Holidays » One Off

Goodbye 2011–The Year I Met Myself

Being Existential, Gratitude, Holidays, Ramblings 2 Responses »

Dec 312011

Okay. You’re going to need to brace yourself here. Are you sitting down? Okay, good.

2011 was a great year.

Okay? You’re back with us now? You didn’t hit your head too hard on the concrete when you passed out did you? I know, I know. It’s a surprise, but it’s true. For me, 2011 was a great year. 2011 was the year that my audiobook company finally started making money. It was the year that I finally reached the kind of work/life balance that I’ve been aiming for since I entered the workforce. It was the year that I met and talked with my neighbors, progressed at work, learned new skills, and resurrected long-neglected ones. I made lots of music, gardened, crocheted, sewed, played video games, took photos, started writing my book, cooked a lot, began working out again, and finally started learning how to live within my means. I got to welcome my beautiful new nephew into the world. I broke up with Facebook. I became an (official) manager of other people for the first time in my career. I spent time with my family, played with my dog, enjoyed the short (but beautiful) summer, lost 15 pounds, and gained it all back.

I did a lot and experienced a lot this year, but what makes 2011 such a special year for me had less to do with what I did or didn’t do, and much more to do with the tectonic shift in my attitude about my own life. For the first time in my life, I became comfortable with myself as a person. I was able to finally see past my shortcomings and appreciate my strengths. I stopped making and tracking my resolutions or goals on a monthly basis. I (largely) stopped bemoaning the fact that my life hadn’t turned out the way I expected it to. Rather than feeling lonely or left out, I began to find a great deal of comfort in my own solitude. My life became far more peaceful than it has ever been before.

A large part of that shift is related to a choice I made a few months ago to stop caring about what other people thought of me or what I do. I was able to speak my mind more freely, and not worry about how people saw me because of it. I did the things that made me happy, regardless of how doing so made me look in the eyes of others. I stopped “apologizing” for being the way that I am, and instead learned to appreciate myself. I learned that I’m awesome, and I don’t freakin’ care if you don’t think so. I discovered that I have never met anyone like me in my life, and that’s pretty cool. I finally learned to appreciate my unique skillset and personality.

If I may submit an example of this change: 2011 was one of the most musically prolific years for me since I retired from performing. My skills are rusty, my voice certainly not in top shape. Nevertheless, I stopped caring if people liked my music, and I posted it online anyway. I endured a bit of (I believe) friendly ridicule from some co-workers over the content or quality of my music. In the past, that would have torn me up, and I would have bemoaned the fact that I wasn’t any good. This time, I actually managed to let it roll off my back, and I kept doing my thing anyway. I was able to realize that not everyone will appreciate what I do, and I don’t care.

As this year quickly coasts to its close, I find myself a happier person. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m still sarcastic, a little bitter, and prone to fits of ranting. That will probably never change. But I’m learning to let it go much more quickly—to move on. Perhaps it’s maturity. Perhaps it is my comfortable isolation. Perhaps it’s a fluke. And most importantly, perhaps it doesn’t matter. I feel as though I made some important steps this year toward getting to know who I really am, and not who I thought I was or was told that I should be. Not bad for a year’s work.

To all my friends, family, co-workers, and other, anonymous readers of my blog, I wish you a very Happy New Year. May 2012 be as fulfilling for you as 2011 was for me.

Post Thanksgiving Update

Holidays, Luke The Dog, Pictures, Vacations and Road Trips No Responses »

Nov 272011

Le Sigh. I love Holidays. Not fake holidays, like Halloween or Valentine’s day, where you still have to go to work. No, I love real holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and the 4th of July when you don’t have to go to work. In terms of work, though the greatest of these is Thanksgiving. Because every year, Thanksgiving comes with a 4-day weekend, which are seriously the best.

This year for Thanksgiving was a little strange, but enjoyable, nonetheless. I had Thanksgiving dinner with my friend, Melissa and a bunch of people from her Choral Conducting program at the University of Washington. I had never met any of them before, but they were a fun bunch, the food was good, and I made a particularly stunning caramel apple pie (if I say so myself.)

On Friday, I actually ventured out to the mall to do a bit of shopping, wander around and enjoy the hustle and bustle, and to see a movie for which I’ve been waiting for months. The mall was packed, which was to be expected, but I got my Bath and Body Works pine-scented candles (my yearly tradition), my Auntie Anne’s pretzel with caramel sauce, and I got to see The Muppets.

The Muppets was fantastic. It’s the best Muppet movie since Jim Henson passed away. The voices are a little “off,” which is to be expected since Jim Henson and Richard Hunt passed away, and Frank Oz doesn’t want anything to do with the Muppets anymore. (For shame, Frank. For shame.) But it captures the spirit of the Muppets so thoroughly and completely. The music is ludicrously catchy. And I am not ashamed to admit it: When they recreate the opening to the Muppet Show with all of the original puppets, I got a little choked up. It was a brilliant, heartfelt, un-ironic, funny, charming, uplifting movie from beginning to end. Grade: A.

Also on Friday, I ended up cooking the 20 lb. turkey that I purchased but that I didn’t make for Thanksgiving. It was quite yummy. And I will be eating it for the next two weeks. Because a 20 pound turkey for a single person and a couple of ravenous dogs can go quite a long way. I’ve got another day or two of turkey sandwiches in me, then I’m going to make a big pot of turkey noodle soup.

Saturday consisted of two things: Assassin’s Creed: Revolutions and Arthur Christmas. The first is a video game that I’ve had for a couple of weeks but haven’t been able to play very much. The second is the new animated movie that came out. Arthur Christmas is another really delightful little Christmas movie. It was done by Aardman Animation (the same studio that brought you Chicken Run and Wallace and Grommit). The computer animation is fantastic, the story is perfect for getting into the Holiday spirit, and Bill Nighy’s portrayal of Grandsanta was hysterical. Really fun movie, and it will get put into my Holiday movie rotation. Grade: B+

Today, the majority of the day was spent on Assassin’s Creed. And I’m dreading having to return to work tomorrow. Christmas feels so very far away right now.

However, the real excitement in my life over the last nearly two weeks has been the (temporary) addition of a new member of my family: Jasper the Dog.

Jasper’s owner watched Luke for me a couple of months ago when I drove down to Utah to visit in September, so I owed her a favor, and offered to watch Jasper for her while he was out of town. Jasper is a 1.5 years old, and is some sort of Terrier/Chihuahua Mix. He’s very affectionate, wicked smart, and has been a holy terror for the last week and a half that he’s been at my place. He was rescued about two months ago, and has a few abandonment issues. It started out with he and Luke the Dog™ not getting alone very well. Well, to be more accurate, he was afraid of Luke and would snap at him if Luke got too close. Luke was fine with Jasper. Eventually, they got over it, and now they’re good friends, and like playing together.

Jasper is a very demanding dog, though. He gets jealous easily. If I wanted to pet Luke, Jasper would get in between Luke and I. If I sat down anywhere, Jasper climbs on top of me, whether I want him to or not. He demands to be picked up all the time, which I will only do when I want to. And, for the five or six days he was here, he was afraid of everything and everyone. He would walk very timidly behind me when we were out walking, and Luke would walk in front of me, pulling, so I ended up looking like a drunk showgirl trying to do a sideways showgirl walk with a broken high heel.

The bigger problems, though, were Jasper’s attitude. Jasper peed or pooped in my apartment 12 times in 7 days. He chewed through both Luke’s leash and his own leash. He ripped a hole in my bedspread. He climbed up on the table and shredded one of my bamboo placemats. He would go into my closet, grab my socks out of the hamper, and carry them all over the apartment. I eventually had to crate him whenever I left the apartment for more than about 5 minutes.

As I mentioned, he’s very, very smart. When properly motivated, he would pick up obedience commands in a matter of seconds. But he’s uber-stubborn. When he wants something, he will completely disregard you. I don’t allow my dog in the kitchen when I’m cooking, and Jasper would sit at the entry to the kitchen until I turned my back for one second, and then he’d run in and try to get into the garbage, or jump up and get something off of the counter.

Despite all of that, though, Jasper is a real sweetie. He obviously loves being around people once he trusts them. He loves to cuddle in a way that Luke never did. He actually likes sleeping under the covers of the bed, which was really nice on those cold nights. He was like a furry hot water bottle. Except for the time he decided he needed to warm up his nose by sticking it down my butt crack at 3AM. I tell you what: if you are the kind of person who has a hard time getting up in the morning, you should invent an alarm clock that will simulate a cold, wet dog nose in your butt crack. That will wake you right up.

In the last week, he’s really come out of his shell, playing with other dogs in the complex, interacting with all of the office staff and regulars. He does a better job of playing fetch than does my Golden Retriever. And, like Luke, he eats like a fiend. But getting any work done with him around is very difficult. He’s like most of the MDT people I knew in college: he insists on being the center of attention all the time, and if he’s not, he’ll pee on your bed. Again.

So, Jasper goes back home tomorrow, and I will get to finish the sewing project I’ve been working on, and Luke can go back to sleeping on the bed without worrying about getting kicked off by a dog 1/10th his size. It’ll be weird only having one dog in the house again. But, I do think that this cured me of the craving I’ve been having to get another puppy anytime in the near future. One dog is enough for me for now.

Well, I hope all of my reader(s) had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and you’re all giving your Pandora Christmas Music stations a workout. Speaking of, if you need an expertly chosen Christmas music station, you can find my Christmas music station here: http://www.pandora.com/#!/stations/edit/341352601847510870

Why I Hate Halloween, 2011 Edition

Angry Matt, Health, Holidays, Ramblings, Whine 3 Responses »

Oct 132011

When it comes to people, it’s often hard to get below the surface. People don’t often let you get to know their true selves. And sometimes, that’s tragic. Because sometimes, a person’s true self is glorious and wonderful, and far more deep, profound, or moving than the face they present to the world. On the outside, they may look like they stumbled out of bed with a hangover and directly onto the pages of PeopleOfWalmart.com, while on the inside, they are rainbows and unicorns.

And sometimes, it’s probably better that you can’t see past the surface because on the outside, they may look like this:

While on the inside, they are like this:

fat emo kid-he doesnt agree.

Of course, I exaggerate. Even my Inner Fat Emo Kid would never pierce his lower lip or wear pigtails. Tres gauche.

No, my Inner Fat Emo Kid and I are pretty darn close. And we’ve been a lot closer lately. He has been blasting his death metal and writing sad poems in his journal alone, moping in his room a lot. This is nothing new, of course. My Inner Fat Emo Kid has been doing this steadily since 1994, when I was 16 years old, and I discovered that the world is always a more tragic place when you’re driving through the late-night streets and empty cemetery of Albion in a 1989 Mercury Grand Marquis LS. (And my goodness…you should see home of the horrific emo poetry I wrote back then. Huh-larious.)

Of course, back then, Inner Fat Emo Kid wasn’t so inner, and he wasn’t so fat. But still just as emo. Or rather, as emo as a clean-cut, red-headed, Mormon kid wearing a purple shirt, mustard yellow shorts, and black and brown loafers with white socks can be. (Geez, that’s a mental image I wish I could erase. Thank goodness there are no photos of that, or I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from posting them on the blog. Inner Fat Emo Kid loves suffering.)

As I’ve gotten older, Inner Fat Emo Kid still manages to mope around every now and again. But these days, he’s a little less Emo, and a little more Fat. And, I hope at least, a lot more inner. Except of course, when summer finally goes away, and I find myself staring at the prospect of another long, dark, and wet winter. Then he’s much more emo, much more fat, and a whole lot less inner.

That’s right! All of that pictorial diatribe above was simply for me to complain about the weather! Well that, and Halloween.

My hatred of the miserable “holiday” called Halloween has been well-documented here and here. My feelings on the subject have not changed, but have, in fact, strengthened. And I think I understand why. Halloween falls into a bit of a happiness black hole. During the summer, the sun is out, the days are long, it’s warm(ish) and dry(ish). People are suffused with an excess of Vitamin D. There are flowers, sunshine, and lollipops. Well, maybe not the lollipops. But there are popsicles. And in England, they’re called Ice Lollies, so that’s close enough. But it’s Summer! And summer is awesome.

And then in November, it’s okay to start decorating for Christmas. (And don’t you dare even start with me.) And there’s Thanksgiving, when even Inner Fat Emo Kid can make himself so full of yummy food that there’s no room left for the Emo. And after that, there’s Christmas. And Christmas is the calendar equivalent to unicorns pooping rainbows and glitter. It’s the most awesome thing ever. And it makes me happy, and it has great music. And it doesn’t matter that daylight only lasts 17 minutes because there are twinkling lights and pine-scented candles and the promise of presents and going home to visit family and letting my mom do the dishes for two weeks because she is apparently the only person in the Universe who actually knows how to load the dishwasher correctly so instead I get to go downstairs and play video games while she cleans up the kitchen.

But Halloween just falls smack-dab into the right armpit of the year. (The left armpit is the Late February-Late March kill-me-now-if-I-don’t-see-some-sunlight-or-flowers corridor.) Summer’s over, but the real holidays haven’t started yet. It’s too early to decorate for Christmas, and it’s too cold and wet to enjoy being outdoors.

But seriously, this year, I have noticed a major shift in my mood when summer came to its very abrupt end. I’ve been working very hard to keep myself busy, and to enjoy what little sunlight is still available to me, but I’m a bit worried about how I’m going to manage to cope through the upcoming winter. Normally, the beautiful Seattle summers are enough to keep me going, but the last two years we’ve had very poor, cold, wet summers in comparison to what I witnessed the first two years I was here. It didn’t start until mid to late July, and was over by the first week of September.

So, I’m going to try a few things differently this year to try to stave off the Seasonal Affective Disorder of Doom™ that I can feel sneaking toward me on little hippopotamus feet.

#1 Must. Keep. Exercising. I started swimming several miles in July. I lost a bunch of weight really quickly, and had a lot more energy. I was actually getting up and going swimming before work. I have not been able to keep that up as the days are getting shorter. I’m a rise-with-the-sun kind of person, and it’s been very, very difficult for me to get when it’s still completely dark outside. And going after work is pretty much not going to happen. Once my shoes come off after a long day of work, I’m not goin’ anywhere. Except maybe to the apartment complex hot tub to soak for a few. (Note to self: Go soak in the hot tub).

#2 Eat Better. October is very bad month for Matt nutritionally. And I can attribute it to one thing:

Look. I know it’s horrible for me, but I don’t care. They start putting those damn little monopoly pieces on the 10-piece Chicken McNugget box, and I will go all SuperSize Me. (PS. Did you ever notice that McDonalds doesn’t use the term Supersize anymore?) So far, I have won 300 Coca-Cola Points, a $5 Wal-Mart Gift Certificate (Megan, I’ll give this to you because I don’t have a Wal-Mart in my area, and even if I did, I wouldn’t shop there. But you’re strong enough to withstand the evil so I’ll bring it down when I come for Christmas), 20 4×6 Photo prints from Snapfish, and a $40 Tiger Wood 2012 Master Xbox Game. Oh, and a Medium Fry, two breakfast sandwiches, and two quarter pounders. Once this orgy of fried foods is over in two weeks (*cough*) I’m back to healthy eating.

#3 Modern Pharmaceuticals. (And don’t worry…I totally had to look up how to spell pharmaceuticals.) This year, I don’t care what anyone says. I am not going to go through this winter on my own. I don’t believe I need the help of any prescription friends yet, but I’m all about the herbal supplements and all that crap. Melatonin, Vitamin D, St. John’s Wort, Monkey Placenta…I don’t care. I will take it all. Load me up with as many pills as needed. Hell, if I have to start chugging 4 Loko and 5-Hour Energy, I will do it. If Nature can’t provide me with what I need to make it through this Winter, then Amazon.com will.

#4 Light Box. I’m pretty seriously considering getting one of those full-spectrum light boxes that you shine in your face for 30 minutes a day to help wake you up. To be honest, it sounds like a scam…especially considering how stinking expensive the dang things are, but I’ll give it a go. Especially if someone buys me one. I’ve got one picked out already and it’s even on my Amazon wishlist—your one-stop shopping destination for buying me Christmas presents!

#5 Create. Look, I’m miserable, fat, tired, and cranky. So, instead of falling into the trap of doing what would come naturally (i.e., becoming a right-wing radio talk show host), I’m going to try to direct what’s left of my energy toward being creative. Writing songs, finishing my book, recording an audiobook, taking more photos. I’m sure that all of my creative efforts will reek of Inner Fat Emo Kid, but that’s okay. At least he’ll be so busy being tragic that he won’t be able to completely drag me down all winter.

And if all else fails, I suppose I could always dress up as my Inner Fat Emo Kid for Halloween.

A Christmas Project Follow-Up – Life is a Gift

Being Existential, Gratitude, Holidays 1 Response »

Mar 262011

A month or two before Christmas, I asked for some help from you, my loyal blog readers, for a little Christmas Project I wanted to put together. You can read the full story here but the short version of the story is that there is a young, single mother in my apartment complex with a few young children who (I got the feeling) was struggling with things. The oldest daughter was a bit of an outcast, and had let slip that the family was in rough shape financially. Thanks to some very generous help from folks who read the blog, I was able to put together a little financial gift which was left anonymously.

Since that time, I have learned several things about the young family that have struck me pretty deeply, and I wanted to share them with the people who helped me out in my little project.

Perhaps most significant, not to mention heart-rending, is that the oldest girl has brain cancer. I don't know how long she's been fighting it, but toward the end of the year, it took a turn for the worse. She has been going through pretty difficult treatments, and has lost of all her hair from the radiation. I don't know a lot of the details, but at the age of 9, at in the last couple of months, she has lost nearly all her eyesight due either to the tumors in her brain or the treatment to remove them. She's been in and out of Children's Hospital in Seattle, and right now, the prognosis isn't looking so great. I don't ever see her walking around outside anymore. She isn't able to go to school. Things are in a bad way.

For a large chunk of 2010, the mother had been unemployed. In the middle of January, she landed a job as a receptionist. I have heard that she is now working two jobs to make ends meet, but it's difficult because she has to be there to take care of her oldest daughter, not to mention the other two kids, one of whom isn't old enough to go to school yet. The mother, who is a very sweet lady, broke down in tears recently in the complex office because of the weight of everything she's trying to deal with. The more I get to know this woman, the more amazed I am at her strength and determination.

I didn't know any of this stuff when I selected this family for my little project. And I didn't know it when I handed off the small sum that we managed to put together. I only learned about some of it earlier today, and it's been haunting me (in both a good and bad way) all day long.

I am so grateful to those of you who helped me with this. I had no idea what all the family was going through when this all happened. I don't know how they felt about what was left for them. But I have to believe that it came as a help at a very difficult time.

I am so thankful that I have been so blessed to know so many generous people in my lifetime, and that you were willing to step up and help me help someone you've never met. I'm glad that I received the prompting to do this project, and you can rest assured that it will continue on in the future. And mostly, I want to publically state how grateful I am to have the things I have. This blog has often been an epic litany of complaints, but every once in a while, I get a proverbial slap in the face and realize just how good I have it. I have good and generous friends, a healthy body, money to cover my needs and many of my wants, a good job, a loving family, and so much more.

So again, thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who contributed. Know that your help went to someone who really, truly needed it in ways I couldn't even begin to understand. Much love and even greater blessings.

The Day I Take the Tree Down

Family, Food, Friends, Holidays, Pictures 3 Responses »

Dec 292010

Well, it has been a wonderful Christmas Holiday. Aside from the fact that there was a distinct lack of white surrounding my Christmas, it was nice to spend time with family and friend, take some time off work, and, of course, give and get presents. My parent’s house was beautifully decorated, as usual.

But, for someone who loves to decorate for Christmas as much (and as early) as do I, once Christmas is over, I’m not overly sentimental about leaving my decorations up. I got home from Utah very early Monday morning (12:30AM), and by 2:30PM that same day, my decorations were boxed up and in the storage unit. I’m ready to move on. And, quite frankly, the sooner summer gets here, the better.

While I was home, my sister, brother-in-law, father, mother, and I had a long discussion about food and the food system in the US. For the last six months, I have not been particularly kind to myself food-wise. I’ve put on even more weight, and as of Monday morning, topped the scale at a pudgy 202.3 pounds. (It’s about 30 pounds too much for my 5’10” frame.) A large portion of that has come from fast food combined with my utter loathing of any and all forms of exercise. Part of our discussion was about how to eat more in line with what our bodies really need. None of us are likely to become hard-core vegans or anything like that (most especially because I believe that veganism or hardcore vegitarianism are NOT in the best interest of our bodies from a health perspective.) However, we all largely decided that we need to eat less meat overall.

So, when I got back, I dove right into my plan. The overall goal is to lose 25 pounds by the end of April. I’m going to do that by cutting out 95% of my fast food eating (I’m not going to give it up entirely), tracking my calories using the awesome MyNetDiary.com website and iPad app, and forcing myself to exercise at least three times a week.

At my last grocery trip, I tried putting together at least a few vegitarian/vegan options, and saving my meat for only a couple of times a week. I bought healthier pre-made foods that I can eat at home, since I think we all know that it’s extremely unlikely I’m going to cook a ton of food every night for myself. I just don’t have the time or inclination anymore. I also bought a juicer so I can try to increase my vegetable and fruit intake somewhat. (Thanks for the Kohl’s gift card, mom & dad!)

There’s one main reason I am trying to make this change: I feel disgusting. I get out of breath climbing a few flights of stairs to my office. My lower back hurts all the time. I get frequent heartburn. I’ve gotten sick more in the last year than I have in the last five years put together. I don’t have very much energy. I need to drop this weight and start feeling healthy again.

There’s also one other reason that I’m making this change: I’ve picked my vacation for the year. I’m going to go swim with the wild dolphins off the northern coast of the Bahamian island Bimini this year in the autumn, and I would just as soon they didn’t mistake me for an injured manatee. It’s bad enough I’m going to be Casper-The-Ghost white when I get there, I’d just as soon not be bloated as well. It’s going to be a trip of a lifetime, and I want to make sure that I’m not self conscious about my fat rolls the whole time I’m down there.

So, I’m looking for good low-calorie meals…particularly those that are either missing or light on the meat. I would also prefer to have recipes that take advantage of the foods that are currently “in season”—something of a misnomer in the middle of winter, but you know what I mean. Let’s just say I’m not going to be cooking with fresh strawberries right now.

So far, I’ve got a few recipes scheduled to try out, and if I find any that are any good, I’ll re-post them here for anyone else who happens to be chugging along the same path.

After that, the only thing left to do is try to avoid the siren song of the Dairy Queen…the shrill little Harpy.

Grateful Things

Being Existential, Family, Food, Friends, Gratitude, Holidays, Luke The Dog, Ramblings, Random, The Technology Whore, Work No Responses »

Nov 142010

As previously mentioned, I may not decorate for Thanksgiving, but I do celebrate Thanksgiving. As a natural complainer, I, of all people, need to be reminded of lucky I have been in my life. Here are a few of the things I’m grateful for:

***

I ran into one of my old co-workers today, and I was again reminded how grateful I am for my job. I’m grateful that I am able to work for a company that treats its employees more like human beings and less like expendable resources. I’m grateful that I have health insurance. I’m grateful that, despite having worked there for less than six months, and having already taken two paid days off, I have nearly two weeks of paid time off accumulated. I’m grateful that I don’t have to clock my down down to the minute, and I don’t have to get approval to leave work 15 minutes early, because there is no rigid schedule.

***

I’m grateful for living in such a beautiful area. This is beautiful, not only because of the wonderful summer weather, the beautiful scenery, and the clean air, but because of the people. Of all of the places I have ever lived, I don’t think I’ve ever lived anywhere where the people were more accepting of differences. I think it’s due to the higher education level, the extremely diverse population, and the overall liberal feel of the place, but the people here just don’t seem to get so worked up over other people’s choices.

***

I’m grateful for the Internet. I’ve basically grown up with the Internet. I started using the net regularly in 1992 when I got my very first 2400 baud modem. Since then, I’ve basically lived online. You can argue whether this is a blessing or a curse, but it has become a major part of my life—one that I would be hard pressed to live without. I’ve been able to have fun, learn new skills, get and give support, make money, spend a whole lot more money, and share the things I create. I’m grateful for that young man from Lansing who just gave me his old, leftover modem to experiment with so I could join the revolution so early. (It’s strange to think that the Internet as we know it now hasn’t even been around for 20 years yet. When I started getting online, it was using Lynx and Gopher. There weren’t any graphical websites, and certainly no such thing as e-commerce. Things move quickly in the technological age, don’t they?

***

I’m grateful for my family. We don’t live close together, and haven’t for a long time. But I still feel very close with them. I’m grateful that they love me no matter what, and that even though I make choices that they may not agree with, that doesn’t diminish their love for me or mine for them. Considering what I have seen many of my friends go through with their families, I’m not really sure how I got so lucky to have mine, but I’m glad I did.

***

I’m glad that I can write in my blog, take photos, write songs, play video games, play with the dog, record audiobooks, go shopping, cook (and eat), and do all of the other things that I do in the course of my life that bring me enjoyment. I’m grateful that I get to set my own schedule, make my own rules, and live the way I want to live. I’m grateful that I can decorate for Christmas a month early. I’m grateful for my dog, my iPad, and my Tivo. I’m grateful for a car that, in five years, has only needed oil changes, new tires, and (as of this moment) new brakes. I’m grateful for my friends.

***

I’m grateful for lots of other things too, but I think I’m going to limit my schmaltziness to this list. For now, anyway. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I felt like I had to throw in at least one Gratitude post. Last of all, I’m extremely grateful for Kaspars, the place where I have Thanksgiving dinner every years that I’m not with family. Because this is what my Thanksgiving dinner will consist of:

Carved Turkey with Rosemary, Lemon and Black Pepper Rub
Pike Place Market Ale and Honey Glazed Ham
Old Fashioned Gravy
Cranberry, Orange and Cinnamon Sauce
Annabelle’s Savory Celery, Sweet Onion & French Bread Stuffing Corn Bread Stuffing with Crispy Oysters
Whiskey Barbecue Pulled Pork
Maple Vanilla Bean Sweet Potatoes
Country Style Red Skin Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Brussels Sprouts with Shallots and Crispy Bacon
Butternut Squash, Spinach, Ricotta Cheese and Walnut Cannelloni Baked Macaroni and Cheese with Fine Herb Bread Crumb Crust
Dungeness Crab Champagne Bisque
Northwest Seafood Stew with Sun Dried Tomatoes and Basil
Black Bean and Cojito Cheese Quesadilla with Pico de Gallo
House Smoked Wild Salmon with Honey Rum Glaze
Chilled Prawn Cocktail with Horseradish Tomato Cocktail Sauce
House Smoked Penn Cove Mussels
Olive Oil Poached Albacore Tuna with Watercress and Red Bell Pepper Pesto
Roasted Cauliflower Salad with Curried Garlic Dressing
Spanish Red Snapper Escabéche Deviled Eggs with Dungeness Crabmeat Orzo Salad with Green Vegetables and Green Goddess Dressing
Caesar Salad with Focaccia Croutons and Parmesan Dressing
Thai Noodle Beef Salad with Mint, Cucumber and Lemon Dressing
Greek Vegetable Salad with Feta and Kalamata Olives
Red Cabbage and Apple Slaw with Brown Sugar Dressing
Roasted Winter Vegetable Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette
Tomato, Basil and Fresh Mozzarella Salad
Caramelized Onion and Three Cheese Tart
Balsamic Onions with Oregon Blue Cheese
LePuy Lentil Salad with Chicken Cilantro Meatballs
Roasted Beet, Pear, Spiced Granola Salad
Ricotta Tortellini Salad with Autumn Squash and Crispy Sage Seasonal Fruit Platters
International Cheese Selection with Sesame Crackers, Focaccia, Walnut Bread, Challah, Savory Scones, Cilantro Jalapeño Corn and Bacon Muffins
Pumpkin Pie
Pecan Sweet Potato Pie
Crème Brûlée
Cranberry Tiramisu
Rustic Apple Tart
Cheesecake
Cookies
Chocolate Mousse
Banana Betty
and Many More!

Indian Summer

Being Existential, Gratitude, Holidays, Living It Up, Luke The Dog, Media, Pictures, Random, Television 1 Response »

Nov 072010

I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. What does that even mean? Just a sec…

According to the Internets:

This proverb is based on the fact that a horse’s value is determined by his age, which, in turn, can be roughly determined by an examination of his teeth. The message conveyed is that a gift should be appreciated for the thought and spirit behind it, not according to its value. St. Jerome, who never accepted payment for his writings, first used the phrase in reply to his literary critics. His exact words: "Never inspect the teeth of a gift horse."

Which doesn’t actually apply to what I wanted to write about, but never mind. Idiomatic usage trumps actual meaning always. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Anyway, what I meant to say before I rode the Google horse off into the sunset forever is that today was beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. This week, winter took a little siesta and let us enjoy just a little bit more autumn. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday it was warm and sunny. It got up to 74 on Thursday. Then, Friday and Saturday, it went back to winter: cold and rainy. Then, this morning I work up and there was sun. I suppose, if we still have to continue to practice the arcane tradition of Daylight Saving Time (note: NOT Daylight SavingS time), then a beautiful fall day is the least that could be expected in return.

I took Luke down to the park, and let him off his leash, since we were up at the butt crack of dawn (see: Daylight Saving Time). It was so nice outside, and the clouds so interesting that as soon as we got home, I loaded up my camera a tripod and went back to the park to take some pictures of the last of the fall foliage. I also wanted to use my new tripod to take some HDR photos. The picture above is one of the results of that.

Then, a couple of naps, a few loads of laundry, a loaf of homemade bread, a piece of key lime pie, another couple of dog walks, and four solid hours of video game time, I figured I should come back to the blog.

It was a very, very good day.

***

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to revisit my blog post about giving an anonymous gift at Christmas. So, the morning after I wrote that blog post, I got an email from an old high school friend. He sent a very generous donation to my Christmas Project, but wanted to play "devil’s advocate" a bit. Basically, there were a few things that he wanted me to think on:

What if giving this family money would offend them.
I don’t KNOW for sure that they’re needy
I probably shouldn’t get other people in the complex involved because I don’t want them to become "the family that’s poor and needs help."

I had actually been thinking along those same lines, and came to a couple of conclusions. First, I agree that getting a whole bunch of other people involved, no matter how well-intentioned, probably isn’t the best of ideas. I think I’m going to rely on the good old postal service.

Secondly, I’m not going to turn it into a big production number. (I have a tendency to do that sometimes…who know that all those years in theatre would influence me so negatively?)

Third, I will include a quick message saying something along the lines of "If you can use this money to help with your holiday expenses, my only ask is that you remember this and try to ‘pay it forward’ some time in the future when you are able. if you don’t need this money, please pass it along to someone who does." Only I won’t use the phrase "pay it forward" because, for some reason, I just really hate that phrase. I think it’s from watching The Biggest Loser where it gets said 374 times each episode.

Fourth, and most importantly, I’m going to stop talking about it. I didn’t originally bring it up on the blog to toot my own horn, but mostly to see if anyone else out there wanted to help. (PS, if you want to help, read how HERE!) But, if I keep talking about it, then really, it just sounds show-offy. And goodness knows I can’t do that well enough all on my own.

***

On the recommendation of Orson Scott Card, I have started watching the Nickelodeon series Avatar: The Last Airbender. I have to say…I’m actually fairly impressed. I despise Anime and Anime-style shows, but I’m really enjoying this. I think that, because it is an American-made show, it helps significantly. The stories, writing, and acting are quite good. The animation style is a little primitive, but not so much so that I bothers me. If you have Netflix streaming, I’d recommend it. It’s very good, and has that Harry Potter-ish young-child-trying-to-take-on-a-task-that’s-far-too-big-for-him-and-save-the-world thing going on.

In Which I Ask for Money

Gratitude, Holidays, Living It Up, Money No Responses »

Nov 032010

So, a quick follow-up to yesterday’s post about the awesomeness that is decorating for Christmas in November: I still think Thanksgiving decorations are largely horrendous, but there’s something not quite right about decorating for Christmas when it’s sunny at 70 degrees outside, as it was today. My apartment is actually hot today.

Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that I basically didn’t leave said apartment all day long. I woke up feeling not-so-hot. Scratchy throat, headache, runny nose…you know, the general "cruds." I decided to work from home today because, well, I can do that. (Have I mentioned how much better my new job is? ) I answered emails and troubleshooted (troubleshot?) problems, did a training for several of the stations we work with, and took it easy.

I’m feeling a little better, especially after that epic late-afternoon nap, but I’ve got the stir-crazies right now. I think I understand now why Luke is always so happy to see me when I get home. At this rate, if someone I liked came over, I might spin in frantic circles and tinkle on the rug too. (Now I have guilt about leaving Luke alone in the apartment all day long.) (And a very gross mental image of me peeing on the carpet when company comes to visit.) Moving on…

In going along with my early Christmas theme this year, I am also starting my Christmas shopping early. And thanks to the joys of Amazon Prime, I will done with my Christmas shopping about fifteen minutes after my brother calls me and tells me what his family wants for Christmas.

But, the real reason I am posting this is because I’m embarking on a little project. There is a family in my apartment complex. It’s a young single mother with three children aged 8, 4, and 3. The kids are very sweet, but my heart goes out to the oldest one, especially. There are kids who you can just tell from looking at them who have a special spirit, and this little eight-year-old girl is one of them. She’s always alone, always very quiet, and very calm. Luke, who is usually indifferent toward kids, really loves this little girl. I have also heard that, at school, she is teased mercilessly, always eats her lunch alone in the principle’s office, and doesn’t really have any friends.

Several days ago, I was out walking Luke around the complex, and she came over to pet Luke. I asked her how school was going, and what she was going to be for Halloween. She said that she was going to be a witch, and then she started to get choked up a little bit. I asked her what was wrong and she said that her costume was the same one as the costume she had last year, and it was too small, but they couldn’t afford to get another costume, and she really wanted to go as a cowgirl.

I feel bad for this family. There are four people living in an apartment even smaller than mine. The three kids don’t have any other children their own age to play with. They’re struggling to make ends meet. And nothing breaks my heart faster than a little kid being mistreated by his or her schoolmates because of money.

So, this year, I’ve decided that I’m going to anonymously "sponsor" this little family in my apartment complex. I’m going to get them all the food for a big Thanksgiving meal, and then I’m going to be giving them a chunk of money to help pay for presents, and will also be doing a 12 Days of Christmas thing with them as well. I’m even going to be going to have the apartment complex staff and some of my neighbors delivering the stuff so they don’t know where it comes from. It’s going to be a BLAST! And I want to make sure that these kids have a Christmas that they won’t forget.

I’m going to be doing everything I can afford without getting myself into deeper financial trouble, however, I don’t have a lot of extra money lying around right now, so I would like to ask for a little bit of help from my friends out there in the Internets. Even $5 or $10 dollars would be a huge help. I promise that ALL of the money donated will go directly to the family.

If you would like to help me help this little family out this holiday season, I would be really, really grateful. There are a few ways that you can help out if you’d like.

If you see me in person, you can pass along any assistance (money, toys, gift certificates) to me directly.
You can mail me checks or money orders to Christmas Project, Open Book Audio, PO BOX 3304, Redmond, WA 98073. (If you have my personal mailing address, you can use that too…I just don’t want to put my personal mailing address on the internet in plain view)
You can donate via PayPal. Just send the donations to matt (at) openbookaudio dot com. In the memo area, just put "Christmas Project" so I can earmark the fundage appropriate.
If your bank does bank to bank transfers, contact me directly, and I’ll set you up with the routing and account numbers necessary to transfer some $$$ over directly.
If you’re in the area, and are able to come deliver anything to the family, that would be awesome, too. Especially on the days when I’m going to be out of town for the holidays.

So, if you’re having a hard time getting into the spirit, try helping me out with this little project. These are really good people, and the kids are sweet. I want to help them out. Thanks in advance for anything you can do to help.

What Ever Happened to Thanksgiving?!?

Angry Matt, Family, Funny, Holidays, Living It Up, Rants, Seriously? 2 Responses »

Nov 022010

[tkgiv1.JPG] Every single year. Without fail. Every single year, I have to answer this stupid question. You mention that you always start putting up Christmas decorations on Halloween night because you don’t like Halloween, and there is a certain segment of the population that freaks right the hell out and asks (usually in a voice raised in both volume and pitch) "YOU CAN’T DO THAT! WHAT ABOUT THANKSGIVING?"

Here’s the deal: Thanksgiving is still there. It’s not going anywhere. And, because of Thanksgiving, I get two days off of work, so I even recognize it as a real holidays (unlike Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Pioneer Day, Halloween, Secretary’s Day, or any of those other stupid pseudo-holidays.) I even LIKE Thanksgiving. What’s not to like? Great food, family (if you’re lucky), being thanksful. All good stuff. But I will NOT decorate for Thanksgiving. I flat out refuse.

[tkgiv1+(4).JPG] For starters, it is impossible to decorate for Thanksgiving without looking like you stepped out of the pages of Modern Amish Living. As far as I’m concerned, the phrase "Shabby Chic" should be removed from the lexicon forever and ever, as should the decoration style it describes. If I wanted my apartment to look like my grandmother’s barn, I would have decorated it that way. I, however like things classy and modern. And since I don’t have anywhere to put a piccaninny doll on an antique rocking chair, and I refuse to decorate with dried corn stalks, porcelain tchotchkes of Native American stereotypes, pilgrim caricatures, and stuffed turkey plushies, there’s not a lot left over.

Secondly, any holiday that embraces the colors of yellow, orange, and brown for decoration purposes is a holiday that I can’t allow into my decor. My color scheme is celery green and robin’s egg blue, with Espresso colored furniture. If I were to start putting orange, yellow, and brown on top of all of that, my house would look like it ate the 1970s, got decorational indigestion, and then had diarrhea across the living room. I won’t do it. It’s not going to happen.

Third: where, pray tell, would I store all of my Thanksgiving decorations when I’m not using them? Should I rent a storage locker at $60 a month so I can have a place to keep my Indian Corn and wicker cornucopia? Yeah. That’s worth my money. Also, spending money on these decorations in the first place? You’ve got to be smoking crack. Which, come to think of it, may be the only way that most Thanksgiving decorations would look good in the first place.

Fourth. Let me tell you about what my standard Thanksgiving usually consists of. 1) Wake up at 8AM and take the dog for a walk in the rain. 2) At 11:30, hop in the car and drive to a restaurant in Seattle. 3) Eat a massive meal, sometimes by myself, sometimes with one other friend. 4) Drive Home. 5) Take a Nap. 6) Sit around the apartment bored out of my mind, playing video games, or watching movies. 7) Maybe talk on the phone with my family. Maybe. 8) Take the dog for another walk or two…usually in the rain. 9) Start playing Christmas Carols in anticipation of the most wonderful holiday of all time, when I will get to go home and be with my wonderful family and take a week and half off of work. See, I don’t have any family here, and it’s far too much effort to try and get home for just the Thanksgiving weekend, so I usually do Thanksgiving alone. I don’t mind it. In fact, I’m rather used to it. But I’m grateful I get to go home for Christmas.

Fifth: I never have people in my house for Thanksgiving, so why not decorate the way I want to.

So, to summarize, Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday in which we can reflect on the things for which we are grateful. However, despite the wonderful meaning behind this holiday, the decorations are truly heinous. I believe, as an ambassador of good taste (What? Shut up.), that it is my duty to start a revolution. We need to rename Christmas decorations to "Holiday Decorations." That way, we can use them for Thanksgiving AND Christmas, thus removing the need for horrendous Thanksgiving décor. Because, really, which would you rather be surrounded with when you eat your Thanksgiving dinner?

I love Thanksgiving, and I’m grateful for many, many things. But one of the things I’m most grateful for is that I am able to put up my Christmas decorations for Thanksgiving, and I don’t have to decorate for Thanksgiving at all.

Clothes Horse

Holidays, Living It Up, Money, Pictures No Responses »

Sep 152010

So, I’ll be honest. The current state of my wardrobe is a little, well, sad. Once upon a time I went shopping for clothes all the time and loved to get really expensive high-end stuff. But then several things happened. I got fat, I had to start paying $1300 a month in rent, and I stopped caring about my physical appearance so much because I stopped putting myself onstage and started working in technology companies where it’s completely okay to wear pajama bottoms and go around barefoot. If you can wear a pair of jeans and a button-up shirt and still be the most nicely dressed person in the room…well, what’s the point of going out of your way?

Anyway, I recently had to swap my studio and my bedroom between rooms in my apartment due to the fact that I couldn’t get Lillias, my piano, into the room that had been serving as my studio. In the process of moving my clothes from one closet to the other, I had a realization. I still had clothing that I had owned and wore all the time from HIGH SCHOOL. 16 YEARS AGO!

So, I went through my closet and pulled out all of the clothes that I don’t wear, that don’t fit me, or that were more than 10 years old and took them to goodwill. It was time.

Then, Kohl’s (motto: We love to rape you in the wallet!) had their big semi-annual men’s wardobe sale that started today. Plus I had 20% off my entire purchase. Plus there were "doorbuster" sales all day long today. Plus I needed new clothing–especially now that winter (aka September-May) is here.

So I went clothes shopping, and I loaded UP. I got 15 shirts, a nice fleece jacket, and three pairs of pants. (I had gotten jeans last month on sale). Nearly everything was at LEAST 50% off (their fake, made-up prices). Plus the 20% off that I got on the whole order. I ended up getting out of there for $275. Not bad for me. I have spent more than that on ~~hookers~~ a single suit jacket. AND, I got $50 is Kohl’s cash back, So, I’ll be back next week for more. (I’ll probably use that for the boring stuff like underwear and t-shirts.)

So now, I’m set for winter. I just have to get all my sweaters dry-cleaned, and I’ll be in really good shape for when the weather gets cold…tomorrow.

Speaking of cold weather, I want to show you what I found inside Kohl’s today, September 15th.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Christmas decorations? On Sale? In September? Summer isn’t even officially over yet, and you’ve got your Christmas decorations up? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas more than the av-er-age bear. November 1st is Christmas Decoration Day in the Matt Armstrong house. But this is a little ridiculous, even for me. At LEAST wait until summer is over.

(And to answer the question I know you’re asking, yes. I totally did go meander through the aisles to see if there was anything I wanted to buy. I didn’t get anything, but there are some cool new Christmas Village figurines out this year that I’ll probably add to my collection…I’m just going to wait until I can use the Kohl’s cash I racked up on my shopping spree.)

I will say this, though. This shopping trip was quite theraputic. I got lots of good stuff,

***

On a mostly unrelated note, I have decided to embark upon a little photography project. My friend Jamelah does this project where she takes and posts a photo every single day of the year. Most of the time, they are self-portraits, and some of them are stunning.

I’ve written much about my own body image issues and my dislike of my own physical appearance on this blog in the past. My feelings have only increased since a) I’ve gained a lot of weight and b) my new next door neighbors are both extremely buff and have a penchant for walking around half-naked all the time. (Don’t worry…if I looked like that, I would walk around half-naked all the time too…although I’m not saying which half.) (And now I need to take a shower, because now I feel dirty.)

Well, I’ve decided to take on a little self-portrait photography project. I’m not going to commit to a picture a day or anything insane like that, but I would like to at least do one self-portrait photo a week between now and the end of the week. My hope is that, in doing so, I’ll get a better idea of what I look like through an external lens instead of through my own eyes. Plus it’ll be a fun challenge. I imagine I’ll be copying other people a lot, but it’ll be fun to play with light, color, and my own personal interpretation of myself. We’ll see how long my dedication to this little experiment lasts, but it should be interesting while it does…

Here’s photo #1!

Older Entries

Goodbye 2011–The Year I Met Myself

Post Thanksgiving Update

Why I Hate Halloween, 2011 Edition

A Christmas Project Follow-Up – Life is a Gift

The Day I Take the Tree Down

Grateful Things

Indian Summer

In Which I Ask for Money

What Ever Happened to Thanksgiving?!?

Clothes Horse

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