So, the sis came to Seattle this weekend to spend time with me, despite the fact that I was constantly hacking up a lung due to newly discovered allergies.  We had a blast, ate way too much food, and enjoyed the good company.  (And we saw Inception.  Awesome movie.)

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We went to Pike Place Market, Ivars, took the Ferry to Bainbridge Island, saw Inception, ate at Pomegranate Bistro, watched TV, napped, read, went to the dog park, ate like pigs, and otherwise had a wonderful time.  An excellent weekend. 

Now if I could just get over these @#$%#@( allergies and stop coughing long enough to sleep for more than two hours a night.

So, apparently, I haven’t been "sick."  I’ve been "allergic."  At least that’s what my very nice new family practice doctor believes.

Today, I had an experience that I haven’t experienced for well over 7 years:  I was able to use health insurance provided by my workplace to pay for my medical expenses.  I had to make a $20 co-pay for my office visit and a $10 co-pay for each of my two prescriptions.  All told, I walked out of my Doctor’s appointment today spending $40.

If I had gone to the Doctor’s office three weeks ago, I would have had to pay $125 for the doctor’s visit ($265 without the discount for being uninsured), an extra $40 for the strep test they ran, $78 dollars for one prescription, and $93 for the other.  Coming to a grand total of $336. 

And moreover, when the doctor suggested that I go get properly tested for allergies, I didn’t brush him off automatically, like I normally would.  You see, my insurance will cover the cost…except for $20.  And if I out that I’m actually allergic to something (other than exercise and eating healthily) then my insurance will cover that too!

And, for the first time since I was 17 years old, I actually have a family doctor!  I didn’t have to go to some emergency walk-in clinic or urgent care!

See, I had insurance before I started this job.  I was paying $150 a month for the insurance…and I got, essentially, nothing for it.  I had to spend $1850 out of pocket before my insurance would kick in.  Do you kn ow how many times over the last seven years I should have gone to the doctor but didn’t because I couldn’t afford it?  I haven’t been to the dentist in three years because I didn’t have $3,500 of available credit on my credit card to pay for whatever was wrong this time around.

Look, I don’t argue that the problems with the health care system go far above and beyond the cost and availability of health insurance.  And I know that health insurance and health care aren’t necessarily the same thing.  But do you know grateful I was that I could go to the doctor today, get two prescriptions, and come home to get healthy?  I have spent so many nights of my life lying awake, coughing so hard I was certain I was going to die, and absolutely unwilling to go to the doctor because it was either get antibiotics or pay my rent.

In an "enlightened" society, that should NEVER have to be a choice that anyone should ever have to make.  People should not have to choose between shelter and health care.  I’m just extremely blessed that I have been a mostly-healthy person over the last decade of my life.  I can’t imagine what would have become of me if I had developed a serious illness.

I hope that, eventually, we as a country, and as a world, will be able to figure out a way to provide the same kind of worry-free health care to all people, not just the ones who are either rich enough to buy it or lucky enough to have jobs that provide it.  Until that day, I’m so grateful that I am one of the lucky ones.

It would be MISERABLE*.  Miserably sick.

*Please Note: As a man, (shutup…I am so a man.  Just a man who likes showtunes)  I fall prey to the same condition that do all men.  I turn into a big, whiny crybaby when I’m sick.  As a result, the rest of this blog post should be read taking into account my sickness-induced whiny crybaby state.  Which differs from my regular whiny crybaby state only in degree.

When I was young, I used to get sick all the time.  Especially when there was a season change.  As I have grown older, I’ve stopped getting sick so frequently.  In fact, I often go a year or two without getting sick.  I drink about 12 gallons of water a day, so it’s not uncommon for me to go to the restroom 6 or 7 times every single day at work, after which I wash my hands, so my hands are usually quite clean.

Well, after 27 months of Seattle winter (40 degrees, cloudy, and wet), summer finally hit on the official first day of summer in Seattle, July 5th.  (Seriously.  It’s always rainy and cold on the 4th, and then on the 5th, it gets nice and stays nice through October.)  Anyway, the sudden change of weather doesn’t really bother me much anymore, but this time, I got that sore throat thing going on.  You know, the kind where it just feels like you slept with your mouth open for too long?  Since I’m a mouth breather, I feel that almost every morning, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Well, on Friday, I had that same sore throat feeling I’d been experiencing for two weeks.  We had a company picnic at a nearby park that started at 3PM, and ran until 6PM.  At about 5:10, all of a sudden, it felt as if someone had just instantly drained me of all energy.  My neck started to hurt.  I left the picnic early, and went home.  By 9:30, I was done.  D. U. N.

I took a hot bath, and I went to bed at 10PM–an absolutely unheard of bedtime for me.  I don’t think I slept for more than 45 minutes at a time all night.  I woke up over and over again: Too hot, too cold, had to pee, needed a drink, why the hell isn’t my "Nitetime(sic) Sleep Aid" working.  I got up and slept on the sofa in the living room, then went back to bed.  I spent 30 minutes on the floor of the bathroom thinking I might throw up.  (I did dry heave a little bit, but seeing as how I hadn’t eaten anything for 11 hours by that point, there wasn’t much to throw up.)

And that was the motif to my entire weekend.  No sleep at night, trying to take naps during the day, barely enough energy to take the dog outside.  I had started a new diet this week (lost 6 pounds in three days) and so, of course, I got sick.  And since I hadn’t though to cook three days ahead in case I got sick, I don’t have anything to eat or any energy to cook.

There are really only two reasons I haven’t been whining more: a) Luke doesn’t understand my whining, and b) it hurts to talk.  And what really sucks is that my sister is supposed to be coming up here to visit on Thursday afternoon.  So, dammit, I need to get better and I need to get better now.  So, I’ve done what I always do when I get sick.  I developed my own personal over-the-counter drug cocktail. 

I know I’ve said this before but I’d like to reiterate.  Moms, I seriously do not know how to survive when you’re sick.  I barely have the energy to get up and open the door for my apartment to let the dog out.  How do you continue to cook, clean, nurture, and support your family.  You’re my heroes.  Because I couldn’t do it.

I could whine, though.  That’s helpful, right?

So yesterday, I was complaining (as I am wont to do) about the fact that I didn’t have anything about which I could blog.  Luckily, all three of my blog readers chimed in and offered suggestions for future posts, which I appreciate greatly, and plan to use soon..  However, I managed to have a real life experience that rankled enough that I thought it deserved its own blog rant.

I despite the US Postal Service.

The USPS is a worthless, money-wasting, bloated, inefficient, run down, obsolete, stupid pile of rat droppings.  The people who manage the postal service are scum sucking scab pickers with a collective intelligence that isn’t capable of figuring out how to escape from a Chinese finger trap.  They’re loathsome slug-eating dirtbags.  And doesn’t even begin to describe my mail lady.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. 

There really is only one word in the English language to describe the mail carrier for my apartment complex:  Bitch.  She’s unpleasant, stand-offish, and mean.  She’s lazy and ill-tempered.  She won’t even acknowledge a "hello" or a "good afternoon."  She is 100% without any compassion at all.  She’s just a stone cold bitch.

I first started having problems with this woman when I moved in three years ago and subscribed to Netflix.  I ordered my three DVDs, and I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And they never came.  So I reported the missing DVDs to Netflix, and they sent them out again.  And they never came.  Eventually, about three weeks later, the original batch of DVDs got returned to Netflix saying that my address was incorrect.  So, I got online, and my address was 100% correct.  In order to smooth over what I’m sure was just a minor understanding, I ran into my mail lady one day while I was out walking the dog, and I asked her if she knew anything.

Y’all, she looked at me with a death glare and said, "I had to send them back because the address was too long and it didn’t fit in the window." 

"I’m sure," I said, "it’s a long address.  But, you can still read the apartment number.  It’s just printed on the red part of the envelope, not the white part."

"You need to shorten the address."

"And," I stated, "My name is printed on a label inside my mailbox so you know who is living in the apartment.  There’s only ONE Matt Armstrong in the complex."

"You need to shorten the address."

"Not to mention," I continued, "that we have an office complex where the staff can look up the apartment number of anyone in the complex…even though you already have my name inside my mailbox AND you could still read the number if you looked at it closely."

"You need to shorten the address."

And that was that.  In essence, the Mail Nazi declared that she wasn’t going to

Now, granted.  I have a very long street address.  Of all of the places I’ve ever lived, it’s the longest address I’ve ever seen. 

#### W LAKE SAMMAMISH PKWY NE APT #####

That is my street address.  (Just replace the #s with actual numbers, and you’d have my address).  It’s very long.  It’s also a treat to try to spell over the phone when you need to order something or confirm your billing address.  It’s especially fun for your mom to scream over the phone to your nearly-deaf grandmother who wants to send you a birthday card with a huge honking check in it, but who is also so paranoid (and cheap)that she refuses to go to the doctor to get a hearing aid.

Anyway.

This address has been a source of annoyance for me since I moved into this complex.  I love the complex.  Most companies that send things through the mail require that your address be standardized to the US Postal Service’s (GRRRRR) official address format.  This is required because, if you standardize addresses and presort your mailings, you actually get a much cheaper postage rate.  It also helps to ensure that the service’s automatic mail sorting systems can read and recognize the address.  The problem is that, if you try to type in my full address, most web forms will choke.  Most web forms have a character length limitation that  won’t even allow me to enter my full address, even though it also requires that, because of the standardization, said address should be 100% correct.  Often, I have to actually call the company and have them manually override the system and put in my full address because otherwise I can’t pay my bills, order things online, etc.

Netflix is one of those companies that, in order to save on what must be astronomical postage costs, they standardize addresses.  So, I went online, and updated my address, shortening LAKE SAMMAMISH PKWY to LK. SAMM. PKWY as I was instructed by the Mail Gestapo.  Netflix’s system standardized it back to normal.  So then I tried moving my apartment number to Line #2.  Netflix’s system standardized it and moved it back to the first line.  Finally, I had to call Netflix and have them manually adjust it to meet the needs of the Postal SS.  And eventually my DVDs started coming through…about 80% of the time.  Sometimes they just don’t show up for three or four weeks, and then end up back at Netflix.  (Side note: It only takes them 1-2 days to get to me.  Why does it take them 4 weeks to get back to Netflix?)

That is, until Netflix makes some update to its customer address system, and in response to complaints from the postal service, re-standardizes all address and again my DVDs to stop showing up.

It’s not only Netflix that causes problems.  I’ve had credit card statements never show up or get returned to the card company because of the standardized address problem.  When a package arrives, the postal lady leaves the package in the office, but NEVER puts a slip of paper in my mailbox alerting me that a package has arrived.  So the only way I know it has been delivered is to keep bugging the office staff every day until it comes, or just wait until it’s been sitting in the office for two weeks and the office staff calls me, angrily demanding that I come and get my package or they’re going to throw it away.

And it’s not just me.  I’ve spoken with all my neighbors, and we’ve all been having problems with Mary, Queen of Stamps.  Several have complained to the Postmaster for Redmond.  And the response?  I kid you not:  "Well, you just need to shorten your address."

Okay, I have a few things to say about that.

  1. THIS IS MY ADDRESS.  If you’ve got a problem with how long it is, maybe you shouldn’t have let them name the street WEST LAKE SAMMAMALAMADINGDONG PARKWAY to begin with.
  2. DO YOUR D(#$ JOB.  You were hired to deliver my mail.  You have several tools at your disposal.  Just do your job and deliver my mail…even if that means to have to put forth a little effort to do it.
  3. Really?  REALLY?
  4. PULL THE STICK OUT.  I can understand if you’re having a bad day.  Or even a bad week.  But if you’re so miserable that you can be a dour-faced pisspot of a mail carrier for three years straight, you either need to get on some meds or get a new job.  Because you’re starting to tick me off royal.
  5. YOU NEED TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND.  Either I can shorten my address or I can’t.  Either I have to standardize my address or I don’t.  If I have to use a standardized address, and that address is too long, then you, as the postal carrier, don’t get to decide whether or not you’re going to deliver my mail based on the length of said address.  My address is accurate, it’s legible (although requiring a little effort), and it has been standardized to YOUR STUPID SYSTEM!  Also, SEE RULE #2.

The United States Postal Service is dying an ignominious death.  When I was born, the price for a first-class stamp was 15¢.  Now, 32 years later, it has increased by 293%, and next year it will be 306%.  That has roughly kept pace with inflation, which is fine, but what isn’t fine is that the Postal Service is now operating at HUGE losses.  The postal service estimates that, in the next 10 years, they could amass a deficit of, get this, $283 BILLION dollars.

Again, it’s a pseudo-governmental agency, so that’s not a huge surprise, since the government isn’t any more capable of living within its means than is 4/5ths of the US population (including myself.)  But what "really frosts my cookies" (name that quote) is the fact that the USPS is running at such a HUGE deficit, but can’t even provide a basic level of service. 

If I ship a package via Priority Mail, it’s supposed to arrive in 2-3 days.  It costs more than UPS.  It doesn’t include any insurance, like UPS.  I have to pay extra for tracking, which UPS includes in the price.  And worst of all, the package NEVER takes 2-3 days.  I shipped one package last year via Priority Mail, and it took 8 days to get there.  EIGHT DAYS.  The only reason I used USPS is because I had to go to the library, and the Post Office was across the street.  Otherwise, I would have gone to UPS.

Now, in addition to trying to jack up the price of stamps to something like 55¢ next year, the UPSP is trying to end mail delivery on Saturday because it’s so expensive.  So, let me get this straight.  You’re losing money hand over fist, people are moving all of their previously mail-related business to the Internet or your competitors, You’re failing to meet even the most basic of your promised service goals, and you’re going to hold on the customers by REDUCING services and increasing costs?  Only in America.  It’s exactly the kind of hubris that toppled IBM & General Motors, that is currently in the process of toppling Microsoft, and has just barely started to topple Apple.

The Postal Service Creed states–and this is from their own television commercials, mind you–"We are mothers and fathers. And sons and daughters. Who every day go about our lives with duty, honor and pride. And neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change, nor a nation challenged, will stay us from the swift completion of our appointed rounds. Ever." 

Well, where in that creed does it state, "Unless I’m in a bad mood, or the address is too long, or I don’t want to be bothered going to the office to have them look up your apartment number."  If it’s dumping snow outside, I’d just a soon my mail carrier didn’t come.  Stay home and be safe.  But, dammit, if you’re going to go out on your rounds, just deliver the mail.  IT’S. YOUR. JOB.

Look.  I’m a guy who loves his technology.  I live on my computer.  I pay my bills online.  But I like actually getting a bill in the mail as a reminder to pay.  I LOVE getting birthday cards (especially when they have a check in them.)  I freak out over Christmas Cards and hang all of them on the inside of my front door for decorations.  I like getting packages from my parents with candy and gift cards (and usually some food storage items, because, hey!  Why not?)  I run a small business that occasionally ships products out to customers.  But it’s getting less and less likely that I’ll ever use the United States Postal service to do ANY of these things.  Why would I?  I could do it faster, more cheaply, and with far better tracking and security than I could do with USPS. 

And to my mail lady:  Look.  I don’t know what your problem is, but it’s about time you pulled the stick out.  I’m not normally the kind of person who complains to managers, but if you don’t start delivering my mail…or at least try to make a token effort, I’ll make an exception.  In fact, I’m sure I could spearhead a letter-writing campaign with just my apartment complex and the other complexes on my street .  And just to spite you, I’ll deliver them in person at the post office, thus negating the need to use a stamp.  I’d hate to see anyone lose their job for being a mean-spirited lazy ass, but…wait a minute. 

No I wouldn’t.  It would be awesome.

So, guess what?  I don’t know what to blog about!  I need ideas.

Or perhaps I need to just give up on the blog.  If I don’t have anything interesting to blog about, maybe it’s a sign that I’ve finally expressed everything interesting I have to express, and now I should just get off the ‘net instead of continuing to populate my blog with self-pitying ramblings and morose introspections.  I mean, honestly.  It’s not like I’m some pre-teen Twi-Hard or anything.

(I’m totally Team Jacob…um…I mean…)

In all seriousness, though, I’ve just not been leading a very interesting life lately.  I’m boring.  BORING.  So, to that end, I’m opening up the blog to questions.  Please, all three readers (I gained one!) ask me questions.  If your question is poignant, funny, enraging, or stupid enough, I may answer it.  Get me going on one of my trademark rants (easy).  Make me cry like a little girl (easier).  Make me feel guilty about my choice of lifestyle (easiest). 

Please ask away.  I want to write, but I’m not having a very easy time coming up with something.

My blog is in your hands.

  • Merrick Bank Credit Card…PAID IN FULL
  • Dell Financial Services Credit Card…PAID IN FULL
  • Kohl's Credit Card…PAID IN FULL
  • Chase / Best Buy Credit Card…PAID IN FULL
  • Capital One Platinum Card…PENDING

That's right.  In one fell swoop (or rather four fell swoops.  Or is that fells swoop?) I have cut my credit card debt load down from about $16,000 to less than $5,000 and have decreased the number of cards with a balance by 80%.  I have one card left to go, then I will be credit card debt free.  This weekend, I will call up and cancel the Dell account so I can't get myself into trouble on that front again, and the rest of the cards I can't use because I don't have the actual cards. 

I wish I could say that it feels good, but I have to be honest:  It doesn't.  For about a week, I had well over $12,000 in my bank account…something I've never experienced before.  It was nice having that kind of money in my account, of feeling what it as like being able to go to a store and buy something I wanted or needed without having to worry about if I have enough money to afford it.  I could have paid cash for a few major purchases that I've been wanting for years and years and years.  (A piano, some expensive recording gear, the down payment for my Xterra…)

Having declared bankruptcy, and then having built up all this debt again, it's been hard for me to get a grasp on how sick I am when it comes to the way I look at money.  Even today, as I was waiting for the funds from that $11K check to clear in order to pay off my credit cards, I spent my lunch break surfing around Sweetwater.com, and had decided to buy about $2,800 worth of professional recording equipment because I had convinced myself that I needed it for recording audiobooks…despite the fact that I haven't sold a single copy of any of my audiobooks to anyone other than family.  (Note: I didn't actually buy the equipment, but it was a close call…)

Tonight, as I was paying off these bills, I was actually rather depressed.  Not because I had gotten myself to this point, but because I didn't want to be using this money to pay off the debts.  I really wanted to be spending it.  The problem with paying off debt is that it's not exciting.  There's no satisfaction or the thrill I get spending money and buying new things.  I know it's shallow and materialistic of me, but I really like buying new things.  I LOVE spending money.  It makes me feel powerful and important…feelings that I rarely feel in everyday life.

I think that I also get extremely discouraged because I look at the $11K I just threw toward credit card companies.  I know what it took to get me there.  I know how hard it was to save up even that much…and how utterly I failed at being frugal during that time.  I know how much CRAP I bought, and how much money I've thrown away.  And then I look at the remaining $85,000 of debt I've got to deal with, and it just seems like an impossible mountain to climb.  Sure, it's for a reasonably priced car and for an education–at least half of which has been beneficial in drastically increasing my earning potential–but it's still debt.  If it took me 3 years to save up the money for these cards, and I had to drain my retirement account in order to pay off them off, how much longer will I be paying off the rest of my debts?

I need to take my minor victory here, and try to be glad that I'm nearly out of credit card debt.  I just hope to heaven that I can manage to keep this up.  I can't afford to slip back into this trap of debt again. 

So, anyway, I've paid off four of my five credit cards!  Yay for me!

I love three day weekends!  This weekend I

  • Finished the Open Book Audio Website (check it out!  http://www.openbookaudio.com)
  • Took Luke to the Dog Park
  • Gave Luke a Bath
  • Went to the Pet Store to get food and doggy toys
  • Took Luke to Dairy Queen for a Doggy Cone.  (If you have a dog and you didn’t know, you can get free doggy cones at the drive through for your puppy.)
  • Played Video Games
  • Ate Pizza (mmmm.  Pizza)
  • Started the next audiobook
  • Wrote 6,000 words of a new book I’m going to try and write
  • Bought and put together a new hamper.
  • Bought and “installed” new bedding and a memory foam mattress topper for when my sister comes to visit in 2 1/2 weeks.
  • Cleaned the closet
  • Paid off another credit card
  • Got Gasoline
  • Got my car washed and vacuumed
  • Went to Guitar Center twice and kept myself from buying anything both times
  • Finished watching the movie that has been acting as the blockage in the colon of my Netflix Queue for the last 3 months, The Curious Case of Benjamin Boredom.
  • Went Grocery Shopping
  • Took 4 naps

 

Just imagine what I could get done with a four-day weekend!

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been pining.  I’ve been pining, not for the fjords, as some might assume (even though sometimes I do pine for the fjords because, well, have you ever seen them?  If you had, you’ve be pining too.)  But actually, I’m pining for theatre.  I want to get back on stage.

So, for those of you keeping track, it took slightly under five years for me to actually get to the point where I missed doing theater and wished that I could get back into it a little bit.  We all knew it would happen eventually, and now it has.

Back in Orem, Utah, there’s a little theater called the Hale Center Theatre.  I’ve never performed there, though I have seen several shows produced at the theater.  With one exception, all the shows that I saw there were good.  The one exception to that was Camelot.  Not that the production was bad, per se, but the show itself is just horrible.  Plus, I have a bad Camelot experience in my background.

When I was in high school, the US Marine Band came to my little town to do a concert.  Being a huge band nerd, I felt it was my duty to go.  I dragged my friend Jamelah over to the Albion Jr. High School Auditorium, and we listened to the concert.  It was a full concert band (like an orchestra without the strings) and four singers.  When the band played, it was fine, and the singers were talented.  They sang in that super-tight 4-part jazz harmony that is awesome in really small doses. 

In the middle of the concert, however, they decided to play the entire score to Camelot with these four singers in full military regalia “acting” out the parts.  It was beyond atrocious.  The performances were shallow and vapid, the “acting” was painful, the voices were wrong for the kind of music, and the score to Camelot has about as much charm as the cast of Jersey Shore.  It was the longest 17 months 45 minutes of my life.

Anyway, back to me wanting to perform.  The Hale is doing a special show right now.  They’re doing a production of 110 in the Shade and, for the first two weeks, the female lead is being played by Audra McDonald.  Audra has won both Tony and Grammy Awards, has been on Broadway, the TV Show Private Practice and starred in my personal favorite musical of all time, Ragtime.  I love her work.  And the fact that she’s taking time out of her schedule to do these performances in Orem, Utah to help a theater raise music is really, really cool.

And while I would love the opportunity to work with her, my real reason for wanting to do the show is actually much wider.  It’s being directed by one of my favorite people of all time, Dave Tinney…a director with whom, despite having taken classes from him (he gave me a GREAT grade in Choregoraphic Styles), been coached by him, taken master classes from him, eaten dinner at his house, recorded soundtracks for his shows, and been to his kids’ birthday parties, I’ve never had the opportunity to work with him as a director, and that makes me sad.  Theatrically, Dave is a genius, and I love working with genius.

Then there’s the cast.  This cast is FULL of my former classmates from BYU.  Kevin, who used to work for Aztec Showtrax and was at Tuacahn with me.   Natalie, who was in half of my classes, went to the New York Showcase, and was at Tuacahn with me. Laurel (Hi Laurel!) whose mom taught my modern dance classes but we never got to do any work together. Melissa L. who was part of a core group of friends that I used to love spending time with after graduation. Korianne, who got rejected right along with me the first time we auditioned for the MDT program, who was the best-even scene partner in The Fantastics, and who is maybe the awesomest voice teacher ever.  Melissa T. on the piano, who is one of the best accompanists I’ve ever known, and with whom I worked in the Box Office at Tuacahn (and who is moving up here in September!!!).  Having all of these people who I love and miss so much in the same show at the same time with an amazing director working with one of the most talented and respected women working in the theater world today.  It would have been an absolutely amazing experience,

But that was the problem with doing theater.  It’s hard to be able to pick and choose what you want to do.  Unless you’re insanely in demand, you often just take what comes along…and often, what comes along isn’t an amazing experience.  I know this deep down, but when I hear of these amazing life-changing theatrical experiences happening, and I’m not a part of them, I feel almost like I sold my soul by leaving behind the world. 

In a way, seeing my friends glow about this experience is really making me question my choice to leave that world behind.  I was blessed with some measure of talent in the world of musical theater, Maybe, because of that, I had a responsibility to use the talent I had been given and that I had worked to develop instead of shutting it down, sticking it in a box, and zipping up my corporate America straight jacket.  It’s the first time I’ve really questioned if I did the right thing by “retiring".”

(Heck, who’s to say that I would have even gotten cast if I had auditioned.  I know and like Dave, but it could be that he couldn’t stand me and wouldn’t have cast me anyway…)

So, Laurel, I know you read the blog occasionally, so I’ll direct this to you:  I’m SO FREAKING JEALOUS OF THE FACT THAT YOU GET TO DO THIS SHOW!  Please tell Dave, Natalie, Kevin, Rachel, Melissa, Korianne, and Melissa that I said hello, I’m so green with envy that people should start calling me Kermit, and that I miss them.  And anyone else who is in the show that I forgot here, but who would know me.  And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but please make sure you have the time of your life doing this show.  Even after Audra leaves and Natalie takes over for her. 

End Scene.

Up until about two months ago, I used to be a news junkie.  I would listen to NPR, podcasts, read online news sources.  On the weekends, I listened to Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR and would often do better than the guests because I knew everything that was going on.  But lately, something has happened.  I just don’t care about the news anymore.

Actually, I think it’s a little more active than just not caring about the news anymore: I’m tired of being in the middle of the world.  If the media is to be believed, the entire world is falling down around us, and there’s nothing of redeeming value left in the world.  Every politician is crooked, every environment is on the verge of collapse, the economy will never recover, there is war on every corner of the globe, no marriage can ever last, hate runs rampant everywhere, and everyone is being discriminated against all the time.

Well, I’ve decided that’s a bunch of baloney, and I’m tired of having it force fed to me.  Much like my radical moderation when it comes to life in general, I find the extremism of the media far too much to handle on a daily basis.  The only things that ever get reported or promoted are the extreme things.  And, more harmfully, extremely BAD things.

I hate the fact that I have to cloister myself away from world events in order to be able to recognize the good and peaceful things in this world.  But, as I get older, I’m finding that I’m more and more desperate for that goodness and peace, and less and less interested in being a part of the world that seems hell-bent on trying to take it away from me.  The (hopefully) wiser I become, the more I’m really beginning to truly understand the phrase, “Ignorance is bliss.”

And I’m finding that it’s more than just the news.  I find myself watching less and less television, fewer and fewer movies.  There’s just too much slutty, sleazy, trashy, disgusting, and disgraceful behavior on display everywhere.  The fact that shows like Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of ________________ are not only on the air, but insanely popular is heart-breaking to me.  Why are we glorifying disgusting behavior, tension, and misplaced priorities? 

I know that this post makes me sound like the crabby old people who write into the newspaper.  And I suppose that’s all right.  I would like to be able to be a part of the world and to be “up” on current events.  But I just can’t take it emotionally anymore.  The constant disintegration of morals and decency is wearing on me.  (And, no, I’m not necessarily talking about religious morals and decency…I’m talking about HUMAN morals and decency.)

I’m not naïve enough to believe that if we could somehow rewind the clock and go back to some time in the past 60 years ago, that we would be living in some idealistic version of modern life.  There have been the same sorts of influences in the world for thousands of years.  It’s just that modern information life makes these changes so blatant and in your face that it can become impossible to escape.

Unless you hide yourself away.  Which is what I do.  Now I don’t listen to the news.  I listen to audiobooks.  They’re far more entertaining, and they entertain without dragging me down. 

So, for me, this is it.  My slow slide into ignorance and obscurity begins now.   I plan on learning first-hand if it really is bliss.

You may not realize it, Gentle Reader, but tonight begins an entirely new era of blogging for yours truly.  No, my blog will not become interesting, or trenchant, or even moderately cohesive.  There has been no seismic change in my life that will illicit ream upon ream of writing to delight and enthrall the senses.  No, this new era is ushered in by something far more mundane.

I can now blog from my sofa.

That’s right.  Today, I received my early birthday present to myself: my new Dell laptop.  This may  not seem like a particularly fascinating development.  And, let’s be honest…it’s not.  But it’s unusual for me.  I’m not usually a fan of the laptop.  I like having a full-sized keyboard and a big screen (or, in my case, two big screens.)  But I figured it was time to get a laptop…especially for the kind of work I’m going to be doing with my new job.  Since I have to be transporting video back and forth between my studio at home and my office, this just seemed like a perfect fit.

Plus, now it gives me the opportunity to live-blog TV shows.  Not that I will actually do that, but I could do that if I were so inclined.

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The new job, for those who keep asking, is coming along pretty well.  It’s a great company at which to work.  (Is that grammatically correct?  I was trying not to use a preposition to end that sentence with.)  The job is enjoyable and very challenging for me, which is a nice change of pace.   The environment is very different than my last job.  At Microsoft, I was one of the oldest members of a very young team.  The team was very relaxed, fun, and—well—hilariously unprofessional.  I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, by more in a walking-hr-violation-make-me-laugh-all-the-time sort of way.  Because it was a younger group of folks, there were a lot of friendships between the people at work.  If it weren’t for some of the folks I met on that job, I wouldn’t talk to anyone else…ever.  Pretty much my only relationships here are from friends that I made on that job.

The new environment is equally relaxed, but that’s about where the similarities end.  It’s a much more staid environment.  The people are wonderful, and quite friendly.  But I’ve gone from being one of the oldest of a young team to one of the youngest of my new team.  Most of my teammates have families, and several have children.  It is, I imagine, much more like a regular work environment than I was used to.  It’s not bad, by any means…just very different.  I like the folks I work with a lot, and they’ve been extremely helpful.  But I don’t see any of my current co-workers and I hanging out on the weekends. 

That being said, the company’s great.  In two days, I will have amazing health insurance.  It’s wonderful knowing how much every paycheck is going to be, even if I take time off.  I really enjoy working with the clients, and I think that as I begin to have a better understanding of our system, I’ll be able to provide a lot of value to the company.

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I’m in the mood to start watching a new TV show, and I’m trying to figure out which shows I’d like to see.  I’ve thought about watching the X-Files from beginning to end.  I’m half-way through My Name is Earl which was funny for the first season, but afterwards I lost interest.  I think what I’m going to pick up next is The West Wing.  I love some of the actors in that show, especially Bradley Whitford and Allison Janney (or however her name is spelled.)  Plus I need a show that’s a little more, well, intellectual. 

Besides, I need something to tide me over before Warehouse 13 comes back on in July.

If you’re not watching this show, I’d highly suggest it.  Funny, well-written, and inventive.  Plus, Eddie McClintock!

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So, you may have noticed that there’s something a little different about my blog theme.  I’m trying a few different things, and I have latched on to a new theme yet.  I like the layout of this theme…especially the fact that the categories are listed as a drop-down above.  But, I still need to make some customizations if this is the theme I decide to stick with.  I’m not a HUGE fan of the white text on black background…but it’s hard to find a theme that I actually like.  Plus this theme has the comments link at the top of the post, which doesn’t make any sense at all.  Actually, the more I think about it, the less I want to keep this theme.

If anyone can suggest WordPress themes that they like, let me know.  I’m a tough cookie when it comes to themes.