Hello, blog readers and blog lurkers. Sorry I haven’t been writing much lately. I feel as though I’m having a difficult time coming up with pithy, insightful commentary about my life or the lives of those around me. And I don’t have any cute children to photograph and show off on my website. I’ve got a dog, but I already talk about him enough. I have toyed around with the idea of becoming a crazy cat lady, but my apartment isn’t big enough to have a litterbox laying around…especially since my dog has shown a marked interest in cat leavings, so that’s off the table for the short term, I believe.
My life has been relatively uneventful lately. I’m starting to decend into the annual Seattle Winter Doldrums, exacerbated by the fairly omni-present rain. This year it’s not bothering me as much as it has the last couple of years…probably because I’m on an earlier schedule at work, so I get to leave work while it’s still light outside. That, and I have a wall of windows in my cubicle, so I am able to see the sun for the 45 seconds a day it actually shines. The weather has been wet, but quite mild, and we’ve already got daffodils up at the apartment complex. They’re up about 2-3 inches already and we’re not even all the way through January yet.
I’m also getting ready for the big move. I’m excited for my new apartment, which I think will be extremely nice. I am ready to get over there. But I don’t like the moving process. I’m just moving 150 feet away, but I’ve already had to start packing up my stuff. I’ve done this enough that I’ve gotten pretty good at it, but it’s still a big time sink, my apartment is in a constant state of disarray, and I hate not knowing where all my stuff is when I need it. I sincerely hope that I can get the apartment complex to stop screwing me over when it comes to jacking up my rent every time my lease expires, because I’d like to stay in this new apartment for a good long while. Preferably until I get my bankruptcy off my credit history in a few years and have saved up enough money for a sizeable down payment. (Like that optimism? I’m working on it.)
Personally, things have been a little rocky. There are some family stresses right now which don’t affect (effect? I can never tell) me personally, but that have occupied my thoughts and worries quite a bit lately. I’ve been a little worried about money what with the double rent that I’ll be paying for two weeks next month. I should be fine, but I don’t like not having any cushion. I’ve gotten to the point of my diet exercise phase where I’m having a hard time sticking to my goals. And I’ve been pretty contemplative lately. I’ve been evaluating my status, adjusting my expectations, and in generally, trying to determine where I want the course of my personal life to lead me over the next few years of my life. All in all, it’s led me to feel relatively unsettled, and in some cases, a little discouraged.
At least I am able to look at the pattern, realize that this happens every year about this time, and recognize it for what it is. And I’m still able to be productive and work to be proactive.
I’m making some good progress on some of my resolutions, not so good progress (and in one case, regress) on others.
And the result of all of this is that I set in my apartment at 11:30, ripping audiobooks from CDs to listen to on my runs, and writing wishy-washing blog posts about how my life is a great big pile of "meh." Exciting reading, isn’t it? But, to quote the inestimable Stephen Sondheim, "I’m still here." Still keeping myself busy and working on plugging through the winter rain. Still working on audiobooks (which I just LOVE doing), and playing video games, and doing taxes, and packing, and all that fun stuff.
And hopefully, this fit of the "meh’s" will be a short one, and I’ll be back to my usual glowing, ebullient (and mildly sarcastic) self.
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