Losing My Voice

It’s been four and a half years since I hung up my tap shoes and walked away from the performing world.  Doing so was easier for me than I expected it to be, what with the miserable performing experience I had just gotten through with.  Nevertheless, when I "retired’ from performing, I was basically erasing my identity.  Ever since that moment on my mission when I got a letter from Tim Threlfall telling me that I had been accepted into the Music Dance Theatre program in college–and even before that, when I joined the ranks of the theatre nerds in high school–I was a performer.  I was an actor.  I needed to be on stage.  I needed the applause.  I needed to feel like I was special because I put on costumes and sang and danced for a living.

Walking away from the day-to-day realities of performing wasn’t that hard.  I hated rehearsals, the poor pay, the torturously long hours, the low pay, the self-esteem destroying criticism, the constant rejection, and the low pay.  But part of me still longs to be the performer, still wants to be the guy singing and dancing on stage and entertaining people.  Plus, let’s be honest, I spent tons of money and countless hours honing my craft and teaching it to others.  My rejection of the performer’s life means that those skills lay largely dormant in my day-to-day life.

Lately, I’ve really been struggling with my role as a corporate drone.  I’ve been in my job for well over two years now, which is the longest I’ve ever held a single job.  And certainly, the longest I’ve ever held a full-time job.  Actually, this really is my first "official" full-time job.  All my other jobs certainly took up more than full-time, but didn’t pay accordingly.  I feel, working in a corporate environment, as though I’m losing my voice.  Not physically, but metaphorically.  Up until my move to Seattle, I’ve been something of a free spirit.  I went where the jobs took me.  But now, I go to the same place every day.  I do the same thing every day.  I struggle to find the passion and fire that I used to have over my previous endeavors.

I’ve discussed this in previous blog posts, certainly.  It’s not a new feeling, and it does come and go in waves. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve really felt a drive to reclaim my voice a little.  Both literally and figuratively.  I’ve decided that I’m going to try to start doing some freelance voiceover work.  I own an audiobook company, and enjoy doing that deeply.  But until that starts paying the bills (remember: audiobooks make a great Christmas present!), I have decided that it’s time to put some of my training to good use in other arenas.  I’ve got the setup, some of the training, and a desire.  In my world, that’s a recipe for moderate success. 

So, I’ve joined a few sites for VO artists.  I have recorded several new VO demos.  I’m sending out auditions when I get the chance.  And I’m enjoying the process.  This certainly isn’t a full-time thing (at least, not yet), and my full-time corporate job certainly provides me far more financial stability than would VO work, but I want to feel like I’m reclaiming some of my abandoned and suppressed history and identity.  Plus, let’s be honest…VO work can pay really well.  I can make as much in 1-1.5 hours of VO work as I would for a whole day’s work at my regular job.  And with freelancing in my own studio, I can do both!  (Then I wouldn’t feel so guilty about buying that new $1900 camera that I want so desperately.)  (Um…I mean…Then I could start building my emergency fund again.  Yeah.  That’s the ticket.)

If you’d like to hear my new VO demos, just visit http://www.voices.com/demos/DrChumley.

And if you know people who are looking for voiceover talent, forward the link on.