Feeling Left Out

So, nobody ever tags me for the meme posts that go zipping around the blogosphere.  Not really sure why.  Especially since I read TONS of blogs on a daily basis.  I think my Google Reader aggregator is sitting at close to 100 different blogs.  But, nevertheless, I wanted to write something, but I’m not really sure what, so I figured I’d glom onto the latest meme and post the "25 Random Things about Me" blog post that everyone and their dog has been doing.

1. I talk to my dog in baby talk pretty much all the time.  I call him bubba, bubs, bugs, bug, stinky, stinky-pants, stinks, pup, puppy, and occasionally, Luke.  I know I don’t seem the baby talk sort, especially considering my always-surly attitude, but there you go.

2. I love junk food and gourmet food equally.  I’m just as happy with a double cheeseburger, onion rings, and a milkshake as I am with filet mignon, lobster, or hazelnut-encrusted sea bass with a side of garlic wasabe mashed potatoes and a caramel apple tart.  Except for condiments.  I don’t like condiments.  Ketchup, Relish, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Salad Dress.  They’re all nasty.  I REFUSE to eat Mayo or Mustard.  (Unless the mustard is on the aforementioned double cheeseburger.)

3.  I HATED the town I grew up in.  I hated the schools, I hated most of the people, I hated the state the town was in.  I couldn’t wait to get out of that sinkhole of humanity, and I have no intention of EVER going back.  Nobody in my class cared enough to organize a 10-year reunion, but even if they had, I wouldn’t have gone.  As far as I’m concerned, they could bomb Albion off the map, and there are only two or three people I would want to warn.  (Yes, Jamelah, you’re one of them.)  Albion, Michigan stole 9 years of my life that I will never get back.  A pox on your backwards, poverty-stricken, blissful ignorance, suck-hole, opportunity-crushing hide.

4. I broke my wrist when I was five.  How?  Roller skating at the roller rink at a friend’s birthday.  It was awesome.

5. I have more hard drive space in my computers than pretty much anyone else you know outside of a business environment.  Current status? 10 terabytes.

6. I have never been fired from a job…though I imagine I’ve probably gotten myself close on more than one occasion.

7. Once, when I was a young teenager, I was befriended by an older college guy who, looking back on it now, I’m pretty sure was a pedophile.  Once, when I was in Ann Arbor at a school competition, he met me and a friend at a restaurant (he was from the area), and offered to take us back to his house to hang out because his parents were gone.  I’m pretty sure my friend and I would have been molested, but his car broke down halfway to his house, and we were rescued by some of the adults who were supposed to be chaperoning us.  Thank heavens for small miracles.  THAT is one issue I don’t need added to my already long list.

8. When I was younger, I was a total klepto.  I stole money from my dad, I stole from a major store chain in Michigan (like Wal-Mart, but less white-trashy).  The last time I stole something like that was when I was a Junior in High School.  Except for one time when I was four and got caught taking paper and pens from the older son of some friends of my parents, I’ve never been caught.

9. I’ve never had a drop of alcohol to drink in my life.

10. I usually take two naps every day.  I take a nap during my lunch break, and another one right after I get home from work.  If I don’t do that, I can’t focus my mind enough to complete my school work every night. 

11. I’m pretty sure I was a fish in a previous life.  I LOVE water.  I love swimming in it, looking at it, listening to it, photographing it, taking showers, baths, soaking in the hot tub.  If I could live on a lake with my own private beach, I would probably swim every single day.

12.  In the category of TMI: I love being naked.  Sometimes I wish it were socially acceptable to be naked, because it’s a very freeing sensation.

13. My favorite movies are all animated.  I am a huge animation fan.  But not that creepy, loud, obnoxious Japanese Anime.  That stuff gives me seizures.

14.  I saw the first Toy Story movie in the theater five times.

15. I am a really good liar.  I can tell lies like you wouldn’t believe.  What’s more, I almost always remember my lies, and I tell them so often, I start to believe them.

16. I’m a really good multi-tasker, but there is one thing I just can’t do: I can’t listen to music and write at the same time.  My mind is to tuned to listed, analyze, and critique music that I can’t do anything that requires the use of my brain while music is on.

17. I’m a crier.  I cry really easily.  I get choked up ALL the time watching TV and movies.  I’m a sucker for emotional manipulation in visual media…especially when they add music to it.  My brain knows exactly what they’re doing to me, but I can help myself.

18.  Over the course of my life, I have learned to play the following instruments at one point or another: Piano, Trumpet, Clarinet, Flute, Trombone, Euphonium, French Horn, Tin Whistles, Fife, Harmonica, Guitar, Bass, Xylophone.  I want to learn to play the Theremin, the Violin, the Cello, and the Oboe.  I also want to be really, really good on just one of these instruments.  As it is, I range from atrocious to moderately proficient.

19. When I sleep, I like to sleep in a freezing cold room with tons of heavy blankets on top of me.  The heavier the blankets, the better I’ll sleep…as long as the room is cold.

20.  Once, I was staying at a host family’s house, and I was so tired and slept so heavily that I wet the bed.  When I was 26.  (Note to self: write a blog post about the time I wet the bed when I was 26).

21. If I could afford it, I would be a professional student.  I love to learn new things.  I want to get a degree in music composition, go to culinary school, learn lots of new languages, learn how to write my own computer programs, improve my photography, etc.  ‘Cuz Knowledge is Power!

22. I like chick flicks, but not the kind of chick flicks where the women act like mean-spirited, back-stabbing she-whores.  My favorites are Ever After and While You Were Sleeping.

23. There are few things I love more than listening to a black woman who can SING.  Like Jennifer Hudson, or Whitney Houston before she became a crack whore and destroyed her voice.

24. When I was a voice teacher, I made more than a few of my students cry.  I didn’t mean to, honest!  I don’t want to known as a mean person.

25. When I was a little kid, I would spend hours prank calling 1-800 comment numbers on the back of food packages.  One time, I made the woman at the Nabisco comment line threatened to call the FBI for phone harassment.  It was the 10th call in as many minutes in which I sang "Sometimes you feel like a nut, some times you don’t" in a fake opera voice that finally pushed her over the edge.  I did learn some interesting new swear words, though.