Dear @MartinandOsa: Seriously?

Dear Martin + Osa

I love your store.  I really, really do.  I shop there almost exclusively.  I have brought my friends to meet you.  I talk about you all the time.  I’ve even introduced you to my mom.  You’re the only store that manages to make stylish clothing for people who are too old to shop at American Eagle, but not old enough to shop at Mervyn’s, who aren’t interested in spending the equivalent of three month’s mortgage payments on a single jacket, and who don’t want to look as though they’re old enough to need black Velcro orthopedic shoes.  You are reasonably priced, but your clothes are of very high quality, and of a design that real people would generally want to wear. 

But I have to tell you.  This season’s collection is a complete and total fail for me.  I looks like a bad cross between hipster punk and snotty New England WASP.  If I wanted to look like a stuck up, rich retiree in Nantucket, I would buy my clothes from Nautica.  But a cable-knit navigator sweater with White Skinny Jeans (which should be outlawed entirely) is not a good look for anyone.  There is so much wrong with this collection it’s hard to know where to begin.

It pains me to see you stumble so, especially after such an awesome holiday season.  (I bought two shirts and four sweaters, so you know I’m devoted.)  But I honestly can’t get behind these rejects from a Yale college bookstore circa 1936.  I’m just glad that I was introduced to you before I saw these clothes, or I would probably never have bothered stopping by again.

Here’s to hoping that the Summer collection is little less embarrassing. 

Love, Matt.

P.S., Please, for the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE make the skinny jean die a slow and painful death.  Only 0.02% of the population has the body type capable of pulling off the skinny jean, and not a single one of those 0.02% is male.