Seriously, So Blessed

So, apparently, my last post was, as I am wont to be, a little judgmental.  I’d like to repost a portion of a comment left by my sister:

…On the other hand, I know that we all blog for different reasons. And we’re all different people. I for instance, am a pretty open person. I blog for many reasons. To share pictures and stories with distant friends and family, to journal, to keep family history, and mainly as a form of therapy (so much cheaper then the real thing!). But there are a lot of people out there who really aren’t into sharing the good and bad. And they really do feel “seriously so blessed”. And that is their choice…because it is their blog. I think people love blogging so much because it can really be whatever they want it to be. And if they want to make their blog a place that helps them remember all of the great things in their life, or if they want to make themselves feel better by presenting the best face to their readers…then more power to them, I say!

My blog is mine. I like to change my template frequently to seasonal frilly stuff. It makes me happy. I like caps. I like tags. I try my best to spell and punctuate correctly, but I know I still mess up. But I guess that’s just one more thing that makes me me:)

My challenge to you, dear brother: A list of ten things that make you feel seriously so blessed!

(longest comment ever)

Fair enough.  I maintain that being honest and open is always better than trying to paint a facade of bright and shiny over a normal human life, but it’s not like blogging is a mandatory activity that you have to do a certain way or risk eternal damnation, like taking the sacrament or watching Lost.  If someone wants to use their blog to be perpetually happy, then bully for them.  Likewise, if I want to use my blog to poke gentle fun at them, yay for me!

I mean, let’s be honest.  This blog really serves as a beautiful example of schadenfreude.  It makes people feel glad that they’re not me!  The reason I don’t have ‘Sunday Sunshine’ or play regular games of ‘Count Your Many Blessings’ is that I don’t feel blessed most of the time.  It is quite rare for me to say, "I’m happy with what I have and I’m glad that I have it."  Instead, I live my life wishing for things that will not be, feeling disappointed that I don’t fit in with the rest of the world or even myself.  As my life careens off on its own path, I feel myself falling further and further away from friends, and more painfully, family.  I have adopted a very victim-centric mentality and don’t often feel blessed.  The lack of positive talk in my blog is not an act I put on, it is who I truly am as a person. 

Is it right, or healthy, to feel this way?  Probably not.  But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the way I feel.

The interesting thing is that, in my previous entry, I criticized Mommy Bloggers for failing to be realistic in their posts, always doing nothing more than posting happy platitudes about how happy, blissful, and blessed they are.  For some reason, it’s very difficult for me to believe that someone could be that relentlessly happy while I simultaneously believe that it is possible to feel so blasé about life most of the time.  But, the challenge was given, and I shall take it up. 

10 Things I’m Grateful For

1. I’ve got the best parents and brother and sister in the world
2. I’ve got a dog who makes me feel completely loved every time I walk through my apartment door
3. I’ve got a job that not only pays my bills, but allows me to buy my toys, and live quite comfortably
4. The internet.  My friend, my companion, and the source of most of my knowledge.
5. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world next to a gorgeous lake.
6. I have a mind that not only allows, but requires, me to continue to learn throughout my life. 
7. I have a body that is (relatively) healthy
8. I have a car that has never broken down and doesn’t burn much gas
9. I’ve made it more than a year and a half in my schooling maintaining a 4.0 GPA
10. I have a personality that allows me to share my feelings openly…otherwise I’d explode.