztel, and I couldn’t taste it over the Eau du Rotted Flesh and Rosewater fog from your porno-shack.

(And don’t even get me started of A&F Kids. Why are they using naked 15 year old boys to sell clothing to 8 year olds?)

I spent three hours in the mall, and I realized that shopping—especially clothes shopping—is a young person’s game. I only have two days a week to relax and do what I want to do. That time is valuable to me. More valuable than going through racks of 70% clearance items in Chartreuse and Burn Orange just to find the one button-up shirt that doesn’t cost $87 and have the smell of Abercrombie and Fitch so deeply permeated that the only way you could get rid of it would be to burn the damn thing.

And, quite frankly, I just don’t care about looking good the way I used to. I mean, if I did, I would pull my ironing board out more than once every six months. I wouldn’t eat McDonald’s twice a week, and gorge on Jello Popcorn. (Mmmmm. Jello Popcorn.) I wouldn’t cut what’s left of my hair by myself. But I just don’t care anymore. Also, men’s clothing is SO BORING. It all looks the same. It didn’t matter which store I went into. You could have taken the clothes from Urban Outfitter, and stuck them in American Eagle, or the clothes from The Buckle and put them in Aeropostale.

And the net result of this whole shopping jag? I got a button-up shirt, a hooded sweater, and two t-shirts. And a hat. I couldn’t find the jeans in the size I wanted. I couldn’t find decent underwear. And apparently, the color scheme this year is the mid 1990s-era red, green, and blue plaid…rather like the couch that my aunt and uncle gave me for my college apartment. Sorry, but I’m just not going down that road again.

So, lessons learned:

Shopping isn’t very much fun anymore. So you shouldn’t feel too bad about not doing it
If you have to shop, use Amazon.
Abercrombie & Fitch is the Hellmouth, and their perfumed air is the signal of the forthcoming apocalypse.
I am officially too old and too fat to look good in any clothes that could possibly be considered hip, cool, or stylish.
I am officially too cheap to spend the kind of money that cool, hip, or stylish people would to wear the kinds of clothes they wear
It’s way more fun to shop for furniture than for clothing
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, looks good in a changing room mirror
I really like the color purple.

Now, if I can just keep these lessons learned in the front of my mind, I won’t feel so tempted to go out shopping again at Christmas time.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: or Why I Left Facebook

Angry Matt, Rants, The Technology Whore, Whine 1 Response »

Sep 232011

So, unless you’ve been living under a rock, or are afraid of technology like my Mom (Hi, Mom!), you probably noticed that Facebook has been monkeying around with its design quite a bit these days. As is usually the case, Facebook users around the world flew off the handle, and went berserk.

This image used without permission from The Oatmeal. Which is why I’m linking to them repeatedly. Go here. And please don’t sue me.

I work in the web software and services field, and we often have to do redesigns of our software to improve functionality and appearance. And much like with Facebook, every time we make a change, somebody is upset by it. They liked it the way it was. And usually, I’m of the opinion that look, technology is change. If websites don’t change and update, they will eventually become irrelevant. And for a market leader like Facebook, it’s even more important that they continue to change and innovate, or other websites will come in and take over.

So usually, I don’t begrudge Facebook wanting to change and update their service. I really don’t. Innovate, build, evolve. It’s your world, and you can do whatever you’d like. And as a long-time technologist, I’m extremely flexible. I can adjust to new layouts, functionality, options, etc., without much effort on my part. (For an interesting retrospective on Facebook designs from 2005 to 2009, check out this blog post.)

The redesign rolled out at the beginning of this week, as well as the announcement of what the new Facebook layout will look like was something else, however. In one fell swoop, Facebook went from being a fairly passive, static website experience to becoming the web equivalent of a CNBC Screen during market close.

There’s so much going on at once, so many places to look, so much movement. In addition to fighting itself for attention, Facebook has decided to take away my ability to determine what it is I would like to see in my “feed.” It’s moving certain stories into a special area to highlight them. It’s got a constantly updating ticker of every single thing that my “friends” are doing every second of the day. It’s got a list of friends who are popping online, offline, and into chat. It’s got advertisements that are often irrelevant (or offensive). It’s suggesting that I subscribe to people I’ve never heard of. And navigating the labyrinth of privacy settings, display options, and other configuration variables has become next to impossible without a GPS, a translator, and a couple of Sherpa with mules.

It has become too much for me. Maybe I’m just getting too old. Maybe I’m behind the times. Or maybe I’m just really tired of being unable to focus my attention on any one thing in my life for more than 30 seconds at a time. It used to be that I would get into a zone, put my head down, and make huge strides toward completing a project. These days it seems like I can’t focus on a single topic for more than a few minutes before I get distracted by something else. This new Facebook design seems to require that I sit there in front of my computer for hours and hours on end, watching every little thing that every person I have ever known does during the course of their day and reacting with them.

But I’ve realized something…I know so much about what’s going on in most of my friends’ lives now that when I get together with them or talk to them on the telephone (you know, that thing you use to send text messages…it’s actually capable of voice communication too), I don’t have anything to talk about. They know what I’m doing, I know what they’re doing. There’s no joy in discovering what’s new. This redesign reminded me that I really don’t care all that much about 98% of the people that I am friends with, and certainly not to the point that I need to see what photos they are commenting on, or whose comment on someone else’s post they “liked.” I’m overloaded with information in general. Now, thanks to the new redesign, I’m also getting overloaded with information about people whose lives just aren’t that interesting to begin with.

Then there’s the privacy thing. Look, I’m not naïve enough to think that online privacy is actually a “thing” anymore. I know it’s not. And even if it were, it’s not like I have much need for it, since I spill most of my deep, dark secrets in great detail and many words on this very blog. But the casual disdain with which Facebook treats my data is shocking. It seems like twice a week, they make some change to the way they handle my personal data (making sure that I’m opted-in by default, whether or not I want to be), and then forgetting to close some security hole that lets the friend of a friend of a friend find my home phone number even though I’ve set it as being visible to only my family.

Watching all of this go on for years and years now, I’m beginning to wonder why I’m still taking part. I don’t enjoy the time I spend on Facebook. Yet I’m going back several times a day, every single day. I don’t want to know every little thing that goes on in the lives of people I barely know. I don’t want them to know how to get ahold of me on a moment’s notice.

So, this week, I’ve decided that I’m leaving Facebook. I don’t like what it has become and what it is becoming. I don’t like using it. I don’t trust them. Regardless of what you think, Facebook isn’t free. You’re paying to use Facebook…just not with money. And for me, the cost isn’t worth the benefit anymore. I already live my digital life within the Google ecosystem. They have just as much (if not more) personal data on me than Facebook ever will, but I get so much more out of it. I use Google search, Gmail, Google Voice, Google Music, Google Docs, Google Shopping, Google Reader, Android, The Android Marketplace, Google+, Picasa, Picasaweb, Google Contacts, Google Calendar, Google Maps, Google Finance, Google Earth, and probably a bunch of other products I don’t even realize. If I’m going to sell my personal identify and online privacy, I’m at least going to do it for a good price. And Facebook can’t meet the reserve.

I’m leaving my Facebook account open, with only the barest of personal information available. And my blog will still post links to my new blog posts in the status update field automatically. But I’m done with Facebook otherwise. I’m tired of living in a world where I’m drowning in the minutae of other people’s lives. I’m tired of inhabiting a universe where every millisecond of my attention is being vied for by tickers, and blinking lights, and scrolling feeds. I’m tired of a computer algorithm telling me what I’m most interested in. And I’m tired of trying to negotiate “friendships” with the woman who sat next to my mom in church one Sunday 15 years ago, and decided that, because she knows my name, we’re now BFFs.

Life is short, and Facebook is stealing too much of it away from me. So I’m leaving. And this time, it will probably be for the long haul. I won’t say never, but I just don’t see the benefit anymore.

I will still be on Google+ (which is a much better “social” network experience), and available via email at matt (at) mattarmstrongmusic dot com. And of course, I’ll still be here on the blog, spilling my guts to the anonymous world. I mean, it’s cheaper than therapy, right?

Where Did Summer Go

Living It Up, Money, Ramblings, Random, The Technology Whore 1 Response »

Sep 192011

One of my favorite songs is a song written by the inestimable Alan Menken, and with Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz that originally appeared in the movie “Life with Mikey.”

Where did summer go?
How’d I miss the change of seasons?
All at once the wind blows rough.
It’s cold enough to snow.
In the street below
People laugh, they got no reason
Don’t they know
It’s cold enough to snow.

And while this song is actually about how miserable the singer is that his or her love has gone away that it simply feels cold enough to snow, the lyrics above fairly accurately depict how I feel about the current state of the weather. If I liked to exaggerate and be melodramatic. Which I do.

I woke up a week ago, went outside, and said out loud to Luke the Dog™, “It feels like Halloween.” Just the day before it had been in the upper 70s and sunny. The next morning, it just all felt different. Like, I suppose Halloween. I don’t know if it was the quality of the light, the fact that it dropped 25 degrees, it was cloudy again, or that yesterday when I had awakened at this time, it was light, and today it was still dark outside. But it’s like summer ended in one fell swoop and it was instantly fall.

Now, I normally like autumn (although, as I’ve mentioned, I do rather loathe Halloween), but for the last two years, the summers up here in Seattle have been just this side of miserable. The first two summers I spent up here were beautiful, dry, and LONG. The last two years, they didn’t start until late July and were over by early September. What used to be a 5 month-long summer has, for the last two years been a 2 month-long summer. I’m just not ready to go back into another 10 months of cloudiness and incessant drizzle. I hope we get another little blast of Indian summer coming up here soon.

Despite all that, I’m starting to get into the autumnal mood: rather like preparing to hibernate. I’m starting to get into a “projecty” mood, focusing on things like writing a book, recording audiobooks, working on websites, working on that album project I started, like, five years ago. You know, the kind of thing you’d be stupid to spend your time indoors doing during the summer. I’ve also been “putting up” the last few remnants of my garden in preparation for closing it down for the winter. I made a huge batch of tomato sauce last night, and I’ll probably make another batch or two in the next week or so. I also cut the corn off the cobs and froze it. I’ve got to do something with all of the Anaheim, Poblano, and Jalapeno peppers that I got this year. I’m thinking about making a green chile sauce that I can use on Green Chile Cheeseburgers and with slow-roasted pork and beef for tacos.

I’m also going to purchase a half-cord of firewood tomorrow. I have a wood-burning fireplace in my apartment, and dangit, I’m going to use it. Last year I spent $5 for those little plastic-wrapped bundles of firewood from the grocery story. That, and those stupid engineered fire logs. That is not going to happen again this year. So, if any of my Seattle-area friends want to come over for some hot chocolate, a fire, and a good movie (Lord of the Rings is particularly enjoyable with a roaring fire in the grate), or perhaps a bit of S’mores making, then casa de Matt y Luke the Dog™ will be the place to be.

In other news, I am about to buy a new cell phone. If you know me, this shouldn’t seem like such a big deal. I buy a new cell phone about every 10 months. But this time, It’s a HUGE deal. This is the first time since I owned a cell phone when I was actually eligible for an upgrade without paying the early termination fee. I have owned this phone for two years and over three months. It’s astonishing. But it’s time. My phone’s headphone jack doesn’t work, so I can’t use it to listen to audiobooks/podcasts/music. It doesn’t get good reception, so I can’t use it to make phone calls. It’s slower than Michelle Bachman trying to speak coherently, so I can’t use it to run apps. It can’t connect to my wi-fi, so I can’t use it to surf the net. So, really, I have a portable alarm clock. So, I’m finally getting a new phone. And I’ve waited so long, I’m actually giddy about it. And more than a little proud of myself. I actually exercised a bit of self-restraint when it came to the purchase of technology. Also, can we just say how far we have come in cell phones. Below is my cell phone history:

There was one other one in there, but I couldn’t find a picture of it. *Sigh*.

Alas, the new phone will be hawt. To wit:

For the tech nerds:

1.2 gHz dual-core processor
1 G Ram
32 Gigs Storage (16 built in + 16 in MicroSD card)
8MP Camera on the back (can to up to 1080p video)
2MP front-facing camera for video calls
Android 2.3.4
4G

It’s been very hard for me to not go out and buy a phone for so long, so I’ve decided that since I’ve done such a good job, I’m going to make a little celebration of it. I’m going into work late tomorrow, because I’m going to go to the store and buy my phone as soon as it opens. ‘Cuz that’s how I roll.

And also, ‘cuz I wanna.

So, yes, perhaps summer is over. But the coming of fall does happen to coincide with Bonus season!

Good ‘n Plenty

Food, Living It Up, Luke The Dog 1 Response »

Sep 112011

So, I returned home from my trip to Utah on Thursday evening and picked up Luke the dog. Then, on Friday afternoon, I decided that I’d load Luke the dog up in my car and drive to the house of one of my co-workers for a beach party (he lives right on Lake Washington). He had told me before I left that I could bring Luke over and let him swim, so I did.

Big mistake.

After we had been there about two hours, Luke threw up twice. Major projectile vomiting. After I ran out of bags to pick up the contents of his stomach, I decided to throw him in the car and go home. Now, when you have a dog, it’s generally not a huge deal when the dog throws up. It happens. I just figured that he swallowed a lot of lake water, and that was that. Well that, as they say, was not that.

From that moment on, Luke was unable to keep down any food for longer than about 30 minutes. So, the rest of the night on Friday, and almost all day Saturday, Luke would eat something, then throw up. Then he started getting really, really lethargic. This, if you know Luke, is a cause for concern, since he’s usually pretty wound up. I started getting worried. By 3PM on Saturday, when Luke had thrown up for his sixth or seventh time in 24 hours, I called the vet and rushed him in.

Two x-rays, an injection, a bottle of pills, and $250 later, I discovered that Luke probably just had some irritation in his upper GI tract, and there wasn’t a blockage or anything serious. I’m glad it wasn’t more serious, but I wish I didn’t have to spend $250 to find that out. I don’t really have that extra money right now. So, from Friday afternoon through Sunday morning, I was stuck at home making sure the puppy was okay. (Good news: he’s back to eating normally now.)

Sunday morning, I went out to the garden to do a bit of puttering, and discovered that I was at last able to harvest tomatoes! Below is my first tomato harvest of the season.

Most of these were picked a bit before total ripeness, because I want the plants’ nutrients to go toward ripening the rest of the fruit. Plus, with heirloom tomatoes, you have to get them a bit early or they’ll turn to mush on the vine. I like my tomatoes with a bit more body to them. But aren’t heirloom tomatoes so pretty?

I also had to determine what to do with the seal-sized zucchini I had picked in my garden, so I spent most of the afternoon baking and/or cooking. First up, I made Zucchini bread and muffins, and put in either raspberries, blackberries, or blueberries. I ended up with four loaves of bread and two dozen muffins from a single zucchini…and still have four cups of shredded zucchini in my freezer for future baking projects.

By the way, if you’re a maker of Zucchini bread, I can’t recommend the use of fresh berries highly enough. My personal favorite is the blueberry zucchini bread/muffins, but both raspberry and blackberry are also quite good. And I bet cranberry would be amazing.

Then, I also invented a new recipe for stuffed zucchini.

In a skillet, brown 1 pound of hamburger. Remove the hamburger and discard the grease.
In the same skillet, brown 1 pound of sweet or hot Italian sausage. (I used sweet…I will probably use hot next time) Remove the browned sausage, but leave the pork fat in the skillet.
Add the following into the skillet and sprinkle with a little salt and pepper

1/2 Yellow Onion, Diced
1/2 Green Pepper, Diced
1-2 Medium Tomatoes, Diced
Large handful of fresh parsley, Chopped
Large handful of fresh basil, Chopped
1-2 T of fresh Oregano, Chopped
1/2 t. of crushed red pepper flakes

Add the browned meats back in. Season to taste.

While that’s cooking, split your zucchini lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. This is a good time to use zucchini that have gotten a little too large. Once that’s done, submerge the zucchini in boiling water for just a minute or two to get the cooking started. Remove from the water, pat dry, and put on a baking sheet. Spoon the meat mixture into the hollowed-out zucchini halves.

Then cover with mozzarella and a good parmesan.

Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until the cheese is brown and the zucchini is just starting to soften. (You don’t want it too soft, or it’ll get mushy).

This was quite good. I think next time I make it, I may toss the meat mixture with some Italian bread crumbs and a small amount of a pre-made marinara sauce or perhaps a nice basil pesto before putting it on the zucchini.

And now, it’s 150 degrees in my apartment, I have four loads of dishes that have to be done, and I’ve eaten enough zucchini in the last 8 hours to feed a small third world country.

Luke even had a bit of zucchini. And fortunately, he didn’t throw it up!

A Little Road Trip

Family, Food, Living It Up, Luke The Dog, Pictures, Vacations and Road Trips 1 Response »

Sep 092011

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I just went on a little trip. Like I do about twice a year, I pack up my Xbox and a few clothes, hop in the car, and drive myself down to Utah to visit with the family. This year was a pretty quick trip. I spent all day on Saturday in the car, was in Utah for Sunday through Wednesday, and then spent all day Thursday in the car driving home. It’s about a 13-hour drive. It’s actually not too bad—except for driving through Idaho, which is awful.

Most of Idaho, especially the part through which I-84 slices, is pretty darn ugly. (Apologies to family who lives there…my heart goes out to you.) I did however, find a slightly less ugly view at, of all places, a freeway rest stop.

See that’s not quite so bad. Of course, you can put a river almost anywhere and it will improve the scenery drastically. Idaho in the winter is the worst, though. It’s like driving through Hoth.

Only without the mechanized shooty things. (I have only seen Star Wars once, and I didn’t like it that much, so I’m not that well-versed on the correct terminology.)

In any case, this trip was nice and uneventful. Sunday, my sister, her husband, and my adorable niece, Aubrey, came up to my parents’ house for a visit and a huge, early Labor day barbeque. We sat around on the patio in the back and played with Stella the dog while Aubrey the niece played in the kiddie pool.

Seriously. Isn’t she about the cutest thing ever? Those eyes should be illegal.

Monday—Labor Day—was spent on my Uncle and Aunt’s boat up at Pine View Reservoir.

It wasn’t as sunny as we would have liked, but what can you do. In fact, aside from Sunday, it was cloudy and overcast pretty much the whole time I was down in Utah. It’s like mother nature decided to deprive me of any nice weather all year long this year, like she’s punishing me or something. She’s such a vicious trollop. I mean, I drive a fuel-efficient car. I recycle. I don’t clear-cut Brazillian rain forests. She could ease up on me a little.

You know what, just for that, I’m going to go buy the biggest Hummer I can find. If you want global warming, I’ll give you global warming. Bring it on, Mother Nature. I will take you down.

Anyway, Tuesday, I made peach jam with the peaches from the tree in my parents’ back yard. The tree is only two years old, so they had to trim off most of the fruit this year (about 95%) to keep the tree from getting over-burdened before it’s strong enough. Even still, they had about five dozen peaches that all got ripe at about the same time…which just happened to correspond with my arrival in Utah. So I made peach jam with a few of the peaches, and it’s chillin’ in my freezer. Note to self: make waffles soon.

One of the other main reasons that I decided to go down to Utah for my vacation time was to see my friend Nicole perform in a musical called “Drowsy Chaperone.” Nicole is a classmate of mine from the MDT program at BYU, and is one of the most ludicrously talented people I know. She was also my partner in Choreographic Styles when we sort of killed it. It was also directed by my not-so-secret artistic crush, Dave Tinney. My sis was able to come along, so I drove down to Daybreak to pick her up and take some more pictures of my stinkin’ cute niece:

Then sis and I drove down to Orem, were disappointed to discover that Lon’s BBQ had gone out of business, went to Burger Supreme for old times’ sake (at which I was disappointed to discover it wasn’t as good as I remember it being…especially the onion rings. Blargh), and ended up at the Hale Center Theater in Orem. The show was great, it was great to see several of my old theater friends and one of my former students (who is teaching himself now too!) and spend some time with my sister.

Wednesday, I got myself some Utah Scones at the Star Café in Clearfield, did laundry, shopped for some snacks for the road trip, and made a nummy dinner with the tomatoes and zucchini from my parents’ garden. And through it all, we played a lot of games on the Kinect. Tell you what…if my mom could spend a bit of time getting used to playing Dance Central, she could be a major threat.

So, it was a nice trip. It was great to see everyone, but it was also nice to get back into town and get back to my dog. He stayed with a co-worker of mine for the week I was gone, and quite frankly, he doesn’t seem all that thrilled to have me back. He’s been pouting and disobedient ever since I got back. I just think he got used to having another dog in the house since my co-worker has a very sweet Sheltie named Charlie. I think Luke wants a brother.

And, to top it all off, I found four zucchini like this when I got back:

I was only gone for six days, and when I left, I didn’t have a single Zucchini on either of my plants. In six days, I had four of these get pollinated and grow to roughly the size of a Northern Pike. I also got a dozen ears of corn, a dozen carrots, a couple of bags of radishes, and two gallons of lettuce. And my tomatoes STILL aren’t ripe. Well, at least we’ll have another week of sunny, warm weather. But this is getting ridiculous.

And, fortunately, I’ve got two more full days of weekend before I have to go back to work on Monday. I do love vacations.

A Project Manager’s Vacation

Ramblings, Vacations and Road Trips 3 Responses »

Sep 022011

In my world, PM doesn’t mean post meridian, pretty mental, post-menopausal, or pepperoni meatlog. Well sometimes it means pepperoni meatlog, but that’s not what this blog post is about. No. In my world, PM stands for Project Manager. In other words: me.

When I got my MBA in project management two years ago, I didn’t realize that project management, while I don’t necessary love it, is something that I’m naturally very good at. It’s a special skill…and one that you either have or you don’t. You can hone your skills, but if you’re not the type to make a good project manager, you’re probably never going to be able to develop an ability to be a good project manager. It’s just part of your makeup or it isn’t. Like a sense of humor. Or washboard abs.

When it comes to project management, I have the PM gene. Which would be good and fine if that meant that my project management ended when I packed up my laptop and went home from work, but it never does. I project manage my life. I think in terms of priorities, work items, schedules, and available resources. I have a Gantt chart inside my head.

Take, for instance, vacations: the whole thing is a project that needs managing, and I manage the hell out of it…up until the moment I walk out the door to start my vacation. Then the PM gene gets turned off temporarily. Take my upcoming trip to visit my folks in Utah:

The whole process starts about a week ahead of time, when my brain starts determining the individual work items that need to be done, and the predecessors and successors for each trip. For instance, I figure out how much food I’m going to need to take on the trip, and I give myself a task to go grocery shopping. If I drive, which I will on this trip, then I will need to bring along a small cooler to keep my lunch and dinner fixin’s so I don’t have to stop and get fast food. Of course, this means that I need to get a cooler, because my existing cooler is too small for my needs. I will also need to start making ice for the cooler about five days before the trip to have an adequate supply of ice by the time I have to leave. So, the act of bringing food on the trip then turns into:

7 Days before trip

Buy cooler, ice cube trays, gallon-size zip-top bags

5 Days before trip

Begin making ice

2 Days before trip

Go grocery shopping (with an entirely pre-planned list)
Make Crystal light with the 6 bottles of water.
Refrigerate 3, freeze 3

1 Day before trip

Gather the non-refrigerator items in a plastic bag and set them by the door
Gather all the refrigerator items in one area of the fridge
Gather all the freezer items in one area of the freezer
Stop by the garden to pick the lettuce that you’re bringing home for the family

Day of the trip

Put the frozen and refrigerated items in the cooler
Load cooler and bag of non-refrigerated items into the passenger seat of the car.

All of this happens in my head. I don’t have a list where I write down all of my tasks or their predecessors. It just happens.

Now, imagine that going on with all of the following:

Do all the laundry
Do all the dishes
Make sure the house is clean so you come home to a clean house
Take the dog to the vet
Write the instructions and gather info for the person watching the dog
Ensure that all of the work tasks for the following week are covered
Charge the camera battery
Get the car cleaned
Get the oil changed
Clean out the trunk
Pack your clothes
Water the plants
Get someone to water the garden
Clean out the fridge before leaving
Load up the Zune
Put audiobooks on the phone
Get cash
Pack the change jar (you never know)
Charge the phone
Charge the laptop
Pack all the chargers and cables
Charge the electric razor and toothbrush
Pack the toiletries
Unhook and pack the Xbox, Kinect, and games
Turn in the time off form to the HR department
Load up iPad with sheet music in case you’re asked to play/sing
Bring along the hard drive of all the TV/Movies
Fill up the gas tank
Lock all the windows and doors
Notify the neighbors I’ll be out of town
Fill out the mail hold form and submit to the post office
Pay the rent
Pay all bills due during my time away so I don’t have to think about it.

Now imagine that each of those has several component tasks that must be prioritized, scheduled, and executed on time. I do this all naturally. In my head. This doesn’t stress me out at all. I don’t see it as insurmountable.

I have also never (ever) forgotten to bring anything, charge anything, pack anything, or do anything. I am NEVER packing at the very last minute. (I’m leaving tomorrow, I packed two days ago—everything but the toiletries which I still need). I mean, who has time to blog the night before they get up at the butt-crack of dawn to drive 800 miles? I do. I finished my tasks two hours ago. I’m going to shower tonight, so tomorrow I’ll wake up, put on my clothes, load the car (everything is sitting by the front door ready to go), and leave. It’ll be 15 minutes from the time I wake up until the time I am on the road.

I am project manager. Hear me roar.

Now, lest you think I suck all the fun out of my vacations by doing this, I do need to mention that I don’t have any major plans for the entire time I’m on vacation. Hell…I’m not even entirely sure which route I’m going to take to get there or back. It’s just the preparation phase. It certainly makes for an easy transition. And it certainly helps that I don’t have to consider anyone else’s needs in this process…it’s infinitely easier when I’m planning this for one. And not having kids also helps. But nevertheless: My name is Matt, and I’m a PM.

Puttin’ on the Schvitz

Food, Health No Responses »

Jul 312011

I don’t know about y’all, but last week was a freakin’ long week. I came back from my awesome staycation to an email inbox of 859 messages, which it took me three hours to whittle down. Then we dove in head first trying to get ready for a major project launch that was scheduled to go on Thursday, but which got pushed out to this coming Tuesday due to technical issues. One of my team members was gone, so in addition to trying to get caught up, I had to take over her responsibilities, too. We had technical problems all week long, so I was dealing with the fallout from that, and trying to deal with bigger, overarching issues at the same time. It was a pretty not-fun “welcome back from vacation.”

At the same time as I was going through all of that, I decided that it was time to change up my life by increasing my exercise workload. So, I started getting up early in the morning before work to go to the gym and swim a mile or so. On one hand, I felt pretty darn proud of myself for actually managing to discipline myself enough to get up an hour early and go to the pool for 45-50 minutes before work. On the other hand, I spent the whole week feeling like I had been used as a punching bag for the Russian Olympic Boxing Team. Come about 2PM or so, I could barely sit up straight in my chair, let alone actually concentrate on my work.

Here is, I think, the problem: My endorphin maker is broken. Let me give you an example from an article by K. Cossaboon called Exercise and the “Endorphin Rush”.

We’ve known for a long time about the benefits of exercise as a way to enhance our physical condition and combat disease; but it hasn’t been until more recently that exercise is being recognized as an element in maintaining mental fitness. Studies have shown that exercise releases endorphins in the brain, which in turn cause us to have what is commonly know as a "natural high" or a "runners high". You may not realize what caused it, but most of us have felt it. Whether we’re engaged in a leisurely swim or an adrenaline-charged rock climb, there is that moment when suddenly pain or discomfort drops away and we are filled with a sense of euphoria. We have endorphins to thank for these moments of bliss.

This. Doesn’t. Happen.

Seriously. I never, ever, ever feel better either while or after I exercise. I only feel better three days later when I step on the scale and see that I’ve lost weight. But the act of exercising has never once given me an endorphin rush. I just hurt, my brain gets fuzzy, and I get really lethargic. And don’t bother telling me that I just have to keep at it and eventually I’ll get there. I spent about two years straight playing the gym rat. I was in great shape, dancing every day, lifting weights for 1-2 hours a day, five days a week. I know from exercise. And I also know that, no matter how many times I do it, I never get the endorphin rush.

Ergo, there are only two options remaining. Either my body is immune to its own endorphins, or my endorphin maker is broken. (I see from my old friend Wikipedia that endorphins are manufactured by the pituitary gland and the hypothalmus. ‘Cuz Knowledge is Power!")

In any case, despite my broken hypothalmus, I have continued to exercise and, perhaps also importantly, eat better. In the process of doing this I learned something interesting.

The Day	The Food	The Exercise	Weight Loss the Next Morning
Day 1	200 Calories under my limit	600 calories burned	Gained .3 Pounds
Day 2	300 Calories under my limit	1000 calories burned	Gained .2 Pounds
Day 3	150 Calories over my limit	No Exercise	Stayed Even
Day 4	500 Calories under my limit	750 calories burned	Gained 1 Pound
Day 5	Just under my limit	800 calories burned	Gained .5 Pounds
Day 6	At at McDonalds, Make Chocolate Chip Cookies AND homemade lasagna. Didn’t even bother counting	No Exercise	Lost 4 Pounds

So, as you can see, the real trick to weight loss is to trick your body into thinking that you’re exercising and eating right, then slapping it across the face with McDonalds. I think I can do this weight loss thing.

No, but seriously, I have lost about six pounds since I started just over a week ago. It won’t win me anything on The Biggest Loser, but it’s a good start. And, on that note, I’m going to close down this very cheery and chipper blog post, because I have to go to bed so I can get up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow to swim before work. I’ll probably gain half a pound.

I said a-hip, hop, a hip to the hop

Ramblings, Television, Vacations and Road Trips, Whine 1 Response »

Jul 242011

Some random thoughts:

***

So, I took a hip hop dance class yesterday. It was pretty tragic. Turns out that I still have a pretty good mind for choreography. I could totally remember what steps came next, I just couldn’t make my body do them fast enough. Also, I did jumping jacks as part of the warm-up for the class. Apparently, jumping jacks are really bad for your lower back, because the act of doing jumping jacks hurt so badly I could barely stay upright. I’m going to blame having to counterbalance my gut for the back problems.

***

My staycation ends in about 90 minutes, and I don’t want it to. This has been perhaps the single most relaxed, enjoyable, and fulfilling week of my entire life. I cooked, baked, gardened, played video games, did laundry, worked in the garden, watched TV, saw Harry Potter twice, saw Captain America, saw another movie I can’t remember (it obviously made a big impression on me), took Luke swimming, got a gym membership, swam a mile and a half, took a dance class, got the car cleaned, and took lots and lots of naps. It was awesome.

I’m not looking forward to the state of my inbox when I return tomorrow.

***

I re-hired my cleaning lady this week. I’m having her come once every two weeks instead of once a week like before. And I’m going to be getting rid of my cable television shortly to help cover the cost. Part of me feels bad because I know a lot of people can’t afford to pay someone to come to their home and clean, but at the same time, I’ve just decided that this is one of the perks of being single. There are a lot of things I can’t do because I’m single, but being able to afford to hire a cleaning lady is one of the things I can do. So I’m going to do it, and I’m not going to feel guilty.

Also, she rocks. She cleans my apartment better in three hours than I can do by myself in two days.

***

Back with Siskel and Ebert/Ebert and Roper were on TV, I used to love watching their movie review shows. Then, of course, Siskel died and Ebert lost his lower jaw. So, instead, Ebert and his wife are now producing a new movie review show for syndication.

Me no likey. Look, I get it. People who love film really love film. And many of them love “art” film. They’re more interested in “films” than “movies.” I really do get it. But the problem is, I don’t really care that much about most art film. When I spend $15 to go to the movies, I go to the movies for entertainment. I get next to nothing out of the two chowderheads Ebert hired to host the show. Christi Lemiere has, ostensibly, the worst taste in movies of all time. I mean, she actually gave a thumbs up to Mr. Popper’s Penguins. And don’t even get me started on that pompus windbag, Ignati Vishnavetsky. Iganti is the ultimate in movie hipsters. He just did his “5 Best movies of the year so far” list, and not a single one of his films was even remotely approachable. And I think it’s great that he cares so much for the art of cinema. It’s just completely WORTHLESS to me as an interested viewer. It’s unfortunate, because I really like watching movie commentary—I just can’t stand the commentary of these two.

Instead, I guess I’ll just have to keep sticking with one of the best movie reviewers out there: Mr. Eric D. Snider. At least he doesn’t have his head so far up his own rear end that all he ever watches and reviews are limited release art films that are more torturous to sit through than a Jr. High Production of Shakespeare.

Older Entries Newer Entries

Sympathy Nesting

Why I Hate Halloween, 2011 Edition

Making Change: A Shopping Tale

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: or Why I Left Facebook

Where Did Summer Go

Good ‘n Plenty

A Little Road Trip

A Project Manager’s Vacation

Puttin’ on the Schvitz

I said a-hip, hop, a hip to the hop

Recent Comments

Blogroll

Links

Follow Me

Archives