It's Moving Day

Well, at last, the move into the new apartment has come and gone.  It was quite the weekend, I have to say.

Friday afternoon, I left work at about 2:30, went to grab some "food" (to quote Marge Simpson: "People do crazy things in commercials…like eat at Arbys!"), and then came back to my old apartment which was so full of boxes that Luke could barely find a place to lay down.  I have a lot of stuff.  I signed my new lease, paid my pro-rated rent for January ($129!) and got the keys.  I did a quick walkthrough of the new apartment.  I wasn’t sure which of the two rooms I wanted to be the master, and which I wanted to be the guest room/studio, so I made that determination, and then with the aid of a hand truck from the apartment complex shop, I moved nearly my entire apartment.  By myself.  In two and a half hours. 

In case you were wondering, I pretty much rock at moving. 

By 6:30 that night, with only one small interruption to throw up everything I had eaten for lunch a few hours earlier, I had moved everything out of my old apartment except my bed, my dresser, two sofas, and two tables.  I spent the rest of the evening until about 10:00 beginning to unpack.  At that point, I was exhausted and famished.  (Throwing up is draining).  I ran to Wendy’s to get "dinner", took a nice hot bath, and went to bed by 11:00, where I slept the sleep of the damned righteous.

Saturday morning dawned at 6:30, where I grabbed the dog and slipped back into the new apartment to continue unpacking.  The first order of business was to get the entertainment center set up, because the Verizon guy was coming "sometime between 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM."  (Which reminds me of another Simpsons quote: "Can you be home sometime between Tuesday and next June?")  So once I got all the boxes shifted around, unpacked the TV and Tivo, and got one of my computers set up to test the internet, I went to breakfast.  This time, I really treated myself: McDonalds!

Verizon came and went, lunch was provided by Quizno’s, and shopping was made possible thanks to a generous grant from Home Depot and Target.  Now that I have two bedrooms instead of just one, I needed to get additional towels, curtain rods, rugs, etc.  I also needed picture hangers, replacement screws for those I had stripped during the uninstallation process, and plastic conduit to run speaker wires along the ceiling since I decided it would be a good idea to mount my surround sound speakers on the ceiling.  (A side note, if you ever decide to do that, get a really good stud detector, use toggle bolts, or prepare to patch about 48 exploratory drill holes in your ceiling at a later date…I’m just sayin’.)  Dinner was provided by Pizza Hut.  And unpacking.  Lots and LOTS of unpacking.  Finished the kitchen.  Mostly finished the bedroom and master bathroom.

Sunday was the day that the (ridiculously overpaid) movers came to move the last few pieces of furniture.  It took them 38 minutes, and they walked away with a check for $155.  What a racket.  More unpacking.  Lunch by Panda Express.  More Unpacking.  Then the futon (also known as the guest bed) that I had purchased on Thursday night was delivered.  It’s more comfortable than I expected a futon to be.  (As a side note, if you come to visit me, you’ll even get your own bathroom.  That’s how much swankier my new Barbie Dream Apartment is.  More unpacking.  By the end of the day Sunday, the Living Room was finished, as was the dining room, and all of the boxes had been cleared out.  And Diary Queen was consumed for dinner.

Monday, after the longest day of work in the history of ever, I spent several hours finishing up the rewiring job on the recording studio, cleaning up the guest bedroom, and packing away my two giant rubbermaid totes of extra cables.  And tonight, I finally started cleanup work on the old apartment.  The majority of the time was spent patching holes.  It took two hours.  That’s a lot of holes.  If I ever move into another apartment, I have every intention of buying those 3M picture hanging strips that just come right off…even if it bankrupts me.  Man I hate spackling. 

So, as of this very moment, all I have left to do to be COMPLETELY moved in is:

• Finish setting up the guest bathroom
• Finish setting up the master bathroom
• Hang a few pictures
• Spend three weeks cleaning the old apartment. 

Actually, the old apartment is in pretty good shape, especially considering that I’ve been paying a professional to come in and clean it for me once a week.  There’s a lot of dog hair to vacuum up, and some dusty areas.  And there may be an oven whose self-cleaning cycle didn’t clean so much as emit noxious fumes for five hours.

As this is my 25th move, I have learned several things which will be of use to you if you ever decide to move in the future.

• It is imperative that you box up everything you own.
• Even if it’s awkwardly shaped and you only get one giant paella pan in the box
• All of the boxes should be basically the same size (or one of only a few sizes)
• ALL boxes should be closed fully and taped
• Please, for the love of all things holy, label your boxes
• It’s SO not worth it to go box scavaging at the grocery store.  Just buy your boxes.
• Home Depot has the best prices on boxes I’ve ever seen.  Even the big ones are less than $1.00 apiece.  $20 for 20 boxes of uniform size is worth the expenditure.
• If you are going to move by yourself, rent/borrow/steal and hand truck (aka dolly).
• Dogs often and regularly freak out when they see their environment start to change radically.  Sedation may be necessary if you don’t want to kill yourself tripping over a dog who is so freaked out he’s glued himself to your leg everywhere you go.
• Audiobooks are the perfect distraction while moving and unpacking.  Makes the time go so quickly.
• If you listen to an audiobook while moving, make sure it’s not a heart-felt and then gut wrenching true-life tale about a man and his dog that will leave you literally sobbing on the floor, surrounded by boxes, and hugging your thoroughly bewildered dog whispering pleas that he never die because you just don’t think you could take that.
• Packing is terrible, but unpacking is fun.  It’s like getting tons of Christmas packages in the mail all at once.  Also, you’ll discover stuff you’ve forgotten about.
• Remember, you can deduct your donations to Goodwill.  If you’re moving and you haven’t made at least three carloads to the Goodwill to get rid of stuff, you’ve not dejunked properly.
• Hot baths and/or hot tubs are mandatory after a move
• Wear clothes that you can get away with wearing three days straight when you can’t find your deodorant.  Layers work well.
• Vomiting while moving is not fun.  Avoid where possible.
• Fast food.

There are countless other lessons learned by moving.  But it’s 11:41, and I’m still exhausted.  Plus I have to be completely done by tomorrow night because my friend Mukluk is coming up to Seattle on Thursday and is going to be the first to Christen the futon of ultimate relaxation.  (You know, inasmuch as a futon can be anything other than pinched nerve time bomb.)  I will try to post pictures of videos of the new Barbie Dream Apartment this weekend or possibly earlier next week.  I still have that fancy camera I bought for Christmas I need to get some more use out of.