2010 June » One Off

I’ve Got News for You

Jun 292010

Up until about two months ago, I used to be a news junkie. I would listen to NPR, podcasts, read online news sources. On the weekends, I listened to Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR and would often do better than the guests because I knew everything that was going on. But lately, something has happened. I just don’t care about the news anymore.

Actually, I think it’s a little more active than just not caring about the news anymore: I’m tired of being in the middle of the world. If the media is to be believed, the entire world is falling down around us, and there’s nothing of redeeming value left in the world. Every politician is crooked, every environment is on the verge of collapse, the economy will never recover, there is war on every corner of the globe, no marriage can ever last, hate runs rampant everywhere, and everyone is being discriminated against all the time.

Well, I’ve decided that’s a bunch of baloney, and I’m tired of having it force fed to me. Much like my radical moderation when it comes to life in general, I find the extremism of the media far too much to handle on a daily basis. The only things that ever get reported or promoted are the extreme things. And, more harmfully, extremely BAD things.

I hate the fact that I have to cloister myself away from world events in order to be able to recognize the good and peaceful things in this world. But, as I get older, I’m finding that I’m more and more desperate for that goodness and peace, and less and less interested in being a part of the world that seems hell-bent on trying to take it away from me. The (hopefully) wiser I become, the more I’m really beginning to truly understand the phrase, “Ignorance is bliss.”

And I’m finding that it’s more than just the news. I find myself watching less and less television, fewer and fewer movies. There’s just too much slutty, sleazy, trashy, disgusting, and disgraceful behavior on display everywhere. The fact that shows like Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of ________________ are not only on the air, but insanely popular is heart-breaking to me. Why are we glorifying disgusting behavior, tension, and misplaced priorities?

I know that this post makes me sound like the crabby old people who write into the newspaper. And I suppose that’s all right. I would like to be able to be a part of the world and to be “up” on current events. But I just can’t take it emotionally anymore. The constant disintegration of morals and decency is wearing on me. (And, no, I’m not necessarily talking about religious morals and decency…I’m talking about HUMAN morals and decency.)

I’m not naïve enough to believe that if we could somehow rewind the clock and go back to some time in the past 60 years ago, that we would be living in some idealistic version of modern life. There have been the same sorts of influences in the world for thousands of years. It’s just that modern information life makes these changes so blatant and in your face that it can become impossible to escape.

Unless you hide yourself away. Which is what I do. Now I don’t listen to the news. I listen to audiobooks. They’re far more entertaining, and they entertain without dragging me down.

So, for me, this is it. My slow slide into ignorance and obscurity begins now. I plan on learning first-hand if it really is bliss.

A New Era of Blogging

Ramblings, Television, The Technology Whore, Work 1 Response »

Jun 282010

You may not realize it, Gentle Reader, but tonight begins an entirely new era of blogging for yours truly. No, my blog will not become interesting, or trenchant, or even moderately cohesive. There has been no seismic change in my life that will illicit ream upon ream of writing to delight and enthrall the senses. No, this new era is ushered in by something far more mundane.

I can now blog from my sofa.

That’s right. Today, I received my early birthday present to myself: my new Dell laptop. This may not seem like a particularly fascinating development. And, let’s be honest…it’s not. But it’s unusual for me. I’m not usually a fan of the laptop. I like having a full-sized keyboard and a big screen (or, in my case, two big screens.) But I figured it was time to get a laptop…especially for the kind of work I’m going to be doing with my new job. Since I have to be transporting video back and forth between my studio at home and my office, this just seemed like a perfect fit.

Plus, now it gives me the opportunity to live-blog TV shows. Not that I will actually do that, but I could do that if I were so inclined.

—-

The new job, for those who keep asking, is coming along pretty well. It’s a great company at which to work. (Is that grammatically correct? I was trying not to use a preposition to end that sentence with.) The job is enjoyable and very challenging for me, which is a nice change of pace. The environment is very different than my last job. At Microsoft, I was one of the oldest members of a very young team. The team was very relaxed, fun, and—well—hilariously unprofessional. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, by more in a walking-hr-violation-make-me-laugh-all-the-time sort of way. Because it was a younger group of folks, there were a lot of friendships between the people at work. If it weren’t for some of the folks I met on that job, I wouldn’t talk to anyone else…ever. Pretty much my only relationships here are from friends that I made on that job.

The new environment is equally relaxed, but that’s about where the similarities end. It’s a much more staid environment. The people are wonderful, and quite friendly. But I’ve gone from being one of the oldest of a young team to one of the youngest of my new team. Most of my teammates have families, and several have children. It is, I imagine, much more like a regular work environment than I was used to. It’s not bad, by any means…just very different. I like the folks I work with a lot, and they’ve been extremely helpful. But I don’t see any of my current co-workers and I hanging out on the weekends.

That being said, the company’s great. In two days, I will have amazing health insurance. It’s wonderful knowing how much every paycheck is going to be, even if I take time off. I really enjoy working with the clients, and I think that as I begin to have a better understanding of our system, I’ll be able to provide a lot of value to the company.

—-

I’m in the mood to start watching a new TV show, and I’m trying to figure out which shows I’d like to see. I’ve thought about watching the X-Files from beginning to end. I’m half-way through My Name is Earl which was funny for the first season, but afterwards I lost interest. I think what I’m going to pick up next is The West Wing. I love some of the actors in that show, especially Bradley Whitford and Allison Janney (or however her name is spelled.) Plus I need a show that’s a little more, well, intellectual.

Besides, I need something to tide me over before Warehouse 13 comes back on in July.

If you’re not watching this show, I’d highly suggest it. Funny, well-written, and inventive. Plus, Eddie McClintock!

—-

So, you may have noticed that there’s something a little different about my blog theme. I’m trying a few different things, and I have latched on to a new theme yet. I like the layout of this theme…especially the fact that the categories are listed as a drop-down above. But, I still need to make some customizations if this is the theme I decide to stick with. I’m not a HUGE fan of the white text on black background…but it’s hard to find a theme that I actually like. Plus this theme has the comments link at the top of the post, which doesn’t make any sense at all. Actually, the more I think about it, the less I want to keep this theme.

If anyone can suggest WordPress themes that they like, let me know. I’m a tough cookie when it comes to themes.

A Summer Day = Bliss

Food, Gratitude, Luke The Dog, Pictures, Ramblings 1 Response »

Jun 262010

I don't know about y'all, but I love me a beautiful summer day in the Pacific Northwest. Maybe it's just because I only get three of them a year, but the summers up here are just spectacular. It started off overcast and cloudy, but by 2PM, the sun had come out, and it was in the low 70s, clear, and wonderful. And, of course, I took advantage…even though I had originally planned on working on my new Open Book Audio website today.

Ah well.

I started the day by sleeping in, followed by taking Luke for a mini-walk, eating breakfast, and then taking a nap. (Less than 30 minutes after I woke up, mind you.)

When I finally did wake up, I decided I wanted to go to the Strawberry Festival in Bellevue, so I sent a Tweet out to my (four) friends to see if anyone wanted to go, and I ended up hearing back from my friends Bill & Brit. They were out and about, so we went to go see what the Strawberry Festival was all about.

In general: it was pretty lame, I have to say. But, like most festivals, there was food. I had a big ole bratwurst from a German lady with an awesome accent that I had to try really hard not to imitate. Then, as is fitting a Strawberry Festival, I got some Strawberry Shortcake. I've decided that, in general, I don't really like shortcake. It's like a biscuit someone overbeat, undercooked, and then left out to get stale. Plus it's not sweet enough. I prefer my "shortcake" to be made with pound cake or angel food cake. Or, I'm ashamed to admin, those little cake cups which are basically Twinkies without the filling.

I also bought a full flat of Strawberries, which I would later put to good use.

After the Strawberry yawnfest, we went over to Marymoor dog park to photograph the dogs. Luke, of course, had to come along, and he managed to enjoy himself mightily. His favorite trick is to hop out of the water, run over to the nearest person, and do this:

Of course, there's no possible way that he could be expected to actually shake off away from people. He must to it around others.

After the park, we came back to the apartment (as mentioned in the previous post) to let Luke dive off the dock a little bit. Can you tell that I have a dog who loves water?

For dinner, I made penne pasta with pesto made from the basil and parsley in my container garden on the patio. Then, after taking Luke out three times in an hour (he swallows a lot of water when he swims) we curled up on the bed and took one of those epic Saturday naps that can only come when you're worn out from being outside in the sun after not having experienced it for 14 years. It's the summer version of a Turkey coma. A Vitamin D Coma, if you will.

A quick trip to the grocery store, and it was time to head back to the strawberries. I made strawberry "shortcake" with pound cake, strawberry freezer jam (YUM!), strawberry sorbet, and then froze half a flat of strawberries for my daily morning smoothie.

And, to cap off the perfect day, there was a full moon tonight, and I managed to sneak out to the dock to get some cool photos, a couple of which are HDR photos.

I may have strawberry farts for the next three days as a direct result of this Saturday, but I don't care. I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm content, and I'm ready for bed.

It was a perfect day.

Luke is Awesome

Luke The Dog, Pictures 1 Response »

Jun 262010

I went to the dog park with a couple of friends of mine from my old job, both of whom are photographers (and animal lovers) and we enjoyed playing with Luke and taking pictures. After we came back to my apartment, we took Luke down the dock and had him do a few dock dives for us. Bill caught some great ones. They turned out really well.

A) I’ve got a cool dog.

B) You can find Bill’s photos at http://punishedpixels.com

The Story of Debt, Continued.

Money No Responses »

Jun 242010

This is another chapter of the continuing saga of my debt, bankruptcy, getting into debt, and trying (this time without bankruptcy) to get out of debt entirely. I’m far too lazy to go look up all the other entries and link them here so if you’re interested, you can do your own darn work. Ya whippersnapper!

I started my last job in September of 2007. It was the first time in my life where I worked for a company that actually provided me with a 401k, let alone a 401k match. I would contribute 5% of each paycheck, and they would contribute 4%. It was cool. (Less cool: when they cut the 401k match to 2%…but that wasn’t entirely the company’s fault.) Plus, the money was locked away and I couldn’t do anything with it, so that was good too.

Well, when I left that job a month ago (!) and started my new job, I had a decision to make. As I saw it, I had one of two options. I could

Keep the money where it was and hope that something good happened to it,
Roll the money over into an IRA where I could have a little more control, or
Withdraw the money, pay the penalties and taxes, and then use what I had saved to pay off credit cards.

I thought a lot about it, asked my parents, did the math, and eventually decided that the best use of that money was option #3–I was going to empty out the 401k, then pay off my credit cards. My credit cards have interest rates between 23% and 30%, while my 401k/IRA would only be likely to average 12% a year. Plus, I’m currently paying about $500 a month in credit card bills that, once these are paid off, I will be able to funnel into my retirement. So, I figured that, overall, this would be a much better move.

Let’s talk about those credit cards, shall we?

Merrick Bank

Merrick Bank focuses on finding people who are in the thralls of bankruptcy hearings, and then offers them credit cards under the guise of helping them rebuild their credit. They start with miniscule limits of $500 and 29.9% interest rates, gradually increasing the credit limit as you prove you can handle the payments. The also try to upsell you on everything under the sun. You can’t log into your account without being assaulted by another offer to get credit protection or insurance or some such thing. This account is still open, but I no longer have the card. I cut it up.

Credit Limit: $1850. Utilized Limit: $1387

Chase / Best Buy

This card was originally a Circuit City card which I used to buy my television back in the fall of 2007. I used the card because I got a minor discount, plus a 24-month same as cash payment plan. When Circuit City closed, Chase EVER so kindly just switched my card from Circuit City to Best Buy. We all know me and electronics, though. I’ve actually paid this card off in full THREE times in the last three years. I finally got so tired of paying the card off over and over again, so I cut this card up as well. The account is still open, but since I have no card, it’s a little tricky to use.

Credit Limit: $1,500. Utilized Limit: $1154

Kohl’s

I actually just got this card back in February, and I only got it so I could get all the deals. I pay this card off in full every month. I’ve never paid any interest on this card, and I have no intention of doing so. (It also helps that a) the card has a very small limit and b) that there’s nothing at Kohl’s all that expensive.)

Credit Limit: $400. Utilized Limit: $68.

Dell

Ah, Dell. I have no idea why they keep giving me credit…but they do. I originally had a Dell account back before the bankruptcy. Back then (making my $12,000 a year) I had a limit of $3,800. Of course, the fact that Dell sells computers is a trouble spot for me, but where I really get into trouble is in their digital camera section. All of my digital cameras from 2001 onward have come from Dell. After the bankruptcy, I got the line of credit again because I had a studio computer that died and painful and ignominious death, and needed to be replaced quickly. That wasn’t so bad. Then I started buying camera gear, and quickly maxed out the line. This line of credit doesn’t come with a card–all I need is my social security # and my mother’s maiden name, and I can make purchases. So I will actually be closing this account out once it’s paid off.

Credit Limit: $5,500. Utilized Limit: $5,438.

Capital One

Capital One another company that had given me a credit card before the "Big B" and a few years afterwards, gave me a Platinum card. (I guess the fact that three years after bankruptcy I had a credit score in the low-mid 700s looked pretty good to them.) This is also the only actual credit card that I carry around in my wallet. I originally got it for "emergencies" and, for the most part, that’s how I’ve used it. It’s nearly maxed out as well, but that’s from dentist visits (5 cavities and a crown), glasses, new tires for the car, doctor’s visits, etc. I’ve also nickeled and dimed myself a bit with this card…picking up a video game here or there, or maybe a pair of shoes. But mostly big ticket expenses. They keep upping my credit limit which is flattering in a way, but also dangerous. My plan with this card, once paid off, is to ask them to lower the credit limit down to about $3000-$4000, and then keep it just for emergencies. And discipline myself to use it ONLY for emergencies.

Credit Limit: $5550. Utilized Limit: $5397.

It’s pretty obvious that I just don’t have control when it comes to my credit. So, despite all the advice to the contrary, I will be closing out the credit accounts as I pay them off. I’ll take a small hit to my credit score, but since I am not going to be buying either a car OR a house in the next long while, and I still have a Bankruptcy on my record for another year and a half, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Plus, I’m still paying on my car payment and on my student loans, so it’s not like I’m going to be out of the credit score game any time soon.

So, a couple of days ago, I initiated the process of emptying out the 401k. I will get charged 20% taxes on the contributions (which is actually less than I pay in taxes on my regular income) plus a 10% penalty for withdrawing the funds early. In about two weeks, I should get a check for the remainder, which should help me pay off Best Buy, Dell, Merrick, and about a third of the Capital One. Then, with those other monthly payments freed up, I should be able to get that paid off by the end of the year. I am planning on keeping that account open for emergencies (and because it’s got the lowest interest rates of all of my accounts.)

So, assuming all goes well, I could finally be credit card debt free by the end of the year. Now if I can just keep from talking myself into buying a new mattress (which I actually do kindof need) or a new car (which I don’t) or any new computers (other than the laptop I just bought myself for my birthday), I’ll be in good shape.

Oh yeah! And I actually paid off my first student loan last week! (Only $67,000 more to go…)

I can’t even begin to tell you what kind of party I’m going to have on the day I finally pay off all of my debt. It’s going to be AWESOME. I’m taking all my (2) friends out dinner. My treat. I’ll just charge it.

(KIDDING!)

Cluttered Thoughts from an Empty Mind

Ramblings No Responses »

Jun 232010

First things first: for the love of all that is good and holy, can we please a) stop talking about vuvuzelas and b) wipe all vuvuzelas off the face of God's green Earth?

Thank you.

Over the last few weeks, the day-to-day of my life has changed a fair bit…mostly in the arena of work. Before I switched jobs, I was working an 8am-4pm, fairly rigid, schedule with a 5 minute commute to work. Now I'm working an 8:30ish to 5:30/6:00ish schedule with a 20 minute commute. It's cut into my sitting-around-the-house-and-thinking-faux-deep-thoughts time.

It's also been suicide gray (or is it grey…I never remember) here for about seventeen years. We saw the sun yesterday and today (the first time since February), and it was nice, but now I've forgotten how to dress for warm weather. Also. I have a hard time believing that 65 degrees is warm weather. Yet I can't understand why I'm starting to sweat. Maybe it's because I am, once again, dangerously close to breaking my self-imposed weight boundary. Or maybe it's because my idea of exercise is going grocery shopping.

Luke isn't coping well with spending 10 hours a day in the house alone. He's started licking his paws a lot. And, because he's on this new food that's made mostly from Wild Salmon, his tongue has gotten very dark instead of the normal pink that most dog's tongues are. So as a result, his paws have turned the color of a chocolate lab. He looks like he's wearing little socks. I feel sorry that he has to stay inside for 10 house, but unfortunately, that's just life. Until I can find a job where I'm allowed to work from home or take the dog into the office with me, I don't see much of an option.

And now I have guilt.

On yet another unrelated note: Something happened between my last pair of contacts in 2007 and my new contacts that I got so I could see Toy Story 3. I can actually put them in without tearing up like I'm at Toy Story 3. Somehow, sticking my finger in my eyes doesn't bother me so much anymore. Just another sign that I must be dead inside.

Yeah, other than that, I don't have much to talk about. I'm not watching any awesome TV except for So You Think You Can Dance, which is providing me with my Allison fix. (Honestly, I don't think I've ever witnessed a more beautiful, incredible, amazing dancer in my life.) I've been listening to audiobooks a lot because I just can't handle the news or knowing about what's going on in the world. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. So, yeah, nothing really is going on. The next big happening for me is when my awesome sister comes to visit me in a month. Oh yeah, and my birthday is in a couple of weeks. Presents, gift certificates, or meals to fancy restaurants are accepted.

So, I Got Contacts…again.

Health, Rants, Videos No Responses »

Jun 152010

I’ve had bad eyes for a long time. I got my first pair of glasses when I was in 6th grade. (I VERY mistakenly thought that getting glasses was cool, and I was proud of them. I have since learned.)

About the time I hit my sophomore year, I decided I was tired of glasses and I wanted to try contacts. So, we went to NuVision in Albion, and I got my very first pair of contact lenses. It was hate at first sight.

See, I’ve got this thing about my eyes. Call me crazy, but the thought of purposely sticking my fingers into my eyes twice a day just doesn’t do it for me. I can’t even put in eye drops. And when I get that stupid glaucoma test where they shoot a puff of air into my eye…forget about it. To the casual observer, it looks like I’m being tased. In my eyeball. By Satan.

On top of that, I’ve got hooded eyelids, which will probably get worse with time. Some members of my family have even had to have corrective cosmetic surgery because their hooded eyelids were beginning to interfere with their vision.

All of this adds up to one major thing: I HATE contacts. I hate putting them in. I hate the itchiness in my eyes when I wear them. I hate it when they fold in half, roll back behind my eyeball, and cause my eyes to water so badly that I appear to be watching Elijah Wood in The War when he finds out his father is dead.

Eventually, I just stopped wearing them. Glasses were so much easier to deal with, and, since my eyebrows are invisible, they gave some definition to my face. I eventually discovered that there was a specific shape of glasses that I should wear that would complement the shape of my (giant) head, and eventually, I grew to like the way that glasses looked on me.

When I was ~~mentally ill~~ performing, contacts became a necessity again. I could either deal with the contacts or I could be blind onstage…so contacts it was. I bought my last pair of contacts just before starting performances of Crazy for You, which turned out to be my very last theatrical performance. After that, there just wasn’t much need for contacts.

I even went so far as to purchase prescription sunglasses. Normally, I would wear my contacts on road trips and when I went to amusement parks and the like, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to wear sunglasses. But once I got my prescription sunglasses, that became a non-issue as well.

Well, this last weekend, I finally broke down and decided to give contact lenses another go. I went to the optometrist’s office, got assaulted in the eye by the air compressor of doom, and walked out with a prescription for contact lenses. And I’ve had a headache ever since. Apparently (I didn’t know this) when you first get contacts, you’re only supposed to wear them for a few hours a day until you get used to them. The first day, I wore them for four hours. The next day, I wore them for 10. And now my eyes are so tired I can’t focus them anymore. I wore them another 10 hours today, and it was all I could do not to snap, and go off like Elvadine in The War when she tells Miss Strapford what’s what.

(I don’t know why I’ve got The War on my mind, but now I need to go watch it again.)

Anyway, suffice it to say, right now, "I’s can’t even see good, so I’m prolly not gunna graduate this year neither." It’s hard enough spending your whole day under flickering fluorescent lights in front of two computer screens. But add evil contact lenses on to that, and I’ve got a headache this big, and it’s got @#$% you @#$%ing @#$%ers written all over it.

And why might you ask, have I decided to torture myself with this miserable horrendousness. Is it masochism? Preparations for a suicide bombing attack? Mormon guilt? No. I’m doing this all for art. On Friday, I’m going to see Toy Story 3 at the nicest theater in the area. And because it’s only playing in 3D, I will need to wear 3D glasses. And Hell will sprout Otter Pops before I sit through that movie with glasses over my glasses. A’int Gunna Happen. Also, my glasses are at the point of falling apart, and it was either this or buy new glasses, and the contacts were cheaper.

So, if I seem crabby (or, more accurately, crabbier than usual) for the next couple of days, it’s probably because I’ve got a headache going behind my eyeballs so severe that it’s making my teeth hurt.

Seems that no matter what I do, I still have to suffer for art.

Toy Story 3: The Time Has Come

Movie Reviews, Ramblings, Reminiscing No Responses »

Jun 102010

I was really into movies growing up. Every weekend, my friends and I would hop into a car (usually our brown Mercury Marquis LS that we nicknamed "Grandma’s Tank") and we would drive from Albion to the next city of any real size, Jackson, where we would go to watch movies. Before the movie, we’d go to Meijer to get food, or I’d go to the candy store in the mall across the street to load up on Jelly Bellies (I love me some Jelly Belly Jelly Beans!) It wasn’t uncommon for me to see two or three movies in a weekend.

I saw everything that came out. From 1994 through 1996, I had managed to force down some incredible movies and some real stinkers. (Cutthroat Island, The Brady Bunch Movie, and The Arrival, to name a few of the stinkers.) I went to movies I knew I wasn’t going to like because, as previously mentioned, I saw everything.

I remember going to the theater for the opening weekend of the original Toy Story. I honestly wasn’t looking forward to it that much. The Toy Story trailers I had seen just didn’t look that interesting. I have always had a love affair with animation, but this computer animation didn’t look all that good to me, and the story didn’t seem that engaging. (As a side note, Pixar has always had amazing movies, but their movie trailers are never very enticing. They just don’t portray how incredible the films are. The only exception to the pattern was the first teaser trailer to The Incredibles which didn’t really tell you much about the movie, but still managed to tell you a bunch about the movie–all while being hysterical.)

As I sat in the theater on that Wednesday evening, thrilled to be out of school for the Thanksgiving holiday, and completely unprepared for what I was about to experience. From the opening moments of the scene with Andy playing with his toys, I was completely entranced with Toy Story. I was carried away with delight over everything. I had fancied myself a hard-nosed movie critic (as a 17 year old boy), but Toy Story was such an amazing accomplishment, both technically and artistically, that I found myself completely unable to analyze the movie and fully lost in the story.

I ended up going back to see Toy Story a total of five times in the movie theater. Each time I went back, I was taken aback by something I hadn’t noticed before: the texture of the grass and trees on the street outside, the musical underscoring, the funny little asides in the film (the house being sold by "Virtual Realty"). And despite repeated viewings, it never got old.

Toy Story II came out a few years later, and again, I approached it with trepidation. I had a more-than passing loathing of unnecessary sequels. Yet Pixar somehow managed to improve the technology, improve the story, and improve the emotion. And they struck on something that would prove to be pivotal to their stories in the future: they weren’t afraid to make the audience cry. I love a good weeper, and to this day, I still can’t see (or hear) the Jesse’s Song montage in Toy Story 2 without tearing up.

I only managed to see Toy Story II in the theaters four times, because, well, I was in college, and was busy and poor. But it quickly became my favorite Pixar movie, and even now, still holds the #2 slot.

Aside: If I had to rank the Pixar Movies in order from most to least favorite, they would be:

Finding Nemo

Toy Story II

Wall-E

Ratatouille

Toy Story

Up

The Incredibles

Cars

A Bug’s Life

Monsters Inc

And now, in five short days, Pixar will complete a 15-year journey with the release of Toy Story III. After 15 years and 10 incredible films (Monsters Inc. was an incredible film…even though it’s my least favorite of the bunch) I no longer have any doubts about Pixar "screwing it up." They know what they’re doing. They do it better than anyone else. I imagine that, at some point, they’ll have to put out a movie that just isn’t very good. But I don’t see it happening this time, or any time soon. They know how to tell a story, and I trust them enough that I am certain that they wouldn’t have put out another Toy Story movie unless they had another story to tell. And from what I’ve heard of the internet scuttlebutt, I’m going to need to bring a hankie with me.

The original Toy Story was about the magic and wonder of a new world, a child’s world. It was populated with well-rounded and honest characters stuck in a completely novel scenario. It was about the unending possibilities of this new digital technology as a masterful medium for storytelling. And, for many people, it represented a more simple time.

A lot has happened in my life over the last 15 years. I graduated from high school, college, and graduate school. I moved 26 times. I’ve loved and lost. I’ve become hardened and jaded. I’ve become an adult. I have to pay my bills, and go to work every day. Yet, the arrival of Toy Story 3 this coming Wednesday is like having your best childhood friend with whom you’ve lost touch show up on your doorstep and finding that you’re able to pick up exactly where you left off. And he brought you a puppy! I’ve spent the last 15 years fondly remembering and loving this story, these characters. When they were released in 3D as a double feature last year, I was transported back again despite the fact that I’ve probably seen these movies a dozen time apiece. And this coming Wednesday, I will be right there in the theater, ready to say hello to my old friends again.

I may not be able (or even want) to go back to my old 17-year-old self driving a big, gas guzzling Mercury Marquis to a theater in Jackson, Michigan to load up on Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. However, you can rest assured that on Wednesday night, I’ll be right there in the theater with my Jelly Bellies. I’m 15 years older, but I’m just as excited now as I was 15 years earlier when the closing credits ran for the first time on Toy Story.

Thanks, Pixar, for making such amazing, inspiring, life altering art. I can’t wait to see what you’ve done this time.

The Death of Moderation

Rants 8 Responses »

Jun 092010

I've been mulling over a topic recently that has been on my mind a great deal, trying to figure out how best to formulate a cogent blog post on my random and disparate thoughts when, out of the blue, a comment was place on an old blog post of well over a year ago that managed to solidify my thoughts and proved my yet-unformed thesis. (Let's not get into arguing about how specious that reasoning is, please. Or how long of a run-on sentence that was. I'm aware. Just go with me on this.)

The original post, which can be found here, was all about a bumper sticker I had seen on a car, which stated, "Freedom to Smoke Without Harassment." I went on to pontificate concerning the absolute idiocy of what I considered to be the only two meanings that could be derived from that bumper sticker. One year and two months later, a "gentleman" by the name of "Yourmom" posted the following comment on the blog post:

Your rant shows just how stupid and intolerant you are of others. Are you "allergic" to blacks and hispanics too? I would hate to know you, or god forbid be related to you. People that don't allow others to have a point of view other than their own are a cancer on this planet. Have fun worshipping hitler,and if you don't believe in MY FREEDOM TO SMOKE, do us all a favor and die from second hand smoke.

Charming, right? I thought so.

Yourmom, while obviously unable to read and comprehend even the most simply written of arguments, still managed to prove one major point: Moderation is Dead. I didn't want someone forcing me to inhale second hand smoke, and therefore I worship Hitler and deserve to die of second hand smoke myself. That makes sense.

The idea of calm, moderated, and reasoned thoughts and actions has become completely foreign to most people. We live in a world where only the most extreme views are featured on television or above the fold on a newspaper's front page. I even fall victim to the extremism myself sometimes, when I disagree with an opinion or practice.

Extremism is everywhere. The most atrocious behavior leads to the highest ranked television programs. Politicos are no longer able or willing to compromise or reach agreements. Food portions have ballooned out of control. Credit card debt has taken over the economy. Political correctness has run out of control, checked only by the most extreme hatred and prejudice.

Moderation is dead.

Take, for example, the current political climate and our sitting President. According to the media, Barack Obama is either the death knell of the American Dream or he is Jesus 2.0. He either wants to turn the United States into a Communist country or he will single-handedly fix the economy, provide us with perfect health care, legalize gay marriage, solve the housing crisis, and cause the sun to rise each day and the stars to shine each night.

Even those who are supposed to take a moderate or neutral stance are finding themselves unable to do so. Helen Thomas, the long-time White House correspondent, was a member of the media, responsible for reporting on our governmental happenings, should have been a bastion of objectivity. Yet, she couldn't help but spewing an extreme viewpoint on Israel. Rand Paul, self-professed Libertarian, recently discussed repealing the Civil Rights Act on the Rachel Maddow show (who, in all honesty, isn't the most moderate of people, either.)

Or take, for example, the media itself. On one hand, you have asshats like Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck, who equate Obama to Hitler (seriously…do these people understand what the definition of Fascism is?) On the other, you've got The Bachelorette, The Real Housewives of Orange County, or anything by Seth McFarlane, who are more interested in shocking and pushing the boundaries of decency than they are in entertaining. People have forgotten that comedy is supposed to be funny, not just offensive.

The left blames the right for being bigoted, closed-minded, prejudiced, and ignorant, while the right blames the left for being unrealistic, dangerous, aimless, and deluded. Neither side realizes that, in acting and saying these things, they are themselves being exactly what they hate their "opponents" for being. Each side is acting out the very stereotypes they project on the other side.

And the food world is no different. Kentucky Fried Chicken recently released a "sandwich" called the Double Down, a pile of deep-fried putrescence in which the sandwich consists of two slices of cheese, three slices of bacon, and special sauce sandwiched between two fried chicken breasts. Even the "normal" fast food has gotten out of control, with serving sizes reaching jaw-dropping proportions.

Yet, on the other hand, are the whole foods army who pontificate the importance of eating only locally grown, organic food, no matter how inconvenient or how much it costs. They aren't willing to rest until everyone and everything is a level 5 vegan (they won't eat anything that casts a shadow.) (Name that quote.)

This constant extremism has gotten to the point where we are losing site of the important things in our lives. How is it that we have gotten to a point where it is okay to threaten to kill another human being because they signed a piece of paper requiring health care? Where it is okay to fly a plane full of people and fuel into a skyscraper because you disagree with the country's ideals? How is it Obama's fault that the BP oil rig in the gulf exploded? Yet sure enough, I have heard appeals for Obama's resignation over the way this was handled. (And let's not even get into the whole hoopla over his citizenship status).

The main problem lies with the fact that, as both the people and the media in this country and abroad continue to get more extreme, those of us who stand firmly in the middle and try our best to come to some compromise that will benefit everyone find ourselves increasingly unable to be heard. When airtime is allotted only to the loudest and most ludicrous points of view, it is insanely difficult for the middle of the road to win any believers in the moderate way.

Those on the extremes can't seem to understand that you can disagree with them while not necessarily espousing their opposition's point of view. They don't understand that sometimes, you just don't care that much. And most importantly, they don't realize how much more effective they would be if they could stop pushing all the hellfire and damnation buttons at their disposal and try to create real discussion.

Actually, that's not true. They understand. And really, we have nobody to blame but ourselves. Glen Beck wouldn't have a television show on the air today if he didn't have a rabid audience. Bill Maher wouldn't be a bastion of late-night self-righteousness if there weren't a world of people willing to play along with his political masterbation (i.e., he's only pleasuring himself).

I think it's about time that those of us who stand in the middle need to raise our voices in a sort of Extreme Moderation. I'm tired of being presented with an endless line of politicians who pander to the extreme left or extreme right. I'm tired of the television shows that ridicule me or my personal beliefs. I'm sick of pundits who use Hitler as their go-to comparison whenever they disagree with something. I'm tired of a world where the only way you can be heard is to be the biggest crackpot, the meanest spirit, or the most wildly offensive is the one whose opinions get the most air time.

So moderates of the world, it's time that we stand up and make ourselves heard. Spout your moderation at the top of your lungs. Make sure everyone hears it. Do you best to make spread your message of moderation to the world. Let's see if we can't reign in the extremists on both side. I'm tired of Black Holes and Blinding Snowstorms. I'm ready for a few shades of grey.

Oh, and to the douchebag who told me to go back to worshipping Hitler…really? Really? Grow up.

MODERATES UNITE!

Epic Post Brewing. But Until Then, Angsty Dreams.

Ramblings, Reminiscing No Responses »

Jun 082010

So, I’ve got this idea for a really great blog post that I’ve been mulling over in my head for about two weeks, and I think I’m nearly ready to commit it to ~~paper~~ the interwebs, but I just haven’t been much in the mood lately.

Actually, I’ve been in a pretty serious funk lately. Not that this is anything particularly new with me. I have more emotional ups and downs than John Travolta’s movie career. This time, my "down" came upon me unexpectedly, and took me by complete surprise.

A few nights ago, I woke up having had a very realistic and very immediate dream regarding a friendship of mine that ended years ago because of some mistakes I made and some of the issues I was struggling with at the time. I thought I had gotten past the whole thing, but laying there in bed at 2:45 in the morning, gasping for breath, I felt like I had just travelling in time back to some of the darkest days of my life. Not to be too melodramatic, but I felt as though all of the shame, guilt, unfulfilled emotions, and pain came rolling right back in and I was back in a personal Hell all over again.

I normally don’t have dreams that I remember, let alone dreams that affect me so deeply, but this one still hurts. Even thinking about it now, it’s like someone is sitting on my chest and I’m having a hard time breathing. It’s been three days, and I can’t get the whole scenario and history out of my mind.

It’s amazing how fragile we can be sometimes. Overall, I had been quite happy in my little world of late. I was content to spend the time with my dog, or taking photos, or recording audiobooks, or cooking, or playing video games, or writing music, or any of the little things I do to fill up my days. I was leaving a job and starting a new one. I was thoroughly enjoying spending time with my family. Then, out of the blue, all of the emotions and feelings that I had fought so hard and for so long to set aside just bubbled right back up to the surface, and it was all there, all over again.

Intellectually, I am well aware of how ludicrous the whole situation is. But, to quote one of my own songs, "I’ve never handled my emotions/With a calm and steady hand." This friend has moved on with life and, from what I am able to gather from my internet stalking, appears to be very happy. The drama and difficulties that I created have probably been completely forgotten or referred to in an eye-rolling, "look at how silly he was" sort of fashion. My life and this person’s life diverged years ago, and trying to "make things right" now would only make things worse.

Well, I suppose that’s the nature of life, eh? There are some people in this world who are able to make mistakes and leave them in the past. People who, no matter the situation or scenario, are able to look upon the world with a positive attitude and see the good. Much like music comes to me as a natural ability, positivity and personal relationships comes naturally to them. They are able to "play" their relationships with others masterfully, creating a beautiful symphony of interpersonal ties. (Good grief, could I mangle this metaphor any further?) For me, personal relationships are very hard work with very little positive result. I make lots of mistakes, hurt myself and others, and generally leave a swath of personal devastation in my wake. Honestly, that’s why I find it easier (and far more satisfying) to seek solace in solitude. Otherwise, I just keep adding to my catalog of guilt-triggers, which is the last thing I need.

Or, at least that’s what it feels like tonight. Hopefully, in a few more days, I’ll be back to being content with my life the way it is. I just wish that I could finally forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made in the past and move on once and for all. Instead, I feel like I’ve always got these personal demons lurking in the periphery, waiting to rear their ugly heads to convince me that I’m a hopeless case, just when I’ve finally realized (once again) that I’m not.

Stupid dreams.

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Epic Post Brewing. But Until Then, Angsty Dreams.

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