So, I re-read this post this morning. It was, shall we say, a little more “harsh” than originally intended. I’ll be clarifying my position later tonight when I get home from work, but I figured I’d mitigate my epic fail slightly. Just stay tuned.
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Aug 272009
Dec 302008
I hate having my picture taken. Always have. (It all goes back to my distaste for my personal appearance. But that’s another blog post.) It’s why I started taking pictures in the first place. When you’re behind the camera, it’s difficult to be in front of the camera. But, every now and again, it’s nice to have a picture that shows that I actually exist. This year, I wanted to get a nice picture of me and the dog in front of the Christmas tree. And I tried to take it using my wireless camera remote. It worked out well, don’t you think?
Heartwarming.
This year, for Christmas, I got to leave the unusually snowy and cold Pacific Northwest in order to visit the even snowier and colder climes of the Utah Mountains. Actually, I wasn’t visiting Utah, I was visiting family. (Since I’ve been away, I’ve become a big fan of not being in Utah.) Last year, I wasn’t able to spend Christmas with the family, being instead, stranded here in Washington due to work. It was not one of my better holidays, let’s be honest.
This year, I flew home on Tuesday the 23rd, and got to eat at Cafe Rio (one of the things about Utah I do miss). On the 24th, we drove down to Daybreak to visit my sister and her family, including this adorable little girl:
Lethal. Just lethal.
Christmas Eve Night, and Christmas Morning, it dumped snow. But despite all the snow, I got to see the sun, which I’ve also missed since about the middle of October. My sis and family came up to Syracuse, and we ate our traditional Christmas dinner of Fillet Mignon, and played games on the Wii, which I had brought down from Washington with me.
It was really the perfect Christmas. My family and I get along so well. We rarely, if ever, have those drama-filled holidays. My father actually said that he’d love it if I lived at home with them. And I would love living with my folks. The house was cozy, warm, peaceful, and beautiful. The food was fantastic. The company was wonderful. It was fun, relaxing, and just all-around perfect. It made coming back home more than a little depressing. It was hard to go from such a warm, happy environment to my quiet, lonely, and perpetually chilly apartment.
In any case, this Christmas was one of my favorites of my entire life. Now if I could just convince my mom to let me bring the dog home with me, I’d be all set.
So, regular readers of my blog have heard me go on about my quest to develop the ultimate chocolate chip cookie recipe. Over the last several months, I’ve made approximately 16 different recipes for chocolate chip cookies, including several of my own variation, in an effort to find a fail-proof recipe. I’ve read books, surfed internet sites, and developed a recipe and technique that have worked wonders. So, now that I have given the recipe away as a gift (along with all of the necessary kitchen gadgetry) for Christmas, I will now share my Ultimate C3 recipe with you. I started with the classic Toll House recipe as a basis for my variation, and changed the chemistry of the dough slightly to improve flavor, consistency, and most of all, reliability of the recipe. By way of a fair warning, if you’re not into the science behind baking, you’re probably going to learn a whole lot more than you wanted to know, because I’m not only going to give you a recipe, I’m going to give you a quick culinary lesson based on my research.
In a large mixing bowl, add 200 grams (1 1/2 C) of Bread Flour and 140 grams (1 Cup) of All-Purpose Flour.
Measuring flour is one of the single most important things a baker can do. Flour, unlike say, sugar, is compact-able. It settles over time. A standard cup of flour can contain between 125 and 175 grams of flour, depending on how that flour is measured, how long it has been settling, what kind of flour, etc. If at all possible, you should measure flour by weight, not by volume. That way, you are certain to get reliable results because you’ll know you’re using the same amount of flour every time. Assuming you can’t spend the $25 necessary to purchase what should be one of the most essential items in your kitchen, I have included volume measurements. If you must use the volume measurement, use the scoop and sweep method. Take the measuring cup and scoop the necessary flour out of the bag or container. Then use the back of a butter knife to sweep the excess flour off so you get an exact measurement. DO NOT sift the flour before you do this. DO NOT pour the flour into the measuring cup.
Likewise, the different types of flours are important. Bread flour is made from "hard" wheat, and contains higher amounts of protein, which are responsible for the creation of gluten…the substance that will make your cookies chewy. Make sure that you use the correct proportion of bread flour to all-purpose flour listed above.
Add to the flour 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, and 1/2 a teaspoon of baking soda.
In this recipe, I call for both baking powder and baking soda. Here’s why. Both baking powder and baking soda are chemicals which create gas that blows "bubbles" in your baked good, but they work in different ways. Baking soda (Calcium Carbonate) is a leavening agent that works when it is combined with an acid. That’s why, if you put baking soda and vinegar together, you get a geyser. Baking powder is a dried and powdered leavener which contains baking soda AND an acid (usually tartaric acid, or cream of tartar) which reacts twice: once when it gets wet, and again when it gets above a certain temperature. The classic Toll House recipe calls for only baking soda, but this is, in my estimation, a bit of a mistake, because there is very little acid in standard chocolate chip cookies. Additional, you generally only need 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda to raise 1 cup of flour. So, the traditional 1 t. of Baking Soda is actually overkill, and can result in the bubbles in the dough getting so big that they can pop, and the cookie can go flat. By combining the both soda and powder, you get built-in cookie insurance. And since Baking powder is only 1/4 as strong as Baking Soda (i.e., it takes 1 teaspoon to raise 1 Cup of flour), you’re actually decreasing the amount of leavening.
Additionally, it’s extremely important that your baking powder and baking soda be fresh. If you’ve had it for more than six months, throw it out and get new stuff. It does go bad, and stops working.
Using a whisk, combine all the dry ingredients together thoroughly. You don’t want there to be pockets of baking soda or salt in your dough later on. You could also sift them together, but that’s overkill, and I hate trying to clean sieves or sifters. Set the dry ingredients aside.
Then, in another bowl, place 1 stick of room-temperature butter and 1/2 cup of regular, non-flavored Crisco. Add 1 Cup of Dark Brown Sugar, and 1/2 a Cup of White Sugar. Beat this mixture for at LEAST two-three minutes, until the mixture is fluffy and much lighter in color.
This step is, aside from measuring the flour, the single most important step you can take to ensure your cookies raise correctly. When you cream fats and sugars together, you are essentially using the crystaline structure of the sugar to punch tiny air holes into the structures of the fat. These holes are the basis for the bubbles that your leavening is going to blow up for you later. The chemical leaveners don’t have the strength to raise a dense cookie dough without starter bubbles, and it’s the job of creaming the butter and the sugar together to create those starter bubbles. Don’t skimp out on this step! Also, you may notice that I’ve added much more brown sugar than white sugar. This is on purpose. Using the dark brown sugar makes for a much more complex, caramel, molasses notes in the cookie than white sugar, which pretty much just adds sweetness.
Once your mixture is thoroughly creamed, add two eggs and two teaspoons of Vanilla Extract. Use the GOOD stuff, none of this artificial Vanilla flavoring. REAL Vanilla Extract. Mix until well combined. Once you add the eggs and vanilla, you can’t add any more air bubbles to the fat, so if you skimped out on the last step, you have now passed the point of no return.
Slowly incorporate the flour mixture into the wet ingredients, until they are thoroughly combined. Mixing the flour with the wet ingredients will create gluten in the dough. Unlike in cake making, however, you don’t need to worry about overbeating this dough. We aren’t looking for tender cookies, we’re looking for chewy cookies…especially right around the edges. The dough should be fairly stiff. Add 1/2 a bag of good quality chocolate chips (I prefer Milk Chocolate myself, but semi-sweet can be good too). Mix the chocolate chips into the dough by hand until they are evenly distributed.
Refrigerate your dough. It is imperative that you refrigerate your dough for at LEAST 30 minutes. I would recommend letting it sit for 24-36 hours if you can help it. Letting the dough sit has three purposes. First, it lets the flour molecules hydrate and soak up any excess moisture from the fat, the eggs, and the vanilla. Secondly, it lets the fat firm up again, which will keep it from melting too quickly in the oven, and thus prevents over-spreading. And finally, letting the dough rest for longer periods of time helps some really complex and delicious flavors develop in the dough. You get even more caramel undertones, more depth in the flavor profile of the final cookie. Just make sure its covered tightly to prevent fridge funk from seeping into the dough.
When you’re ready to bake your cookies, preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Don’t trust that the thermostat on your oven will be accurate. They rarely are. Do yourself a huge favor and spend four dollars to invest in a cheap over thermometer. That way you’ll always be sure your oven is always at the right temperature. Also, I would suggest that you let your oven preheat for at least 30 minutes. I realized that, in the age of energy conservation, that’s a politically incorrect thing to say, but it’s important. Ovens, especially electric ovens, cycle on and off so they’re always coasting over and under the temperature in a sine wave type of pattern. You can minimize that by allowing the metal inside the oven to heat up to the oven temperature. This will help to keep the temperature far more stable as you open the door to insert trays of cookies.
How you dish the cookies is also important. I would suggest using a #24 ice cream disher (or scoop, depending on what you want to call it) to dish up your cookies. This way, the cookies will be the same size and will get done at the same time. Quantity control. For cookie sheets, I would recommend using a standard aluminum half-sheet pan. You can find these at any restaurant supply store for $4-5 dollars. Avoid using non-stick pans, and really avoid using dark non-stick pans. On top of your cookie sheet you should use either parchment paper, which you can find in the same aisle as your aluminum foil or plastic wrap, or even better, a silicone baking mat like a Sil-Pat. These things are marvelous. Cookies will not stick to them, nor will the bottoms burn before the top is done. Best of all, they wipe clean with a wet paper towel, and the baking sheet never needs to be washed.
I usually dish about 9 cookies per tray and bake only one tray at a time. Make sure that if you’re doing several trays, you let your trays cool down between batches. Don’t put the cookie dough on a hot cookie sheet. It will cause the fat to melt too quickly, and the cookie could come out too thin.
Bake the cookie for 9-11 minutes. If I keep my oven at exactly 375, use the aluminum half-sheet pan with a silicone baking mat, I usually pull my cookies out right at 10 minutes, or will let them bake for another 30 seconds or so.
When the cookies first come out of the oven, they will seem a little soft and a little underdone. They will also seem a little too puffy. This is okay. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for at least 10 minutes. As the cookies cool, the remaining heat in the pan will finish up the cookies, the fat will solidify and the cookies will get that nice chewy consistency. And the air in the bubbles inside the cookie dough will cool and contract, causing the cookie to deflate slightly.
Then eat to your heart’s content. Anything this good can’t be bad for you. :)
Here’s the recipe again in standard format:
Matt’s Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 Stick of Unsalted Butter at room temperature
1/2 C. Unflavored Shortening
1 C. Brown Sugar
1/2 C. White Sugar
2 teaspoons of Pure Vanilla Extract
2 Large Eggs
200 Grams (1 1/2 C.) Bread Flour
140 Grams (1 C.) All-Purpose Flour
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 Bag of High-Quality Chocolate Chips
1. Whisk Flours, Baking Soda, Baking Powder, and Salt together in a mixing bowl. Set aside
2. Using a stand mixer or hand mixer, cream butter, shortening, and sugars together for several minutes until light and fluffy.
3. Add eggs and vanilla to the butter/sugar mixture and beat to combine
4. Slowly incorporate the flour mixture into the wet ingredients with your mixer until the dough is formed.
5. Stir chocolate chips into the dough by hand
6. Refrigerate dough for at least 30 minutes, but preferably 24-36 hours.
7. Preheat oven to 375 for at least 30 minutes before baking the first batch of cookies
8. Dish dough onto a room temperature aluminum baking tray lined with a silicone baking mat using a #24 ice cream disher
9. Bake cookies for 9-11 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes on the tray before removing.
Variations: Try adding nuts if you like them. A couple of large flakes of course ground sea salt give a fantastic contrast between the salty and the sweet. Or, a dash of cayanne pepper might give a surprising little background note to your cookies.
When I get home after Christmas, I’ll create a .PDF with a printable 4X6 recipe card on it.
Enjoy this recipe. I only ask that if you try these and love them, send me an email and let me know. Or comment here. And, if your ever pass the recipe along, please put my blog address (http://blog.mattarmstrongmusic.com) on the recipe card.
Dec 232008
Praise the Gods of free airport Wi-Fi!
So, it’s now 12:32 PM on the 23rd of December, and I’m sitting on the floor indian style, resting my back against a random column in the middle of the airport corridor, because it’s the only available outlet in which to plug my power-guzzling laptop. For the last several days, the weather has been pretty miserable by most standards, and fully atrocious by Seattle standards. On Wednesday night, we received nearly a foot of snow: something unheard of here. The city of Redmond only own two snowplows, so they couldn’t dig anyone out. Then, we got more snow on Friday, and another dumping of snow on Saturday.
The airport has been at a near stand-still. Horizon and Alaska airlines cancelled ALL of thier flights because they ran out of plane de-icer. The mountain passes were closed, so neither the trains or the trucks carrying the de-icer could make it to the airport. There were thousands of people stranded at the airport, and the Red Cross even had to provide blankets and cots for people who were stuck here for several days.
So, it was with trepidation that I left my apartment to journey to the airport. I’m going home for Christmas, dammit, even if I have to walk. Fortunately, the airport is nearly back up to capacity, and the runways are cleared. Most of the stranded have been able to make connecting flights, and this particular corner of the airport is blissfully quiet. All in all, a pretty lackluster trip…except for the fact that my flight just got delayed an hour and there is a gate change that will very shortly have me trecking to the exact opposite side of the airport.
I love airports; always have. I love the crappy food, the people watching. I love to browse the junk stores and see all the overpriced stuff that I would never, ever consider buying outside of an airport. (Does anyone EVER buy anything from Brookstone outside of the airport?) There are even special airport traditions. The only place I will ever eat a Cinnabon is in an airport. In fact, I usually try to get to the airport early to walk around in an effort to find a Cinnabon stand. But most of all, I LOVE watching the planes take off. I realize that, at 30 years old, I should be jaded by the commonplace nature of commercial flight. But watching these giant planes get off the ground still just amazes me. I know the basics of the physical principles that make flight possible, but watching these behemoth machines that weight 108,000 pounds lift off is really exciting. I guess beneath the layers of interior decorating and musical theatre, the little boy in me is still alive.
In any case, I can’t wait to get home for Christmas…even if I have to wait an extra hour or two to do it. Besides, the trek across the airport will give me a chance to look for a Cinnabon stand.
Dec 152008
So, today, I was at work, sitting in a stall of the large public bathroom, when a man (at least I hope it was a man) entered the stall next to me and sat down. In a few moments, I heard video game music playing from the neighboring stall. Sure enough, before long, I recognized the sound of someone playing Bejeweled 2 on their phone. This was particularly funny because, at the beginning of every level, this big deep bass voice would chant “GO!” with sound effects racing behind. It was like having my own personal bathroom cheerleader.
I was astonished. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve played video games on my phone in the bathroom before (although it’s rare that I find a need to sit in the bathroom for enough time that it would justify getting out the iPhone and playing some video games). But never in a public bathroom at work. And NEVER with the sound on. I mean, there are just certain things that you don’t do in a public bathroom.
Like talking on the phone. I’m sorry, but no. I have walked into the bathroom and heard people in the stalls, carrying on full-blown business calls. And, of course, the people who talk on the phone in the bathroom are generally not the kind of people who are able to speak with their indoor voices, so I had to try to go while someone was discussing the pricing structure of the contracts with Warner Brothers. And I was gassy! Did he expect me to try to toilet quietly because he was carrying on contract negotiations in another stall? If he did, I am proud to say, he was very disappointed. The bathroom stall does not equal your office. And what must the guy on the other end of the line been thinking? Because, let’s be honest, I had eaten leftover Mexican food for lunch and I was doing my best motorboat impersonation.
But my real question is this: WHY? Did this man think that carrying out a business call in the bathroom was appropriate? And did he think it was more or less appropriate to do so in a PUBLIC bathroom. I mean, it’s one thing while you’re sitting on the pot at home, but it’s another thing at work with four other people in the bathroom. Heck. I don’t even like carrying on work conversations with my co-workers at adjoining urinals. There are certain rituals which should be undertaking with a respectful silence, and the bathroom is one of those rituals.
So, gentle reader, what inappropriate behavior have you experienced in public bathrooms? Are there certain things that it’s okay to do at home, but not in public restrooms? Do you feel the need to cart a newspaper with you every time you sit on your throne?
Discuss.
P.S. While we’re on the topic, try your hand a The Urinal Game, to test your knowledge of men’s room etiquette. (It’s a clean link…no pun intended.)
So, gentle reader, it has been a long time since I have graced the world-wide internets with more pointless ramblings about my relatively boring life and significantly janky mental processes. I am here, at last, to remedy that situation. You may ask yourself why I have managed to let the world be without my biting wit and clever repartee. If, as I suspect, you are one of the masses clamoring for my illuminative insights, I can only beg with utmost humility for your pardon, and pray that your infinite patience will bear sway in your beneficent and merciful judgements of me.
For shizzle.
I wish I had more to discuss in my life, thus making my blogs actually, oh, I don’t know…interesting. Unfortunately, my life is boring, and therefore, my blogs are boring. (Isn’t it astonishing how that works?) Tonight, I finished the last bit of homework for my final class of the 2008 school year: Business Strategy for Competitive Advantage. It was almost as much fun as it sounds. (Actually, it was painfully easy…especially for a course this late in my education. But I’m not complaining.)
My MBA is, as they are wont to say in one of those sports with balls and men in tights, rounding third and headed for home. I have finished all my core classes, and only have three more courses left until I get a little piece of paper saying I’m all business-y. Fortunately, I have nearly three and a half weeks before my next round of classes begins–the largest break I have had since I began my program in September of 2007. My next two courses are Project Management classes, which is my specialization. So, in addition to being all business-y, I also get to learn how to be all manager-y. Should be fun, eh?
Work has gotten, well, insane. The holiday season is generally a fairly slow time for the video industry, as most rolling television shows go on a hiatus of sorts in order to give networks an opportunity to air holiday specials like the Charlie Brown special. (By the way: have you actually seen the Charlie Brown Christmas Special? It’s horrendous. Why do we consider this a classic? It’s stupid, poorly drawn, horribly acted, and doesn’t have a very good message. Pretty much the only thing to recommend it is the jazzy soundtrack by Vince [insert name I know how to pronounce but can't spell...Guaraldi or something like that.]) This year, however, the powers that be at work have decided that this would be a perfect time to release a new digital asset management system (we’re calling it the DAM), and I have been tasked with acting as the liason between the developers and my time. I also volunteered to do the training on the tool. So, I’ve been exceptionally busy.
But, despite all that, I’ve managed to keep my holiday spirits up. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing my holiday shopping (I love shopping), decorating, baking TONS of Cookies, and listening to Christmas Music. In fact, if you notice the little Zune badge to the right of this blog, you’ll notice that I’ve been listening to a LOT of Christmas Music. All the cooking and baking has kept my apartment smelling good and toasty warm, which is awesome, because I can’t turn on my heat without setting my Christmas tree on fire. Good times.
Last year around Christmas, I was an absolute emotional wreck. Mommie-Dearest-No-More-Wire-Hangars crazy mixed with a dash of jealous lover and followed with a Richard Simmons chaser. Not so much with the fun. This year, though, I’m loving the holiday season. I don’t even mind the omnipresent gray, wet skies. I got a tree, put up lights, and, thanks to the 70% off sale at Kohl’s, started my own little Christmas Village.
In fact, I’m so content, I am only slightly perturbed about how much weight I’ve put on in the last week. But, that’s okay. I still haven’t broken the verboten 200 lb. barrier…although I’m getting closer and closer all the time. So, in general, life is pretty good. Now that I’m out of school, I will have some more time to blog, so expect to see a little more of me on the interwebs.
Merry Christmas!
A few years ago, I thought it would be a good idea to haul my butt out of bed at 3:45 in the morning to go to a door buster sale at Shopko to get a cheap 42″ LCD TV. Great idea, right? WRONG! For those of you who have never had the glorious experience, let me explain it to you: You get three hours before the butt crack of dawn, it’s freezing cold outside, you get to the store, where there are people who have been waiting in line since the moment they finished their Thanksgiving dinner the night before camping out waiting to get in.
People, rather than lining up, try to cheat and cut their way into the store. Those waiting in line shout insults and obscenities at them. The doors open, it’s pandemonium, and the store only had two of what they were advertising in stock anyway.
At least, that was my experience. The store advertised these TVs, then only stocked two of them. TWO! I was the second person to the TVs, but the person who got there before me took both of them.
It was a great way to start the holiday season.
This year, however, we are excited to learn that Black Friday isn’t all about shouting obscenities and depriving oneself of sleep in order to save a few dollars. No, this year, it’s about death!
That’s right, boys and girls, apparently Santa is going a little further if you’ve been a bad child this year. First comes the story of a Wal-Mart employee who got trampled to death when he opened the doors to let in the slavering crowds at 5am. Not only was he trampled to death, but four other people were also taken to the hospital, including a woman who was 8 months pregnant. (Although, what you’re doing at a door buster sale if you’re 8 months pregnant is beyond me. Of course, going to Wal-Mart is beyond me too.)
Then, we have a story of a California Toys-R-Us, in which two men whipped out handguns and started spraying bullets in the middle of the door buster rush because their girlfriends/wives/baby mamas got into an argument over some toy. Two were killed.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a good sale as much as the next guy. Or, more accurately, as much as the next girl. But murder for a bargain? I know the economy is rough, but it’s not that bad. I can almost understand the trampling…crowds can get out of control. (Although, I still don’t understand why anyone in their right mind would choose to shop at Wal-Mart. If you wanted to sell your soul to the Devil, you might as well get something more out of it than 6 cents off a can of corn.) I can’t under any circumstances, understand why you’d think it was a good idea to bring a handgun to a Toy ‘R’ Us, though.
This holiday season is supposed to be about love, and family, and peace on Earth. It’s not about toys, or sales. It almost makes me wish for the time where if you got a stick of peppermint candy and an orange in your sock, it was a good Christmas. Almost. The commercialism of the holiday is not going to go away any time soon, however. I know that, and I’m sort of okay with that.
But I think it’s time that holiday retailers ban the door buster sales. No more time-based sales, with super-limited quantities. Open your doors at the regular time, have your regular sales (or maybe even better sales across the board), and work hard to make it a pleasant experience for everyone. This Christmas tradition is one that needs to be abolished, because the stories of deaths and injuries occurring at the hands of people who are just trying to get their filthy mitts on a toy or piece of electronics on the cheap are going to increase, not decrease. It’s apparent that, as a society, we have come to care more about saving $100 on a TV at Christmas than we do about the lives of other human beings.
My condolences go out to the family of the Wal-Mart employee who got trampled, and I hope that Wal-Mart, in uncharacteristic fashion, actually takes care of the family of the man who gave his life to the pursuit of 25% off a Tickle-Me-Elmo extreme. (This is unlikely, as the 34-year-old victim was only a temporary worker who was hired for the holiday season–and Wal-Mart is renown for mistreating its regular employees, let alone its holiday temps.) As for the Toys ‘R’ Us incident, quite frankly, the two morons who pulled out their guns and shot each other to death got exactly what they deserve, and I’m just glad they removed themselves from the gene pool.
So, Black Friday (the ugly side) is behind us now, and we can get on with the real reason for the season. FOOD! :)
Nov 282008
As a holiday, Thanksgiving is okay. But I really like Black Friday. There are several reasons for this:
1. It is now officially okay to listen to Christmas music. (Despite what my sister and KOSY 106.5 tell you, Christmas music should never start playing on Halloween day.)
2. I get to go shopping and buy a bunch of stuff for cheap.
3. No WORK!
4. It’s time to decorate for Christmas.
5. Leftovers
This year, the only of these things I couldn’t partake of was #5, as I enjoyed that fabulous Thanksgiving buffet. But that’s okay. I ate the large meal at 2:00 yesterday afternoon, and didn’t have my next meal until 8:00 PM today…so it’s like I had two extra meals of leftovers saved up.
I was going to go into work for a few hours today, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I laid in bed at 9 AM, trying to decide if I’d rather have the money or the day off, and as is usually the case, laziness won out. Normally, one would think: “You know, since I’m not going in to work today, and thus will not be making the money I would have otherwise made, perhaps it is best that I not go shopping.” But, of all the things I have been accused of being, normal is not one of them. So today was all about the Christmas decorations.
Last year during the holidays, as I’ve mentioned previously, I was in a pretty bad funk. I didn’t even really bother decorating for Christmas. And I certainly didn’t get a tree. This year, however, I wanted to decorate. And decorate hard. So I went into the storage closet on my patio and pulled out my decorations. I have to say…my decorations were pretty pathetic. Mostly lights. When I was living in Provo, my friends and I went whole hog on lighting the house. But in an apartment, there’s no need for dozens of strands of lights, so I needed something else.
So, I got a real tree (7.5′ Douglas Fir for $20…it’s nice to have the supplying farm only about 30 minutes from the store!), and needed to get a slew of ornaments and the like. I wanted to have one of those hyper-decorated trees…the kind you find in department store windows. But I could have easily spent $500 on ornaments and decorations. And I’m not really interested in trying to single-handedly save the economy with my decorations for my tree.
I also decided that I wanted to start my own little Christmas Village. My mom had one starting when I was in High School, and I just like them. Plus, since it almost never snows here, it makes me feel all Christmasy. Kohl’s was having a 55% off sale on their decorations, and I had a coupon for another 15%. So, I got a church, a pet store, a movie theater, a house, a clock tower, a bunch of trees, some figurines, etc.
Then I came home and spent 3 hours decorating. The tree looks fantastic, even if I say so myself. The apartment smells like a pine forest. The dog is thoroughly perplexed about the tree that has appeared in our living room (and I’m thoroughly grateful that he never learned to pee like a boy dog and still squats when he goes…no worries about him marking the tree as his territory.) It feels Christmasy in my apartment again. I’m glad that I’m not all mopey and depressed again this year, and that I can enjoy my favorite holiday ever.
So, all in all, I had a very good day. And best of all, the weekend hasn’t even started yet! SQUEE!
I’ll take pictures when it’s light outside so I can get better ambient lighting, and I’ll post them later.
Nov 272008
Thanksgiving 2008 was an interesting one. It seemed more like just another day off with a FANTASTIC meal smack dab in the middle. Last year, I went to all the hassle (and expense) of cooking a giant meal for myself, and at the last minute, I invited over a friend of a friend who I hardly knew because she didn’t have anywhere else to go and I didn’t want to cook a giant meal just for myself.
This year…not so much. I’ve had so little time to simply relax and chill over the last year that the last thing I wanted to do on a precious day off was spend the whole day cooking for just myself. So, back in September, a co-worker told me about a massive Thanksgiving day buffet at Kaspar’s a special events and catering restaurant in Seattle. It’s run by a chef named, you guessed it, Kaspar, who is a five-time James Beard nominee, and has been named the Best Chef in the Northwest several times over. Suffice it to say, he’s pretty good.
This Thanksgiving feast was one unlike any I’ve ever experienced. There were easily 125 different dishes. There was traditional Thanksgiving fare: Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing, etc. But there was also so much more. A few of my favorites:
- The best ham I’ve ever eaten in my life (with a Pike Place Market Ale and Honey glaze)
- White Vanilla and Maple Roasted Potatoes
- Orzo salad with amazing yogurt/dill dressing
- Red Cabbage/Apple Salad
- Pulled Pork
- Cheddar Jalapeno Bacon Cornbread Muffins
- Maple and Burbon hot-smoked Wild Washington Salmon
- Oil Poached Albacore Tuna w/ Black Sesame Seeds
- Persimmon Sorbet
- Cranberry Tiramisu
- And on and on and on
I had five full plates of dinner and two full plates of dessert. I made myself sick, and I probably didn’t even try half of the stuff on the menu. It was so worth it. It wasn’t the same as gathering around the family dining room table loaded down with all your traditional Thanksgiving fare (and THANK GOODNESS, there was no nasty green bean casserole). And it certainly wasn’t the same as having everyone together. But honestly, I think I’ve had maybe three Thanksgivings with my family since 1995. I’ve just always been across the country, and it’s never seemed worth it to me to spend hundreds of dollars to fly across the country for two days and a big dinner.
This year, I’m thankful I had a place to go for an amazing meal, and that I could afford it, and appreciate the artistry of the meal.
I’m grateful I have a job that pays me well, especially considering the state of the economy. I’m grateful that there are a few people at work who appreciate my abilities and fight to keep me involved in some very exciting and challenging projects. I’m grateful that, for the first time in my life, I get to be on the “inside” of something that excites me. I’m grateful that my NDA allows me access to new technology and toys that I get to play with before everyone else.
Despite the gray and wet of winter in the NW, I’m very grateful to be living in Redmond. And on a lake. I’m grateful for my apartment, which feels more like home to me than any place I’ve lived since I left home after high school. I’m thankful for my fireplace, which I use far more often than I should.
I’m extremely grateful for my family, who puts up with my calling them 4-5 times a week just to talk. I’m thankful I have parents who are more like friends than parents, and who truly care about my life. I’m grateful for my brother and sister, and the families that they’ve started, and the joy and satisfaction they find in their families.
I’m grateful for a car that runs, for gas I can afford, for the clothes that keep me warm. I’m very grateful for indoor, running hot water. I’m grateful that I have my own washer and dryer, and dishwasher.
I’m grateful that I’m nearly finished with my MBA, and that I’m still sitting on a 4.0 GPA. I’m grateful that I’ll be finished with it before the summer hits, so I’ll actually be able to enjoy my summer this year.
I’m SO grateful for my dog. I don’t have kids, but I love this animal almost as much as if he were my child. For someone who spends most of his time alone, having something/someone in your life who is always happy to see you, who never judges, and never cares if you screw up, it’s a life saver. I love that Luke makes me laugh all the time, that he gets me out and doing things, and that he gives me affection, even when I’ve done nothing to earn it.
I’m grateful for my gorgeous TV. And my camera. And my Zune. And my Video Games. Any computers. And especially my Tivo. I love the fact that I am allowed to own and enjoy my toys.
I’m thankful for my mind, and how, my entire life, I’ve been granted the opportunity to learn so many fascinating things. I’m thankful for my parents who taught me, “Fool that I was, I didn’t know it couldn’t be done, so I went ahead and did it.” I’m grateful for books (and audiobooks!) and for the lifelong love of reading that has only recently been rekindled. I’m thankful that my thirst for knowledge has not been quenched, and will probably never be quenched as long as I live.
I’m grateful that, this year, I’ve learned to be okay with me. That I’ve started to let go of the people and things that were hurting me, and that I’ve actually learned to enjoy my solitude. I’m grateful that I only feel lonely every now and again, instead of all the time. And I’m thankful that time does heal wounds.
And I’m really thankful that, this year, I get to go home for Christmas!
So, yeah, I complain a lot. I find the down side to nearly everything. But there are a lot of good things too.
I hope you all had a happy and fulfilling Thanksgiving 2008!
Nov 262008
I know I’m not the only person in the world who has this problem, but lately it’s been a bit of a struggle for me. I have a hard time letting go of things: Stupid decisions I’ve made, people who have hurt me, dumb decisions people make which make my life difficult, broken expectations…you know…life. There are a lot of people in the world who seem to be able to take the bad things in life that happen to them and give them their proper importance, which is to say, very little. I am not one of those people.
Here’s a for instance. It’s 11:45 at the exact moment I’m typing this sentence. (That will be important in a moment) For the last two days, I’ve gotten seven calls from a company trying to convince me to purchase credit protection on a credit card that I recently used to purchase something. They start calling at about 5:30, and continue calling every 30-45 minutes. I have told them to stop calling, hung up on them, and even let the phone ring, but they continue to call.
I’ve been feeling like I’m getting a little sick, so I went to bed much earlier tonight than I normally do. I climbed into bed at about 10:15, and for some reason, my mind got stuck on these phone calls. And I got furious. I was making up a to do list for the next time I get a phone call. I was going to find out what company had referred me to this annoying telemarketing firm. I was going to submit a complaint to the national do-not-call list. I was going to cancel the credit card that they were referring to. I was going to cuss out the next person who called me.
Seriously? It’s a freakin’ telephone call. A TELEPHONE CALL! And it caused me to lay in bed for nearly an hour and a half, fuming to the point that I finally had to get out of bed and futz around on the computer until I could calm down enough and get my mind on something else.
Oh that this were an isolated incident. I seem to be completely incapable of letting go of things that annoy, frustrate, anger, or hurt me. I’ve even been frustrated by people being mistreated on television shows. I got so upset with one of the characters on The Biggest Loser that it made me sick to my stomach for the rest of the night. I had bad dreams about the Lindsay Lohan character mistreating Betty on Ugly Betty. SERIOUSLY?
It’s not just recent stuff, either. I actually kept myself awake a couple of weeks ago, feeling stupid. The reason? When I my family moved to Michigan in 1987, I met the girl who lived across the street. (I was nine). She mentioned something about beat boxing, of which I had never heard. She explained that it was just making sounds with your mouth. I said, “I can do that!” and started making stupid squelching noises with mouth–having no clue what beat boxing was actually supposed to be. She looked at me like I was a moron (which, let’s be honest, I was) and said sarcastically, “Oh wow. That’s really good.” That stupid memory has actually tormented me for the last 21 years. I am 30 years old and for some reason, every now and again that dumb memory pops in my head, and I feel stupid and embarrassed all over again.
(And let’s not get me started on what happens if my mind starts trying to determine how I’ll cope when one of my parents dies or when I have to put my dog to sleep.)
I wish I was one of those people who can just turn it off. They express their frustration appropriately, they feel their emotions, and they let them pass, and they go about their lives, happy and carefree. Meanwhile, I’m a habitual wallower. I can only image what an absolute train wreck I would be if I ever had kids. I’d probably never sleep again.
Seriously. Keeping myself awake feeling stupid over such STUPID things! I’ll just say this: I understand why some people drink.
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