The New Resolutions

A couple of years ago, I started posting resolutions and goals on my blog about which I would report every month or so for the first few months of the year, after which I would forget about them entirely and never mention them again.  This year, 2009, was the first year that I got into a really strong habit of posting updates to my resolutions…even if that update was to state that I was giving up on them or failing.  Well, I’m nothing if not passionate about self-improvement.  (Shut up.  Just keep your smart-aleck comments to yourself.)  I closed down my resolutions last month due to my completion, closing, or utter failure on each of the 10 resolutions upon which I had decided. 

I don’t see the need to wait until January 1st to come up with my next list of resolutions, however.  All resolutions are is a way of codifying the fact that you, as a person, are not okay with yourself as you are.  And I’ve never been accused (to my face anyway) of having a self-image that is too positive.  Without something official to work on, I’m sure I’ll just stay around the house all day and night, eating bon bons and watchin’ my stories.  ("Wesley, go get daddy his Ben & Jerry’s container.  I don’t wanna miss the Last Chance Workout.")

So, in no particular order, here are the resolutions which I will work on between now and the end of 2010 (or until I give up, whichever comes first.)

1) Learn Spanish

People think that the Chinese or the Japanese are the ones who will be taking over America when the entire government collapses under the massive debt, inefficient bureaucracy, and inept leadership in the next ten years.  This is not the case.  The United States will be taken over by Mexicans.  They’ve been hiding sleeper agents (disguised as illegal immigrants) all around the country for decades.  And you know how they’ll take us over?  Food.  The Mexicans have been controlling our food sources for years and years.  We think they’re just picking the apples and running the fry station at Jack-In-The-Box, but they’ve secretly been injecting mind-controlling drugs into our food chain since the late 30′s.  And I for one want to be ready when our Latino overlords descend on the country to pay us back for Speedy Gonzales cartoons.  That’s why I’m going to learn/re-learn Spanish this year.  The goals is to make it through all three courses of Rosetta Stone Spanish.

2) Experience New Things

Once you become an adult and start working in the corporate world, it becomes increasingly difficult to depart from your rut of daily activity to expand your horizons and enrich your life.  And the older I get, the less willing I find myself to try new things.  So this year, I want to have at least one new experience a month.  Some of these things may be things that I have always wanted to do.  Some may be things that I’m fairly certain I won’t like.  Some will be things that I’ve been taught my whole life are stupid and should never be done.  I have a few things planned that I want to do or try, and I’m going to leave a lot up to spontaneity.  It should be fun.  And possibly disastrous.

3) Tap, Tap, Tap My Troubles Away

I love to tap dance.  Love, love, love it.  It was the first dance class I ever took, and one of the only ones I’ve ever enjoyed.  (I’m not a great dancer.)  I T.A.’d a tap class when I was in college.  I’ve tapped in several shows, including Crazy for You, and the mother of all tap shows, 42nd Street.  I haven’t put on tap shoes since I retired from performing, and it’s one of the only things about it that I miss.  Seattle is a surprisingly solid tap town, and in January, I’d like to start taking a weekly tap dance class.  Doing so will help in multiple ways: I will have a chance to be social and meet new people, I will get exercise, I will get to do something I love to do for fun and not for work, and I will get to be one step closer to my ultimate goal of being an old-timey black song and dance man…like Gregory Heinz, but less dead.

4) Pay off those DAMN credit cards

I started off 2009 with six credit cards.  I paid of five of them, and closed two, leaving me with three zero-balance cards, and one card with a remaining balance.  Then I started a business and charged up several thousand dollars worth of equipment for said business, including a $950 microphone, a $1700 CD duplication system, websites, business licenses, etc.  And I bought a bunch of home decorating stuff as well.  So now I have four cards…two are zero balance, one has a $2,200 balance on a $2,500 credit limit, and the other has a $4,950 balance on a $5,500 credit limit.  This is the year.  On Monday, I’m closing out the two zero balance cards, credit rating be damned.  I don’t need the temptation.  Then I’m working on the lower balance card, which I will close as soon as I get it paid off.  The last card will take me a while, but I’d really like 2010 to be the year that I get out of and STAY out of credit card debt.

5) Be More Social

I have spent so much of my life alone trying to hide from the guilt of my life that I’ve isolated myself from pretty much everyone.  This is the year of change for that.  This will tie in closely with #2, as being more social will get me out and doing more of the new things that I would never do by myself.  I’m hoping that doing so will also help me find some more friends, or perhaps, some more-than friends, if you catch my drift.

6) Write Music

I need to get back to writing music.  Again, with the whole Gay/Mormon/Failure/Unhappy/Hiding Myself game that I’ve been playing for the last several years, it’s no wonder I’ve stopped writing songs.  How can I possibly write any songs that are honest and speak to what’s going on in my heart and in my life, if I’m worried about how various groups are going to react, or worrying about how to reword what I really want to say so it won’t give away more than I really want it to.  The self-censorship process consistently deals death and destruction to creativity.  I can’t write the songs about faith anymore, because I don’t have it.  I can’t write songs about losing my faith because I’ve got to put on this act of being the good little boy.  Well, now that the situation has changed, those restrictions no longer apply.  My goal for this year is to write at least four new songs, and produce them to at least solid demo stage. 

7) Get in Shape

I’m really sick of being doughy and lumpy.  I’ve come to peace with the fact that I’ll never be one of the beautiful people, and that if anyone ever falls in love with me, it will be because of my personality, my brain, and my abilities, with physical appearance being a fairly distant fourth.  That being said, I just don’t feel healthy anymore.  I eat too much junk food, too much fast food, and too much food in general.  I sit in front of a computer all day, then I come home and either sit in front of the computer or in front of the TV.  I eat ice cream as though failing to eat it will cause a slow, agonizing death.  I want to feel healthy again.  I want to be able to walk up two flights of stairs without getting out of breath.  I don’t need to be buff and smoking hot (although I won’t complain if it happens by accident), but I don’t want to get heartburn whenever I lie down.

8) Get Luke Trained for Therapy Work

I’ve been planning on doing this since before I picked up my puppy from the breeder.  I want Luke to do therapy work at nursing homes or hospitals.  He loves people so much, I just need to get him trained.  Plus, doing this will help me with…

9) Be More Giving

Let’s face it.  I’m a selfish ass.  EVERYTHING I do, I do for me.  It’s one of the unfortunate side-effects of being alone all the time.  When you’re isolated from your fellow men, you forget that other people have needs.  Instead, I just spend all my time and money thinking about me: My job, My new business, My food, My leisure time, etc.  I’ve spent the last two years getting an MBA.  I’ve spent all of my time since then working on getting this new business off the ground.  But I need to be more giving with myself and with my money.  One of my co-workers asked me if I’d be interested in donating to a charitable cause, and so I wrote a check for an amount that seemed reasonable.  I mean, I’ve spent easily that much on dinners at nice restaurants before.  I’ve spent significantly more than that on clothing.  But you’d have though I had donated a kidney with the response I got back.  It didn’t seem like that big of a deal to me, but it was a huge deal to my co-worker, and I later realized, to the people that the donation was helping.  I really have been blessed with a lot–not that you’d be able to tell with the way I bitch and moan on my blog.  It’s time to give a little more.  Maybe, if I can even get into shape (see #7) I can do a run for charity or something.

10) Get to Bed Earlier

As I type this, it is 12:50 AM.  In fact, nearly every blog post I write ends up hitting the internets well after midnight.  I do most of my best writing late at night when everything around me is quiet.  Unfortunately, I also get up every morning at 8AM to go to work.  I’ve been operating on between 5-7 hours of sleep a night for the last two and a half years.  It’s got to stop.  I have some ideas on how I can affect this change, and surprisingly, they involve spending more time relaxing.  I’m sure I’ll talk about this more later, but it’s late, and I need to get to bed.  (I’m starting today!)

11) Open Ended…

I’ve come up with 10 things upon which I would like to improve this next 14 months.  But I’m sure that these aren’t going to be all that I want to work on during that time.  I am also mulling the idea that, regardless of the date, I will always have 10 items on my resolutions list.   So, as I close a resolution, whether by success or failure, or by lack of continuing interest, there will always be a list to work from.  I’m not sure if I like that idea, or the idea of marking things off my list as I complete them until everything is done.  I’ll need to think on’t. 

Until December 1st, then.  Now it’s bed time.